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BACK ISSUES - JULY-AUGUST 2000

 
August 31- "Blessed is he who has found his work" Thomas Carlyle

 

THIS WEEK'S TRIVIA QUESTION: Fred Gehrke played running back for the Los Angeles Rams, from 1946 through 1949. But he is not remembered so much for his playing as for something else he did, in 1948. What did he do? HINT: While playing for the Rams, he worked in the engineering design divison of Northrup Aircraft as a technical artist. HINT: In 1972, he received a special award from the Pro Football Hall of Fame for his artistry. HINT: His work is still on display most Sundays in the fall.

*********** Adam Wesoloski, campaigning hard for a lucrative assignment as my Green Bay-area correspondent, sent me a follow-up to my story yesterday about "The Season." Seems there's another documentary due out sometime this fall about the other team in "The Season" - Dad's team. The documentary is called "The Sport of War," and it's about C. .B. West High, which the film's two young - and provincial - producers unabashedly call "The Best High School Football Program in America." The "best?" In America? An absurd claim, impossible to prove. Chalk it up to the producers' Philadelphia-bred partiality. But in his 37 years at Central Bucks West High in nearby Doylestown, Pennsylvania, Coach Pettine, who retired at the end of last season with a streak of 45 wins and three straight Class 4A state titles going, had three win streaks of over 30 games, so it it is safe to say that the C. B. West program has long been one of the very best in the state of Pennsylvania. Let's let it go at that, and take a look at the producers' web site, which indicates that their film has great potential: http://www.sportofwar.com

 

RESURRECTED FROM MY "NEWS" - September 8, 1999 - It's called the Law of Unintended Consequences. Since 1971, Central Bucks West High (Doylestown, Pennsylvania) has ended its regular season against its arch-rival, Central Bucks East. But playing such an emotional game a week before playoffs begin has had disastrous effects on playoff performances - in 1996, both teams entered the final game unbeaten, but a week later both teams lost district playoff games. So this year, at the request of CB-West, the big game will be played earlier in the season. (No one can accuse CB-West coach Mike Pettine of making excuses, because CB-West is defending state 4-A (largest class) champion.) Only trouble is, CB-West now will end the regular season against North Penn, of Lansdale. Many pre-season polls have CB-West and North Penn ranked 1-2 in the state. Emotional? North Penn is coached by Mike Pettine, Jr.

 

*********** The Grand Final, the Super Bowl of Australian Rules Football, will be shown live in the US on Fox Sports World, tomorrow night (Friday). For those of you who can get Fox Sports World and don't have a Friday night game (of course, you can always tape it if you do!), the game is preceded at 10:30 ET/ 7:30 PT by "A to Z of Aussie Rules" a primer on the game starring my son, Ed and produced by his fiancee, Michelle Howden. It's followed by the pregame show at 11 pm ET / 8 pm PT and finally the game itself at 11:45 pm ET / 8:45 pm PT.

 

*********** If you know of a higher handicapped-accessible toilet than the one at the 10,080 foot level of Washington's 14,411-foot Mount Rainier, please tell me. (Airplanes don't count.) What's the point, you say, of a handicapped-accessible toilet in a place that few physically-able people have the strength or desire to visit? Well, it seems that a paralyzed former skier,who laboriously made it to the high-altitude john using ropes and something called a "sit ski, " still had to be carried into the rest facility when nature called. So he complained. Threatened to sue. And now, despite the fact that the mountain is already defaced by two solar-powered outhouses installed because so many "nature lovers" were showing their appreciation of the Great Outdoors by, well, defecating in the snow where the, uh, stuff doesn't decompose, the National Park Service has decided to build a third outhouse, rather than fight his lawsuit. This one will be able to accomodate a wheelchair. Right. A wheelchair. In the snow, at 10,080 feet. It still will not, however, accomodate our handicapped "sit skier". Assuming one climb up Mount Rainier wasn't enough for him and he goes for more, he will still have to be carried in. No doubt he is very pleased with himself, though, for having made his point, and having required the National Park Service to spend taxpayers' money to erect the World's Highest Portable Solar-Powered Wheelchair-accessible Toilet. I say tear 'em all down, and send every climber - handicapped or not - up there equipped with plastic bags and pooper-scoopers. Pack it in, pack it out.

*********** Oo-wee. How'd you like to be Firestone? Because of reports of an unusual number of fatal accidents caused by failures of Firestone Tires on Ford Explorers, the company has recalled some 6.5 million tires. (What are they going to do with all those tires? Free all-weather tracks for everybody!) And all this horrendous news is coming at a time when Firestone is running an ad campaign celebrating its 100th birthday. So what does it do now? Some advertising experts say it is stupid to pull the "birthday" ads and allow only negative things to be written and said about Firestone; others say it is cold and callous for a company to be running feel-good ads when at the same time it is dealing with a life-and-death issue. The latter people point out that it is typical after an airplane crash for an airline to pull its advertising for a few days. Others argue that the public sees an airplane disaster as a one-of-a-kind thing, affecting one isolated airplane, while Firestone finds itself having to deal with a we-could-be-next sort of public hysteria.

Now, I don't have Firestone tires, but if that's what Les Schwab had recommended, that's what I'd have bought. I have that much faith in Les Schwab. Les Schwab Tires is just about the best company you would ever want to deal with. It's named for the founder, an old rancher-type guy from Prineville, Oregon, out in cowboy country, who built a chain of tire stores that reflect the sort of straightforward, business-on-a-handshake, leave-your-keys-in-the-ignition dealings that still exist in small-town America. That chain now consists of over 300 stores, in Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Montana, Nevada and Northern California. Several years ago, Mr. Schwab's only son died, and with no one to leave his business to, he decided there was no one more deserving of ownership of his business than his own employees. So for some time now, Les Schwab employees, from managers on down to that young guy fixing your flat, have been part-owners of the Les Schwab Tires. And do they act it! They are friendly and polite, in the small-town Western way of things, and they hustle. When you drive in, somebody drops what he's doing to run over and see how he can help you. If you have a flat, they'll fix it. Free. Even if you've never dealt with them. And when you express shock at this generosity - this seeming waste of valuable employee time -you 'll be told, "just remember us the next time you need tires." Employee morale is high and turnover is low. The point for a football coach is that when you can give your players a sense of ownership - when they believe that it is their team, and not your team - they will bust their butts to do the right thing. And better still - they'll demand the same from their co-owners. Er, teammates.
 
Of course, there's also United Air Lines, the largest employee-owned corporation in the world. It's also quite likely the company most-despised by its customers. In an industry that is not loved, United wins Miss Uncongeniality. United's employees - er, owners - do NOT hustle. Nor, when they screw up, do they smile. They snarl. They act as if you have no other way you can go (which, if you are going to Chicago or Denver, is pretty much true, and if you are trapped onboard a United plane out on the tarmac for an hour or so, is literally true). Here's the amazing thing - United's highly-paid pilots make up its largest group of shareholders; but United has just had to announce the cancellation of more than 1,800 flights in September - because its pilots (owners, remember) refuse to work overtime. I used to fly United a lot - I have over 80,000 United frequent flier miles just sitting there going to waste - but I have flown on United exactly twice in the last year and the way things are, until they change their attitudes - big-time - I wouldn't fly United with a free ticket.
 
*********** Ron Hennig is the new offensive coordinator at Bullitt Central High in Shepherdsville, Kentucky. Bullitt Central went 1-9 last year,but Coach Hennig, who has run the Double-Wing at two other schools, has already made some progress. Opening last Friday against Daviess County of Owensboro, Bullitt dropped a close one, 14-6. Bullitt controlled the ball and the clock for 29 minutes to 19, prompting the defensive coordinator to turn to Coach Hennig up in the press box and tell him, "I'm gonna have to bring some food up here to eat." 

*********** "After the scrimmage we had, all of my coaches are on board with the Double-Wing System. I have one Defensive Coach that is a Head Junior Varsity Coach at a private school in our area. He was a bit uneasy with pulling the guards and tackles, questioning is it possible. But after seeing it done at our level (7-9 year olds) he is a true believer.

"I do remember when I first wrote to you about the offense you said that I should not have a problem teaching the offense. I can tell you this much, with the exception of my backfield, every kid on the team can play every position. The system is so simple to teach, and I am convinced that we will have a successful season. The best piece of advice that you have given me so far is DO NOT LET THE DEFENSE DICTATE YOUR OFFENSE!" Jason Clarke, Pasadena, Maryland
 
*********** How many of you have checked out AskOJ.com yet? Hey, for just $9.95, you can ask O. J. questions. "About anything," I'm told. I'm considering paying the money just to hear how it felt to play for USC and slaughter UCLA, knifing through the heart of the Bruin defense, leaving fallen victims strewn in his wake. I'd like him to tell me about some of those exciting cuts he made. And all those times he drew first blood with a long slashing run. You can also buy O.J. souvenirs. (Gloves? Bruno Magliai shoes?) O.J. told the Associated Press that he even holds out hope that someone will call in with tips to aid him in his search for the real killer. I personally think that the killer is in Florida, and that's why O.J. moved there recently. (Not for a minute do I believe that he moved there because Florida law permits a person to protect a home - not matter how elaborate - from bankruptcy proceedings.) He is there to hunt down the killer of his children's mother. And he is relentless, according to Carl Hiassen of the Miami Herald. "The chase," writes Hiassen, "has led him many times through the labyrynthine fairways of Doral, Kendale Lakes, Melreese and other golf courses... through South Florida's meanest doglegs. The killer can run, but he can't hide... not in the bunkers, not in the rough, not even in the water hazards. Always hot on his trail will be O.J... driven, indefatigable, obsessed from tee to green."
 
*********** *********** As long as you're browsin'... In case you haven't had your fill of Dennis Rodman, for the low, low price of just $24.99 a month, you can subscribe to rodmantv.com and see - live and unedited - all the neat parties 'n' stuff that go on at the dude's party house. Step right up, fellas - show's just startin'.
 
 
August 30 - "When you have a solid team, you don't have to use gimmick plays." Gene Stallings

 

*********** Anybody watch "The Season" last night? Actually, it was a two-part documentary that ran Monday and Tuesday night on ESPN. I missed it on Monday night, but thanks to Coach John Torres of California, who e-mailed me about it, I was able to catch last night's second part. It was filmed last year as a young Pennsylvania high school coach, Mike Pettine, Jr., was in the process of taking his school, North Penn High of Lansdale, to its best record in history. We joined in last night as North Penn, 9-0, headed into its final game against perennial power Central Bucks West. Central Bucks West, also 9-0, was two-time defending state 4A champion, and hadn't lost a game in three years. In fact, Coach Pettine had gone to school at Central Bucks West, and had worked on the C.B. West staff. It goes deeper than that, even: the Central Bucks West coach was his dad, Mike Pettine, Sr., winningest coach in Pennsylvania history. (I know a little of the background here, having worked with a coach in their league, Doug Moister, who ran the Double-Wing at Abington High, back in 1995. Doug is a good coach and a good man, but he didn't have close to the material, the facilities, or the community, parental or administrative support of C. B. West or North Penn; yet he always put a tough team on the field, and in 1997, he gave C.B. West their only scare of the season, controlling the ball for a little over an entire period. It is a matter of some pride to me that Mike Pettine, Sr, asked Doug to show him the wedge play.) "The Season" was really well done, with plenty of real football stuff - on the field and behind the scenes - to satisfy us hard-core coaching types, and just enough of the daily life of the kids and their parents, and just enough of the Pettine father-son story to throw a bone to those who aren't so hard-core. Although people may have been shocked by the number of the kids' F-bombs that had to be bleeped in the pre-game locker room, I was nonetheless impressed by their fiery passion (which many apathetic, laid-back West Coast kids would benefit from seeing), and by the kind of leadership shown by North Penn's senior captains, who called every teammate the night before a game ("bed check," they told them). Those kids cared. I also was moved by an interview with the father of North Penn's star running back, Hikee Johnson. Mom had moved the family to Pennsylvania to get Hikee away from the bad influences of the Newark, New Jersey neighborhood where they'd lived. Didn't want him to wind up like his dad. Under prodding by the interviewer, she reluctantly admitted that Dad was in a New Jersey prison. Dad, as it turned out, was released just prior to his son's season-ending game (in case you hadn't noticed, I'm not going to tell you how it all turned out, because ESPN reruns everything), and after the game, he sat at the dining room table looking in amazement at his son, sitting there next to him. It had been a long time since he'd seen his "little boy," and, visibly moved, he turned to the camera and said, "this football thing is just a plus for me - because he's a man."

 

*********** Toward the end of the show, a Philadelphia TV guy was interviewing one of the North Penn players. I could tease you and ask you if you knew who the TV guy was, telling you that he played for BYU and the Eagles. But I won't. Does the name Vai Sikahema ring a bell?

*********** "IT TAKES A SET" - Okay - Since so many people have been asking what that means... When I first took my Double-Wing system "on the road," I travelled back to Abington, a suburb of Philadelphia, to help my friend, Doug Moister, who had decided on my say-so that he wanted to run the offense. Abington played in Pennsylvania's largest classification (4-A) in the very tough Suburban One Conference. After a week of installing and looking at this crazy-looking offense, we finally got ready to battle-test it in a scrimmage, and he began to show just the slightest bit of "buyer's remorse." As he looked out onto the field at the team running through the plays he said to me, "you know... it takes a set of stones to run this offense, doesn't it?"

*********** In our age of bland, say-nothing interviews, Dan Giancanola, placekicker for the Canadian Football League's BC Lions, had some pretty strong things to say about his former coach in Toronto, John Huard. The question? "There's been a lot of talk about Huard and his coaching tactics. Can you comment on the environment between the team members and the coach? Should Toronto fans be worried?" Giancanola's answer: "Definitely. The fans should be worried. The man is what the media says. He treats his players in a military style. I was back there for a few weeks. The guys had blank stares on their faces. I feel for them. You do what you have to so that you can put food on the table. I hope he cools down a little bit." (Coach Huard became the first coaching casualty of the 2000 pro football season last Friday when, after a 51-4 drubbing by the B.C. Lions in front of only 11,350 angry spectators in the Skydome, he cleaned out his desk and "resigned," leaving behind a 1-6-1 record in his first year as Argonauts' head coach. )

 
*********** "Once I was traveling from Gulfport, MS to Mobile, Al. It was pouring rain when I arrived at the Ramada Inn of Mobile. I was on line waiting to be served by the concierge (in Alabama?). While I was on line, I glanced at a newspaper box only to notice that it was the day that Paul "Bear" Bryant had died. (I guess it is an historical event down there akin to the Kennedy assassination or the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster, as in "Where were you when you learned...") Anyway, as I moved up in line for service to register, I noticed the young lady behind the front desk was working under extreme duress, so much so she was practically sobbing as I approached the counter. Trying to lighten her and my own soggy burden, I remarked, "You would not believe the day I had," to which she responding through the tears and tightness of her throat, 'You didn't have half the day Alabama did!'" Scott Russell, Sterling, Virginia
 
*********** "I check out your web page every day for tips. I especially enjoy your editorial comments -- in particular the piece about Eddie Robinson who is in fact one of my role models, not just as coach but as a human being. By the way, I am of southern white/American Indian/Irish, etc., etc. descent. It's too bad more of our politicians don't conduct themselves with the character and grace of Eddie Robinson and those like him." Eddie Hughes, North Fulton Knights, Atlanta, GA 

*********** Aw, c'mon, Dad. Let the kid play. Last week, a 17-year-old La Center, Washington (does that name ring a bell?) kid pumped 10 bullets into his parents' bedroom as they slept. He said he did it "just to scare them," but he didn't even awaken them. Which is fortunate, because if they had sat up, a deputy sheriff said, he'd have killed them. Seems he was upset with his father, according to court documents, for not letting him play football. Now, one guy I feel happy for in this whole episode is John Lambert. John, a former student and player of mine and an assistant to me at La Center High, is now the head football coach there. No telling what might have happened if the kid had been allowed to play - and then John didn't let him play quarterback. 

*********** Other than being among America's college football coaching elite, what do Bobby Bowden, Mike DuBose, Dennis Franchione and R. C. Slocum have in common? Since you'd never guess, I'll have to tell you - they have all made contributions to George W. Bush's campaign.
 
*********** "Noticed you made mention of the oddly named mascots of Oregon's two main university football teams. Just you let you know, my high school alma mater is Baytown Robert E. Lee High and we are the Ganders. When we played in the rain our fans would chant: "Gander weather, Gander weather, quack, quack, quack!" Whit Snyder, Baytown, Texas (Whit also ventured a guess as to what might happen at Texas A & M if two fellas were to kiss after an Aggie TD, and I'm inclined to agree with him, but I'd better not say.)
 
August 29- "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." Seen on a Tee-shirt at Venice Beach

*********** The Xtreme Football League has come up with some Xcellent, violent-sounding names for some of its teams, Xcept that many of them have already been taken, by somewhat less-violent sports such as soccer. Get ready for all the Xcitement of watching the Birmingham Thunderbolts, Chicago Enforcers, Las Vegas Outlaws, Los Angeles Xtreme (Wow! Talk about original), Memphis Maniax (that'll go over big with mental-health advocates), New York-New Jersey Hitmen, Orlando Rage (Hey! You! Who you lookin' at?) and San Jose Demons. It is said that some genius in Birmingham wanted to call the team the Birmingham Blast, until someone with a working knowledge of local history spoke up. ("Hey - didn't four little girls get killed in the bombing of that black church back in 1963?" " Didn't somebody get killed in that abortion clinic bombing back in 1998?") Hey, guys. We're talking Birmingham. It's a football town. "Football Capital of the South" is what it says across Legion Field's upper deck. It doesn't matter what they call their team. You could call them the Birmingham Fairies" for all that town cares; turn on those lights at Legion Field and 30,000 people will show up just on the chance there might be a football game going on.

*********** Those "clicks" you have been hearing all over the country were all those constitutional scholars at Penn State, the ones who had been maintaining that Rashard Casey was innocent until proven guilty (primarily because they thought he was indispensible to the Lions' success), switching back to the position Penn Staters used to hold about that sort of thing (primarily because he sucked on Sunday against USC). After watching the Trojans kick his team's butt Sunday, Joe Paterno had this to say about Casey - whom the coach has steadfastly defended in the face of charges that he and another guy beat an off-duty police officer senseless outside a night club, and who had just finished a "get that guy outta here" performance: "He had a tough preseason. Now that he has this out of his craw, he can come home and have some fun." Uh, Coach Paterno - isn't his idea of "havin' fun" exactly what got him - and the Penn State idea of right and wrong - into all this doodoo in the first place?

*********** Lee Corso, who correctly predicted before last season that Florida State and Virginia Tech would play for the national title, may be pressing his luck by going for two in a row, but he insists Florida State will repeat, this time against Kansas State. Both are now 1-0.

*********** California seems to have detected some correlation between literacy and crime. The more there is of one, the less there is of the other, or some such theory. (It probably took a 10-million-dollar, taxpayer-funded study to discover this.) So the state is pushing programs in its prisons to teach inmates to read and write. And when they get out, having finally discovered the joy of reading, will it be a parole violation if they don't pay their overdue book fines at the library? 

*********** A good friend got himself on the wrong side of an AD (happens to the best of coaches) and found it in his best interests to resign. And when his wife was offered a job in another part of the country, he decided to go along and look for a coaching job there. He found one, and here is a report: "This season has been the most discouraging situation I have ever experienced. I have found myself thinking back and wishing I was putting up with (my old AD's) crap again... The defense is coached by this one guy. The defense has NEVER had a period of individual group time. Yet we still practice for at least 3 hours a day.... Here is a typical practice day. Run 2 or 3 laps around the baseball field. I stepped it off, around the fence is 600 yards, so they are jogging 1200 or 1800 yards right before practice. This takes about 15 or 20 minutes. Then we stretch for 25 minutes including push-ups and sit-ups that if the players don't stay in unison they do the whole set over again. This sometimes lasts for 15 minutes by itself. Then we stand around for 5 minutes or so waiting for the coach to tell them what to do. Then we run sprints. 100 yard pursuit sprints 2 or 4 per day. Then we stand around for 5 minutes or so waiting for the coach to tell them what to do. We break into "down there" and "up here." "Up here" catches passes and goes over run plays. "Down there" runs through the chutes, which are homemade (not something to complain about) but the legs were cut down to where the top of the chutes are just above my waist. There are kids who can't even fit underneath the chutes. But when I suggested to raise them up, 'no we want them to stay low, even if they have to bear crawl.' Then we hit the sled for 15 minutes or so. I have tried to set up drills for the session, but the same guy who runs the defense was/is the offensive line coach and tells me, "well we won here last year, let's just keep things the same." So we stand around for 5 minutes or so waiting for him to set up drills that I do not know and he's not telling me what we are going to do. He teaches that you put your head in the middle of the body of the person you are going to block. I spend most of my day telling kids one on one the right thing to do, in my opinion, so they can have success and not put themselves in danger. On some days we go over defense during this time. We tackled for a total of 3 sessions, for the whole year. But the drills are exactly the same for defensive days as they are for offensive days.
 
"I have seen unethical things being taught. Here is a quote from the Head Coach. "You can't cut someone who is being blocked already, that is only for when I tell you we want someone out of the game." I saw a kid make a mistake in the scrimmage and a coach pushed his clipboard into the face of the kid. The players have told me that the Head Coach hit our QB in the head with a helmet when he was a sophomore, granted the kid is his nephew but the fact remains, you just don't do that to someone. These are the major incidents, there is a lot of little things like when a kid makes a mistake they shout his name(in the scrimmage) and then yank him out and don't put him back in. How is he going to learn from that? No attention to detail, stances are terrible, aside from the defensive players not knowing what their keys are. Finally the language they use around the kids, and that they allow the kids to use is awful. They say F*** this and F*** that to the kids. I always try when I hear the kids use it, to say "show some class".
 
"Well. I know I have written too much already and I did not mean to burden you with this crap, but I thought you would be interested in where I have landed and what I have seemingly fell into. I have no problem with you putting this on your news page. If there is a support group for coaches in bad positions please let me know."
 
*********** Master motivator: The coach of the Bellaire, Texas Little League team was caught last week by a hidden ESPN2 microphone in a "conference" with his pitcher. His words of wisdom for the 12-year-old? "I can throw harder than you're throwing, left-handed." (Hey - the kid pitched his way out of the inning.)
 
*********** DIRT FROM DOWN UNDER- From my son, Ed, who works in TV sports in Australia: "Here's a great story for you from Channel 7, the Olympic broadcaster. A woman named Tracey Holmes is one of the Olympic TV hosts, probably the #2 host. A guy named Stan Grant is the host of "Today Tonight'' a tabloid-type show. They worked together on coverage of the Olympic torch relay. A few weeks ago, Stan left his wife and 2 kids to move in with Tracey (who's single). The Sydney papers - particularly the Murdoch-owned Telegraph - had a field day with the affair ("Stan's Holmes Wrecker," "Keeping The Torch Lit," etc etc).

 "Kerry Stokes, who owns Channel 7, called the two into his office and supposedly said 'I don't care who you're sleeping with...I just don't want to read about it' and offered the two of them lesser positions. They said no and he fired them both!

 "The upshot for Channel 7 is not only will they have to fill Holmes' position, but her face has to be removed from every billboard, bus, media guide and poster in Sydney!"

 
*********** Bet the farm on Alpha Gore. Why do I say that? I say that because last week I heard a bunch of ditzy women call Rush Limbaugh's show (don't know what they were doing listening to a conservative radio talk show instead of watching their soap operas) to say that they have decided to vote for ole Al, and what did it for them was that deep, passionate, soulful kiss he gave ole Tipper on national TV at the convention. ("As if she were an intern," joked my favorite comedian, Mark Russell.) I am not kidding. The liplock that locked up the airhead vote. Meanwhile, 3,000 miles away in North Carolina, while Mom & Dad were engaged in foreplay onstage in LA, 17-year-old Albert Gore III was getting picked up for doing 97 in a 55. Claimed he was on his way to the airport to fly home to D.C. ("Hey- party at Albert's - his parents are out of town for the whole week!") Remembering the way Bill Clinton's philandering actually increased his popularity among us non-judgmental Americans, the kid, by his conduct while the folks are away, has probably helped Dad nail down the enormous irresponsible parent voting bloc. Combine that with the airheads who are still tingly from The Kiss, and that ought to be just about enough to put the ole plowboy from the hills o' D.C. over the top.
 
*********** "Coach Wyatt, I saw your blurb on the USC Gamecock football program in your news today (Monday). As you probably know, I am a huge South Carolina Gamecock fan, and I would have to say that there aren't many teams with the kind of undying fan loyalty of South Carolina. I happened to be a student during the most successful year in school history (10-2). I remember, like it was yesterday, our 9-0 record, #2 national ranking, and total meltdown at Annapolis. If I think about it too long I still cry. Anyway, our fans are loyal to the end. Season tickets are sold out again (I have 16 myself) and when "2001: A Space Odyssey" booms in the stadium this Saturday, over 80,000 fans will go nuts, once again reviving the dreams of glory in the hearts and souls of fans and athletes alike. Do we really believe that this will be the year of greatness and positive national recognition for our program? No. But we do believe that those young men will go out and give everything they have, for every minute of every game, and, regardless of the outcome, we will be right behind them, dreaming and hoping, till the last second, that they will find a way to come away victorious. Still dreaming," Jody Hagins, Mt. Pleasant, South Carolina
 
 
August 28 - "If critics could write, they'd write. But they can't, so they're critics." Tom Clancy

 

*********** Shocked by the cancellation of last night's Virginia Tech-Georgia Tech game? Who wasn't? It takes a lot to make officials postpone a major football game. (Remember last year, when the eastern half of North Carolina was devastated by flooding, and East Carolina somehow managed to improvise and play a "home" game at North Carolina State's stadium?) Just one more reason why TV people love football. When they schedule and promote a football game and then send out the crew and the equipment, they can count on 3+ hours of programming. They don't normally worry about a rain delay or a first-round knockout.

*********** Jim Sinnerud has coached football at several high schools around the US. He's not coaching this year, but he's teaching, and he's getting ready for the first day of classes at Creighton Prep, in Omaha. Jim is a Jesuit priest and my very unofficial "theology consultant"; actually, I value Jim's views on a wide variety of topics, including religion, football, education and life itself. I certainly respect him as a teacher, and I may have mentioned once how careful Jim is at the start of every school year to outline his rules and expectations for his kids. I have always been a believer myself, as a teacher and a coach, in doing the same thing, even to the point of showing my teams a video on the subject, and I'm always interested in others' ideas. Jim told me once that he eliminated the minefield of bookbags that you find in the aisles of most classrooms by telling kids that there are two places for bookbags in his room, and two places only: (1) on the floor against the back wall; or (2) on the floor against a bookbag that's on the floor against the back wall. He wrote to me about getting ready for this school year: "Come Monday I'll be telling my kids where I want them to put their bookbags. We're about to crank it up. In the past--after they've gotten to read me and I know them better--students have humorously told me that they're a bit scared or intimidated during those first couple days when I go over my "ground rules" to make sure everyone's on the same page. They remind me that no one says anything during and for a short while after that time. They don't really know what to expect until they have a little more experience of me, but it's clear to them that prudence is the better part of valor. I don't think that my manner is mean or rough or frightening, but I do try to be cleanly and unambiguously firm about the way "we" are going to enjoy each other's presence. But, at the beginning, especially, a little fear can be salutary, anyway, I've always felt. As the semester moves on we do joke and have fun, but they seem to be aware it's on my terms. As I tell them in the course of it all, 'I am not interested in setting up a dictatorship here, probably more of a benevolent dictatorship. Be alert for what I want and act accordingly.' My opening line of my first ground rule is, 'You are responsible for everything that goes on in class, whether you are here or not.' Then I proceed to explain to them that when I've told the class something--a test date, a revision of class matter, whatever, etc.--I've done my job. If they weren't here, it's up to them to get the information from one of the other students in the class. Don't ask me. I am one and you are 25 and I may confuse your class with another to whom I said something different. That way I'm not running after my tail trying to bring someone up to speed when I may inadvertently omit something. Then I'd get the timeless response, "But YOU told me that . . . ." And pretty quick others in the class are riding you double. Way back early in my teaching career I decided I was not going to teach grade schoolers. I profoundly despise babying high school kids. The ball looks so much better in their court than mine. It so often happens, too, that while the kids see my game face, I'm smiling and laughing on the inside. When it's all said and done, they're great."

*********** Best fans in the country? I dunno, but South Carolina's have got to be in there somewhere. The Gamecocks have the nation's longest losing streak right now, yet game after game, without fail, 78,000+ show up in Williams-Bruce Stadium to watch them play. What will it be like when they win?

*********** Killer beavers? I used to joke about Oregon's college nicknames. I mean, Ducks? Beavers? Well, somehow, the Oregon Ducks have managed to overcome the lack of ferocity in their mascot to become a Pac-10 power, and based on some of the things I've been reading about beavers lately, well... First I read about a single beaver in the Willamette (pronounced "will-AMM-it") River in Portland who has been killing trees by the hundreds along the riverbank, gnawing off their tasty bark as fast as they can be planted to control erosion. And then I read an article in the Saint Paul Pioneer Press about real "beaver power." Listen to this: Beaver dams can be quite a nuisance, causing washed out roads and flooded fields, so Richard Rossett, in Embarrass, Minnesota, was trying to remove a beaver dam from the Embarrass River. In the process, he fell into the river, and contracted leptospirosis, which is caused by beaver, uh, "droppings" in the water. "It was the worst three weeks of my life," Mr. Rossett told the Pioneer Press. Elsewhere in Minnesota, Hartley Sandstrom, who worked with his county's Public Works Department, was also attempting to remove a beaver dam. He, also, fell into the water. And he, also, came down with leptospirosis. He had never taken a single day of sick leave in 30 years, yet he became so sick his doctor took a look at him in the hospital and said, "you're a dead man." (How's that for being positive?) He surprised the doctor, though, and recovered, but he hasn't worked since. Beaver power? Several pets are believed to have died after exposure to beaver-contaminated water. "Even the ducks don't land in the water," said Mr. Rosett. "I'm actually getting scared of the beavers."
 

*********** A kid in Gaston, Oregon, where I first coached high school football, was killed early Tuesday morning, just after celebrating his 16th birthday. He was a passenger in a car when a truck coming in the opposite direction hit an elk, sending it flying. It landed on the hood of the car, breaking the windshield, collapsing the roof support on he passenger's side, and crushing the roof. I don't know if you've ever seen an elk, but those suckers are big. Police estimated this one weighed between 1200 and 1500 pounds.

 
*********** The overall TV ratings of NFL preseason games are down 21 per cent this year. Last Monday night's Green Bay-Miami game had a puny (for Monday Night Football) 7.7 rating, compared with the 8.8 rating earned the day before by CBS' telecast of Tiger Woods' PGA playoff win over Bob May. One TV genius offers this explanation: "people are realizing that preseason games are absolutely meaningless." Well, duh. What's taken them so long?
 
********* BYU got handled by Florida State Saturday. But if it weren't for Lavell Edwards, BYU wouldn't even have been there in Jacksonville, 2,000 miles from Provo, Utah. Years ago I saw BYU play at Oregon State. There was a small handful of BYU fans tucked into a small section of Parker Stadium (It's now Reser Stadium - donate enough money next winter and they'll rename it for you), but they made a lot of noise. I looked at them and remembered thinking about what an acquaintance who is a member of the LDS (Latter-Day Saints) Church had said - some day, we'll be a football power like Notre Dame - and I chuckled. Right. But evidently, Coach Edwards believed it - in fact, maybe he's the guy who started that talk - because doggone if the guy didn't go and do it. Coach Edwards, now 70 years old, recently announced that this year, his 29th as head man at BYU, will be his last. Coach Edwards came in with a losing record as a high school coach, but in his first season at BYU he shocked the WAC, taking a team picked to finish dead last in the conference to a 7-4 record. Since then, he's won a national championship, and now he needs only four wins to pass Tom Osborne and move into sixth place among all-time winngest coaches. He did it by junking the veer offense he inherited and developing a passing attack - and a string of quarterbacks, including a guy named Ty Detmer who won a Heisman Trophy and a guy named Steve Young who didn't - that brought fame to BYU and made Cougar Stadium the place to be on Saturday afternoons for 65,000 rabid BYU fans. In one sense, you could say that BYU is at a recruiting disadvantage, since so many young LDS church members - BYU's natural recuiting base - customarily serve two-year Church missions right after high school. But Coach Edwards' program has turned this seeming disadvantage into an advantage, since when those young men do return from their missions, they are more mature than the average college freshman and ready to get serious about football and about life. Reminiscent in some ways of the days following World War II when the veterans returned to college and college football, there are far more married men on the BYU squad than one would find at most colleges. Another side benefit of the LDS missions has been the Church's spread throughout the Pacific, and the many excellent football players from Tonga and Samoa that have played at BYU. One of Coach Edwards' proudest accomplishments: "People around the country know who BYU is." 
 
*********** Just another reason not to go to a baseball game. At a recent Dodgers' game, two women kissed. Somebody complained. Security - those brutes! - escorted the lessies out. They complained. And now the Dodgers, either afraid of losing their large lesbian following or, more likely, a lawsuit, have agreed to make good by giving them two seats behind home plate at another Dodgers game, getting sensitivity training for their employees, and donating 5,000 tickets to gay and lesbian organizations. Now, it's been a while since I've been to a major league baseball game - and likely to be a while longer before I do - but I've seen hundreds of games, and I can't recall ever seeing anybody kiss. At a baseball game? Now, football is different. At Texas A & M, it is long-standing tradition that a guy gets to kiss his date after every A & M score. (Wonder what would happen in College Station if a couple of guys were to kiss after an Aggie touchdown?)
 
*********** If I give you the score, will you please stop calling me? My phone has been ringing off the hook with people wanting to know who wo the big game, so here it is: The Mississippi Fire Dogs defeated the Portland Prowlers, 53-48, Saturday night to win the championship of the Indoor Professional Football League, before "an announced crowd" (that's the Portland Oregonian's way of saying they doubt it was that big) of 4,498.
 
 
August 25 - "Brutality and foul play should receive the same summary punishment given to a man who cheats at cards." Theodore Roosevelt, talking to the presidents of Harvard, Yale and Princeton about making football less deadly (see below)

 

GOOD LUCK TO ALL YOU GUYS WHO OPEN YOUR SEASON THIS WEEKEND!

 

 
THIS WEEK'S TRIVIA ANSWER: This photo was taken while TOM NUGENT was head coach at Maryland, where he served from 1959 through 1965, compiling a record of 36-34. (He was succeeded at College Park by Lou Saban, who lasted exactly one year before moving on.) Coach Nugent came to Maryland from Florida State, which was not then the power that it is today. In fact, Coach Nugent played a major role in Florida State's transition from a formerly all-female institution: he also served as Florida DState's athletic director, and it was during his tenure there that FSU first played Florida. Before Florida State, he was head coach at Virginia Military Institute (VMI) where he is credited with having invented the I-formation, in 1949. A 1950 VMI upset of mighty Georgia Tech earned Nugent and his formation some recognition in the South, but it was not until Bernie Crimmins, a Notre Dame assistant, visited VMI the following spring that the I-formation became nationally famous. Coach Nugent later recalled that he actually staged a spring game just for the benefit of Coach Crimmins. Crimmins returned to South Bend with films and notes, and the Irish' successful use of the I that fall, at a time in those early days of television when Notre Dame was on the tube almost weekly, brought the formation to the nation's attention. Although it became identified with Notre Dame, Irish coach Frank Leahy wrote an article giving full credit for the invention to Coach Nugent. It was a "Stack I" from which Coach Nugent's teams frequently shifted into more conventional pro sets. Hank Stram's "Offense of the Future" with which he won a Super Bowl would seem to have owed a lot of its inventiveness to Coach Nugent. I copied the Chiefs and ran quite a bit of the Stack I in the early 70's, often shifting in and out of it but frequently running from it. Later, I found it to be a useful gimmick as part of my Delaware Wing-T offense, and so it wasn't that difficult for me to install it as part of the Double-Wing attack when I saw what a California Coach named Jerry Pugh was doing with it. (It's shown and explained in Dynamics IV.) Coach Nugent may also be the first coach to use what he called the "typewriter huddle." (You may be using the typewriter huddle yourself, without even knowing it. It was one of the first open or "amphitheatre" huddles, in which the entire team lines up in two rows facing the QB, the front row leaning forward so the top row can see over it, creating a look (if you are creative enough to see it), something like a keyboard. It was a big break from the closed huddle that everyone back then thought you had to have. I recall first seeing Notre Dame use an open huddle in the early 50's, and it is possible that Frank Leahy got that from Nugent, too, at the same time as he got the I-formation from him.) Coach Nugent, a native New Englander, was truly inventive. I lived in Maryland while he coached there, and I can remember several occasions on which he ran a cross-country pass (a la the Tennessee Titans) on a kickoff return. He was the nemesis of Clemson's crusty old Frank Howard. They were polar opposites, and he used to drive ole Frank nuts with his wise-ass Yankee banter and his offensive trickery. Coach Howard once derisively mentioned having to prepare for Maryland's "high school offense," and when Coach Nugent was informed of what Coach Howard had said, he retorted, without missing a beat, "well, when you're playing against a high school team..." Tom Nugent truly was a coach with "Stones."

 

IDENTIFIED BY: Adam Wesoloski- De Pere, Wisconsin... Mark Kaczmarek- Davenport, Iowa... Jack Tourtillotte- Boothbay Harbor, Maine ("Years ago when I first started coaching I bought one of those books of coaching articles and found an article on the I-formation by Tom Nugent. His picture was included in the article which as I remember was very well done. We incorporated the Isolation and the off tackle power play from the stack I and not surprisingly were fairly successful.")... Kevin McCullough- Lakeville, Indiana (one of my favorite books is "Best of Football from the Coaching Clinic",1967. in it there is an article where Coach Nugent is credited with being the father of the "I". it also mentions the "typewriter huddle" but does not go on to explain. Is this a form of no-huddle he used?").... Whit Snyder- Baytown, Texas... Sam Knopik- Moberly, Missouri... John Reardon- Peru, Illinois... Mike Benton- Colfax, Illinois... Pete Smolin- Pasadena, California... Bert Ford- Karlskoga, Sweden...

*********** A Utah youth coach, who described how a couple of old-time coaches scoffed at our "pansy" method of teaching tackling, wrote in just two days later with this: "I am sorry to report another sad situation, another nail in the coffin to 'our beloved game'. My wife is an RN at (name withheld) Hospital. She came home from work the other day with an unbelievable but true story. A 12 year old boy had been admitted with severe abdominal trauma. My wife spoke with the parents about the cause of the injury. They said he was injured in a tackling drill in an organized youth football league. The tackler, also only 12, had a fierce collision, leading with his head into the abdominal area of the injured boy. The boy apparently lay on the ground writhing in pain as the coaches told him to shake it off as he had probably just had the wind knocked out of him. He lay on the ground crying for the rest of the practice, while the coaching staff continued practicing. When the parents came to pick him up he could not even get up to walk. They carried him to the car and took him to a local Instacare. They took a quick exam and called for an ambulance to get him to (my wife's hospital). He was taken into surgery where they had to reconnect his ileum at the lower end of the stomach to his colon. This boy won't play football again, and in fact, as of last night the surgeon wasn't sure the boy would ever be able to eat normally again. My wife asked the mother what the coach had to say about all this, and his response was, 'accidents are going to happen in football.' One of the first things out of my mouth as I start coaching a youth team every year is, 'You must not lead with the top of the head or the cage!' I enforce it religiously. If that coach had done the same, chances are good the 'accident' wouldn't have happened. The second disturbing thing was to let the boy lie there for some time, in much pain, and not get him medical attention. By the way, the tackler was lucky he didn't have any spinal cord compression injury as a result of having his head down. As you have said, these guys either must be taught or driven away from coaching youth football. I am going to approach our conference president about a mandatory training for all coaches, as part of certification, on teaching safe tackling technique. Perhaps with your permission we can show your 'Safer and Surer Tackling' video." (Permission granted. It is this sort of stuff that led President Theodore Roosevelt to call in the presidents of Harvard, Yale and Princeton, then the most influential of the football-playing colleges, after the 1905 season, in which 18 players were killed and 159 seriously injured. Teddy Roosevelt was no "pansy" - once, while making a speech, he was shot by a would-be assassin but waited to get attention until he had finished the speech. He informed them that they were going to have to eliminate the more dangerous aspects of the game. Or, presumably - such were the powers of President Roosevelt - he would ban the game. In the case described above, I can just picture a trial lawyer somewhere, realizing that he'll be able to afford that vacation home after all.)

*********** John Torres, whom I admire as a football coach, is without a team this year, owing to a job promotion that required him to relocate from Los Angeles to I-won't-say-where. (Here's why): "Coach - A couple of weeks ago I went down to the local youth football practice fields to watch the youth teams play. My wife suggested I go down there to get my coaching fix, yeah right. Anyway, most of the teams seemed well coached except one, the littlest guys on the field. Probably 7-8 years old. Anyway, their bonehead coach had them doing 'bull in the ring' and a bunch of other antiquated drills not seen since the 60's. It was more than I could stand to watch and I went home cursing to myself wondering how many kids this bonehead was going to run off to play soccer. "

 

*********** Amid all the complaints that those mean ole LA police were beating up on poor, innocent "children" outside the Staples Center last week, you might be interested in a couple of the impressions of those "children" by Wall Street Journal writer Tunku Varadarajan, who spent much of his time at the Democratic Convention milling around with the protestors: "In the crowd...stand menacing knots of men in black - in black track bottoms, black hooded tops, black boots, black bandanas over faces, black dirt under fingernails. These are the "Black Block Anarchists," itinerant goons who stalk the land in search of any significant event where representatives of "the system" are gathered. I try talking to some of them, but get only half-baked mantras, half-digested dogma and full-blown political gibberish in response. The state should be 'smashed.' The system should be 'buried.' The destruction of property is 'not violence.' In fact, says one, 'property is violence.'"

Less threatening to property but in its own way just as threatening to "the system" was a Tuesday evening gathering in Pershing Square: "I attend a collective 'kiss-in,' keeping a prudent distance from a contingent that waves 'I'm a Tranny Faggot' placards ('tranny' meaning apparently 'transsexual'). Organized by a group called Queers and Allies, the event is a protest against 'the homophobic Al Gore" and our 'gay- and dyke-hating society.' Gay, lesbian and transgender liberationists call for 'more homo, less phobia,' and declare that 'the gay genocide of AIDS can only be tackled by universal health care.'

"A very angry homosexual excoriates (denounces) the police for 'attacking us when we make love in parks.' (Imagine that. HW) There is also a din raised in favor of 'abortion on demand,' although the prospects for any impregnation here look pretty bleak to me. Finally, a bossy woman in blue overalls bellows the word 'Kiss!' into the microphone, and hundreds of same-sex couples comply gleefully. I am transfixed, for this mass locking of lips makes for compelling, and grotesque, theater."

 

*********** What's this all about? The U.S. Women's Soccer Team held what was described as a "closed-door" match against the Russians in College Park, Maryland last week. Does this mean that the public wasn't invited? Apart from the fact that I would think that with the money they're (over)paying those women, the team could use all the revenue they can get, what in the world is there to hide" I mean, they kick it with their right foot, or they kick it with their left foot or, occasionally, they bounce it off their heads. Unless... you don't suppose... they were in that stadium, behind closed doors, picking the ball up and running with it. And tackling the person with the ball. You don't suppose...

 

***********IMPRESSIONS OF A WARDERING COACH: I happened to be watching a high school team's practice the other day, as the players went through a series of drills at different stations around the field. And I noticed one assistant coach holding what appeared to be a stopwatch in his hand as his kids ran back and forth across the field at his station. Turned out it wasn't a stopwatch at all - it was a cell phone! He wasn't timing anybody! He was punching up a number! On the football field! During practice! And doggone if that guy didn't start to talk on that stupid phone - sometimes even turning his back to the kids so they wouldn't distract him - while his drill was going on. Occasionally, he would interrupt his phone conversation to yell words of encouragement (if you consider "HURRY UP!" to be encouraging) to the slowest kid in the group. For the better part of a half-hour, he spoke on that phone, making, by my actual count, six calls, one right after the other. Now, I'm sorry, but that guy obviously was NOT focused on the job of coaching. He was putting something else ahead of football. If you're coaching for me, there had better not be anything that comes ahead of football while you're out on that field. That practice field is our office! It's our operating room! It's our canvas! It's sacred! If there's a family emergency, then you shouldn't be on the field. You belong with your family. If there's a serious problem on the job that requires your attention, then you need to be there. A few years ago, I had an assistant who had a rather responsible job - he supervised all the Portland-area Domino's stores for the franchise owner. Things could get a little crazy for him around dinner time, which also happened to be when we were practicing. Our understanding was that if he ever got a call about something urgent, he might have to leave practice. Once or twice in his entire time with me, he did. But he never used a cell phone on the field. He had more respect for our practices than that. C'mon, you head coaches out there - why should we expect any less from a coach than we do from a player? How can we expect our kids to give the job their undivided attention if our coaches won't? We're not fooling those kids. No one - player or coach - should step on that field unless he is totally focused on the job at hand. You said you wanted to be a coach? Then prove it. Act like one. Leave that cell phone in the coaches' office or in your car. Save those very important calls for a better time, like when you're weaving in and out of traffic at 70 miles an hour, or sitting in a crowded movie theatre (just kidding). Oh - the best part of Cell-Phone Charlie's act was when he paused in the middle of one of his calls to yell at the players, "I can do two things at once." Now, I'm still enough of a wise-ass that if I were one of those players, I'd mutter, "I know talking on the phone is one of them. I can see that. But somebody help me - what's the other?"
 
*********** Scenes from a recent swing through the West... The best Mexican meal I have ever had was at Casa Ramos, in Yreka ("wye-REEK-uh"), California... I hadn't seen Reno in over 10 years, and was shocked to see how much it had grown, and how little it resembled the old, Wild-West town I remembered from earlier visits... The University of Nevada (Formerly Nevada-Reno) has a really neat on-campus stadium, up on a hillside just minutes from downtown... After several days in Nevada, you expect whenever you enter any room to hear the bells and chimes of hundreds of slot machines... There are still long stretches of road in the West where you can set the cruise control to 75 (well, they tell me they'll give you another 10 per cent...) and just enjoy the ride... Twin Falls, Idaho sits at the top of the same Snake River Canyon that Evel Knievel once tried to jump across with his rocket-powered sickle. Look down into the canyon from the bridge that spans it and there on the floor, several hundred feet down, is one of the most breathtaking golf courses you'll ever see... Bil-To-Ki restaurant in Elko, Nevada, serving Basque food family style, is more than a match for any appetite I have ever encountered. For the second year in a row, my wife and I ate there, this time with Wells, Nevada Coach Steve Rodriguez and his wife, Nicole, and here's what the $15.95 "chef's choice" got us (the chef gets to choose, without any help from us, which meat items he wants to serve us, but we sort of hinted to the waitress that we'd rather not have the beef tongue): a huge crock of vegetable soup, bread, baked beans, peas, french fries, salad, basque chicken, breaded cod, lamb shanks, lamb chops... While seated at the table, my wife looked up with a shocked expression on her face, and when I turned to see what she was looking at, there, 700 miles from home, stood John Carver, who was my freshman coach at Washougal, Washington last year. John is a class act. He is the head wrestling coach at Washougal, and runs one of Southwest Washington's top programs. He was visiting a friend who coaches football at Owyhee, Nevada, and he and his friend had driven 96 miles of narrow, winding road down to the big city - Elko, population 15,000 - for a real restaurant meal.

 

*********** A friend in the South, a very knowledgeable coach and Double-Wing afficionado who coaches his school's freshman team, writes, "Because of my knowledge of the Double-Wing I was summoned to the varsity practice to run the scout team against the varsity defense, which had been eating the 'Double-Wing' alive. When I arrived I was told that the scout team was not giving the varsity a good look and they were not accomplishing much defensively. The scout team was running varsity line splits that they use with the Wing T. I went to 6 inch splits and ran the wedge at them. It went for 7 yards. I ran 88 power for 4 yards. I ran 6g for 4 yards. Next was 5 base lead for 3 yards, 47 counter for 15 yards. I went to a pass on the next play and it was Red Red. The banana was wide open, but the receiver dropped the ball. I went with 77 power and 47 counter for 20 more yards. I finished my practice and went home. Nobody said a word to me. I don't think that I was very popular."
 
 
August 24- "Pressure is something you feel when you don't know what you're doing."  Chuck Noll, former coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers, and winner of four Super Bowls  

*********** USA Today's Christine Brennan was all over Anthony Ervin last week. Ervin, on the outside chance that you're not a rabid swimming fan, is a sophomore at Cal-Berkeley who qualified to represent the US in the Olympics by finishing second in the Olympic trials in the 50 freestyle. He is a rarity in swimming in that he is black - actually, being 3/8 black, he is of mixed race - but what gets him in the doghouse with Ms. Brennan - who, if her photo can be believed, looks to be white - is that he refuses to make a big deal of race. See, he won't cooperate with the media types who insist that he be a pioneer. He jusy wants to be a great swimmer and a good guy. Brennan wrote that she asked Ervin what he thought he symbolized to black children who swam, and Ervin, who seems to prefer to live in the America we all once dreamed of, replied that he'd like to be "a role model for just about anybody." So what's wrong with that? Tsk, tsk, went Ms. Brennan. Those poor black kids. "If only they had a role model."

What is this role model crap , anyhow? Why do black kids require black role models? Will those black swimmers sink, now that Anthony Ervin wants to be a role model for all kids? Does this mean that Tiger Woods can't be a role model for white kids? (I won't even bring up the subject of Michael Jordan.)

So while I fumed about this attempt by a white liberal media type to tell a young athlete how to live his life, to dragoon Mr. Ervin into being something other than a top swimmer and a good person, I came across a story Sports Illustrated's Rick Reilly did on Grambling's Eddie Robinson, back in 1985, shortly after Coach Robinson had passed the great Bear Bryant to become college football's winningest coach. There was some concern at the time about how white southerners would "accept" Coach Bryant's being surpassed by Coach Robinson, a black man who spent his entire career at a historically-black college. No big problem, as it turned out. Coach Robinson was enough of a diplomat to know how to handle that one. There was also some talk about placing an asterisk next to Coach Robinson's name in the record book, since his record had not been built against "big-time" opposition. (Or perhaps, in the eyes of some, because it now belonged to a "black coach?") What Coach Robinson had to say on the subject ought to be required reading for all Americans:

"People can do what they want with the record," Coach Robinson told Reilly."They can put an asterisk on it if they want. That's their business. But look, I got my inspiration from all coaches, from college coaches and high school coaches, black and white. I remember Willie Davis would come back and tell me all about Vince Lombardi. Man, that lit fires under me. That got me burnin'. I took my inspiration from the great American coaches - Warner and Stagg. Man, I got to watch the Bear work! And I worked hard, too. I busted my butt. I always knew my part to play, and if my part ended up having something to do with history, then I'm happy. I never let anybody change my faith in this country. All I want is for my story to be an American story, not black and not white. Just American. I want it to belong to everybody."

So answer me this, Ms. Brennan: Why can't we honor the wishes of Coach Robinson, an American coach who wanted his story to be "an American story?" Why can't his story, his record and his career "belong to everybody?" Why can't Coach Robinson be a role model for white coaches? Why can't he be a role model for me? Why not, like Anthony Ervin, for "just about anybody?"

*********** Three of our children went to Stanford. It is wonderful place. It takes great pride in managing rather successfully to combine top-rate academics with a quality athletic program. Last year, Stanford turned down over 1,000 applicants with perfect (1600) SAT scores. It kicks butt in sports like water polo, but it doesn't do too bad in the major sports, either. I am very high on their basbeall coach, Mark Marques, their basketball coach, Mike Montgomery and their football coach, Tyrone Willingham, who is featured in the latest Sports Ilustrated as a potential NFL head coach. Nice article. But guys... check out page 52, and next time you let an SI photographer into your locker room, have someone look the place over first. Maybe he would have noticed the grammatical error in that little threat on the blackboard: "UCLA your next."

*********** ACTUAL VIAGRA AD ON TV: Husband: "We used to make love..." Wife (Interrupting him): "Whenever we wanted." (Me: "What did the people in the 7-11 say?")

*********** This is the time of year when the sport of football takes some of its worst hits in the public eye, and it's got to worry those of us who know the way people use the "brutality" issue against us. It's the early days of football practice, and for some reason, the places where it's hottest and most humid seem to start the earliest. So now we occasionally read of that lone youngster, out of the million or so who are playing football, who collapsed during practice and died of heat-related causes. All too often, it is a death that has nothing to do with football's "brutality" and, possibly, something to do with questionable drills and a lack of proper pre-conditioning of athletes. I have no intention of serving as an expert witness for the lawyers who represent the parents of a young man who dies under such circumstances; the death of a young man is a great tragedy for all, and the acrimony of a lawsuit can only make matters worse.

But guys, I've been reading about big kids - 250 pounds and up - collapsing after having to run long distances - in high heat and humidity. So what was the point? Thise kids aren't built for long-distance running. And football is not a long distance run. It is a game of brief bursts of intense activity, rarely requiring exertion for much more than 10 seconds. When, during a football game, will a kid be required to do anything closely related to 10 minutes or more of sustained physical effort, in the hot sun, without a pause? Is the purpose of such early-season marathons to "test" kids, to see if they've been running all summer? Is it to punish them if they haven't? Is it to weed kids out? I don't know about you, but I can just look at some big kids and tell you right away there is no way they will be able to run any distance. If you are going to require a kid to do something like that, it seems to me that you have an obligation to make sure that he has first been properly pre-conditioned to perform the activity. It is not enough to give him a handout in May telling him that he'd better be ready. We are the adults here, and we know the nature of kids. That kid is not going to be up and out every morning of the summer on a daily three mile run. Junk these distance runs. Pre-condition your kids for football by having them perform drills and run sprints, going hard for fairly short intervals, then give them time to recover after each drill or sprint. Look carefully for the ones who are starting to have trouble. Get them rest, or shade, or water or all three if necessary. Increase the number of drills and sprints at every workout. Before practice officially begins.. We are talking about the future of our game and your future as a coach - not to mention the most important thing of all, the lives of kids we are entrusted with.

(As an example, even though our school district had a no-cut policy requiring us to keep any kid who passed a physical and paid his fees, and our state only stipulated three practice days without pads or contact, I required every player to complete eight pre-conditioning workouts before issuing him pads. We started opening up the gym for workouts three weeks before the official start of practice, and coaches were on hand for morning and evening sessions every day except Sunday. It was not mandatory for players to complete these eight workouts in the pre-season: they knew that they had the option of waiting until football practice officially began, and then doing them early in the morning, before practice. But they also knew that they were not going to be issued gear until they had completed those eight workouts, and that meant they would be behind everyone else until they made up the work. And not too many of them were particularly excited about getting up early and getting in a workout before practice every day, either. Most of our kids figured it out real fast, so when actual practice started, they were prepared for the rigors of football, No one stumbled or staggered or puked out there on the first day. They knew they had paid a price to become a part of things. And, almost as important as the safety factor, because kids who are hot and tired and sore have trouble paying attention, our kids were better able to learn.)

*********** This week's edition of Monday Night Football had its moments. Humor: "The referee has to put in a token to get that thing going," said Dennis Miller, talking about the instant-replay machine. Sucking up: "The great man has come into our booth," said Al Michaels (he really said that), bowing in obeisance to very rich and very powerful former Dolphins' owner Wayne Huizenga. A couple of very strong arguments for doing away with the whole concept of the sideline reporter: Melissa Starke and Eric Dickerson. The perky Ms. Starke, tastefully dressed (that is, if she was auditioning for a place with the Dolphins' Star Brights), chatted away about what Jimmy Johnson is doing these days, right over the action on the field, which happened to be a dropped 4th-and-short Dolphin pass; Dickerson, who got the job with no apparent qualifications and gets worse by the week, should be put on waivers before the regular season starts, and could have spent the evening up in the stands, doing viewers a favor by circulating a petition to give his job to Solomon Wilcots.

*********** I'd heard so much about some supposed "brotherhood" that existed all over the world, uniting American submariners with their Russian counterparts, that I had to call my son-in-law, Rob Tiffany, in Houston. Rob served on a "boomer" - a nuclear missile sub - and was stationed at Bangor, Washington when he met my daughter, Cathy. The job of Boomers is basically to cruise the world's oceans, silently and undetected, keeping us safe by letting the creep nations believe that they are toast if they make a false move against us (unless, of course, they've made a sizeable donation to the DNC). The job of "fast attack" subs, such as the "Kursk," the ill-fated Russian sub in which more than 100 Russian sailors met an untimely death, is to locate boomers, hunt them down, and, if necessary, kill them. I asked Rob if he really felt the kind of "kinship" with the Russians that the touchy-feely commentators said bound all submariners together. Having spent as much as two months at a time underwater, making sure not even to cough too loud for fear of being detected by a Russian fast attack sub such as the Kursk, he was sorry about the tragedy, but he still saw the Russians ("my Slavic brothers," he said snidely) as the enemy.

*********** "Coach W- I enjoyed your comments about the question from another site in regards to gloves. I think I replied to that post by saying that they are as useful as the glove Michael Jackson wears." Dan King, Evans, Georgia

 
August 23 - "Better to make a weak man your enemy than your friend." Henry Wheeler Shaw

*********** "Coach- We started practice this week and we have some big kids. Our 7th and 8th graders average over 200 pounds on the line. In our league, anyone who is eligible to touch the ball must be under 140 pounds. Unfortunately, our linemen are as fast as our backs. Fortunately, we should be able to grind out drives all year long. I don't think we will score as many TD's as last year but I suspect we will win our share. I also think that other teams are going to know they were in a game after playing us.

"I let one of our 5th/6th coaches borrow the DW tape I received last year. He thought it was too complicated for his guys. I explained to him that he just needs to run the base plays and the kids would pick it up easily. A few days later he told me that he had researched the DW on the internet and that his initial assessment was wrong. In other words, I think we got another convert.

"Finally, I talked to the head official of our league and he told me of the difficulty in arranging enough referees for youth games. His view is that youth football is exploding. I told him that I was gratified to hear that. I don't know if you've seen any stats, but it sure seems like youth soccer numbers have levelled off in our neck of the woods. Regards, Keith" (Keith Babb, Northbrook, Illinois)

*********** It appears as though March 31, Cesar Chavez' birthday, will become a state holiday in California. Actually, it sounds more like a clever attempt to suck up to state employees, who pick up another paid holiday at taxpayers' expense. Meanwhile, the late farm workers' family says Chavez himself would have preferred that the money the holiday will cost taxpayers be spent on farm workers, who as it stands now won't be getting the day off. School kids aren't likely to be too excited about their new "holiday," either: they'll be expected to spend the morning learning about Mr. Chavez, and the afternoon performing "community service."

*********** I am not a gun nut. I sometimes worry about the irresponsibility of certain people in possession of guns. But I can't stand the dishonesty in the argument against guns. I can't stand people telling me that gun ownership in and of itself its causing deaths. From 1973 to 1992, gun ownership in the United States doubled. So, if gun owenership is responsible for gun deaths, shouldn't homicides have doubled during that period, too? Instead, from 1973 to 1992 the homicide rate remained stable. And it ticks me off when I keep hearing all this garbage about an "epidemic" of little children being killed in accidental shootings - "10 children every day are killed by guns," blah, blah, blah. (Grandpa's just got to remember put that loaded deer rifle away and stop leaving it on the coffee table.) That's why, you see, we need trigger locks on every gun in America. Dishonesty? Listen to this: according to data from the National Center for Health Statistics, in the early 1970's, fatal gun accidents for children 14 and under averaged about 500 a year. In 1998, the number was down to 121. And for really young kids, aged four and under, the 1998 figure was 19. Hardly an epidemic. W lose more kids than that to bee stings. (I'm not even going to mention swimming pools.) The "epidemic" that the gun-control folks like to tout - the "10 children" that are supposedly killed every day by guns - includes 17-, 18- and 19-year-old "children" in our inner cities, many of them involved in gangs. Few of those "children" are going to be saved by trigger locks, or by any law that makes it tougher for law-abiding citizens to get a gun.
 
*********** A certain William Jefferson Clinton, who seems to enjoy the Presidential toys as much as any President in my memory, is going to be one sad pup when he no longer has Air Force One at his disposal, or presidential helicopters to drop him off at the first tee. To illustrate the power of the Presidency, my son-in-law, Rob Love, in Durham, North Carolina, sent along a great story - said to be true - about President Lyndon Johnson. a man who thoroughly enjoyed the power and prestige of the office. He was about to depart from a military base and seemed to be looking around for his helicopter among a whole fleet of them. "Your helicopter is over here, Sir," said his young aide. "Son," said LBJ, "they's all my helicopters."
 
*********** Portland disc jockey Bob Miller suggests a good way to overcome voter apathy and increase interest in our presidential election: give voters the list of candidates - Buchanan, Bush, Gore and Nader - and tell them the object is to vote three of them off the island.
 
*********** The Royal Lipizzaners, those beautiful white stallions from Austria, world-famous for their graceful leaping and dancing are coming to Reno soon. They will be appearing, so a Reno radio station informed its listeners, "in person." ("Person?")
 
*********** Whit Snyder, a sports writer from Baytown, Texas, wrote me this, as part of a discussion of athletes who were drafted in several sports. He mentioned Dave Winfield, who was drafted in three, but them he hit me with this, exactly as he wrote it:
 
As a senior (1964) at Pasadena High (Eagles) in Pasadena, Tex. (an industrial city south of the ship channel from Houston) Mickey McCarty (6'-7") was an all-district, all-state end as well as a member of Parade Magazine's first all-American prep team in football. In basketball he was an all-district and all-state forward and an all-district pitcher in baseball.
 
His H.S. basketball coach H.G. McGaugh told me Mickey had great speed and could really move the ball down court. He also told me that the big guy was a real gamer. One Friday night in his senior year, Mickey played in a high school playoff game in Houston for the Eagles, scoring the winning TD. Right after the game, Mrs. McGaugh bundled McCarty in her car and drove him about two hours away to Brenham where the PHS basketball squad was competing in the Blinn J.C. Tournament. Not only did Mickey play in the first game of the tourney at 8 a.m. that Saturday, but he also played in the championship game that afternoon and was named the tourney's MVP.
 
McCarty went to TCU where he won five letters, three in basketball (1966-68), two on the diamond (1966-68). Remember, this was when freshmen were ineligible for varsity competition. He was all-SWC in his junior and senior season as a hoopster and all-SWC as a pitcher and outfielder for the Frogs. He is one of the few in SWC history to win all-conference honors in two sports.
 
After college, he was drafted by FOUR teams in the three professional sports: Dallas Chaparrals of the ABA took him in the third round; the Chicago Bulls of the NBA also drafted him as did the Cleveland Indians and the then-AFL Kansas City Chiefs (even though he didn't play a down on the gridiron in college) drafted him in the fourth round (I also believe the Baltimore Orioles offered to sign him out of high school, but I'd need to confirm that).
 
Although basketball was his first love, Mickey doubted he had the stuff to play pro basketball and he didn't want to get caught in the Indian's minor league system so he signed with the Chiefs, reasoning that if he couldn't cut it in KC he'd be cut quickly whereupon he'd sign with the Indians and play baseball (Oh, if we all had those options!).
 
Mickey spent five seasons with the Chiefs. As a rookie in 1969 he was on the active roster as a kick returner and tight end when Hank Stram's bunch beat the Vikes in Super Bowl IV. He spent the next three seasons as a member of KC's Taxi Squad then moved on to the San Diego Chargers for one season. He signed with the WFL's Detroit Wheels in 1974 after retiring from pro ball but never played a down for the team. According to Mickey, he was slated to start in Detroit's first game after the Wheels' regular TE had gone AWOL the week before. However, when the guy showed up in time to dress for the game, a coach told Mick that he was sitting him down in favor of Mr. No-Show. McCarty said he quit on the spot, took off his gear, packed up his apartment and headed for Texas (such was the WFL, from what I hear and recall).
 
Now this alone, and the details between, makes the Mickey McCarty story a very interesting tale but the rest of his life is also rather amazing.
 
By 1981 Mickey was married and working as a sporting goods salesman when he suffered a terrible stroke which rendered the left side of his body paralyzed and his heart badly damaged. He slowly, painstakingly recovered from the paralysis, but by 1986 his heart began to fail and doctors told him he needed a transplant to save his life. Remarkably, only 30 hours after being placed on the list of those needing transplants, a new heart became available to him.
 
Now, if you know anything about organ transplant lists you know that many people on those lists wait for years before finally getting a new organ. Many others die waiting.
 
Doctors at St. Luke's Episcopal Hospital in Houston performed a rare transplant procedure on Mickey whereby they placed the donor heart in McCarty and connected it to his native heart via an artery so that the two hearts could function in concert with one another. The procedure is called "piggy-backing" and Mickey was only the second man in history to undergo the procedure.
 
In 1997 Mickey's doctors discovered that the artery connecting the two hearts was closing and told him they would need to remove his native heart so they could transplant a second foreign pumper in his body. Again Mickey's name went on the transplant list and, only 67 days after landing on the list, Mick received his second heart transplant (the details of how the big guy made it to the hospital in time to collect the heart -- these things don't wait -- are pretty funny). For Mickey McCarty, lightning had struck twice.
 
Because of his condition, Mickey can't work. He lives quietly in Pasadena where his ex-teammates and former coaches remember him fondly as a kind and gentle man as well as a fantastic athlete. He loves his TCU Horned Frogs and follows them faithfully. When I first interviewed him for a story for the Pasadena Citizen about two years ago, Mickey talked a lot about his son, Chance who quarterbacked the Bishop, Texas High School football team and played on the basketball squad as well. "I'd love for him to go to TCU," Mickey told me, "That would just be a dream. But I'm not going to push him. I'm going to let him make up his own mind."
 
I saw Mickey about two weeks ago at Rice Stadium in Houston. We were attending the Texas High School All-Star Football game. He was wearing his favorite TCU baseball cap and watching his son Chance play for the South squad. After I said goodbye, I couldn't help shaking my head at what a charmed life the big guy had led particularly when I recalled that Chance McCarty will be a freshman member of the TCU football team this fall.

 

Now, here's where you readers come in: I promised Whit Snyder that I would ask if anyone else out there knows of any other athlete who has been drafted by four teams!!! Can you help him???
 
***********"Coach; Here is a true testimonial to the double wing. We played a freshman B game tonight (Tuesday night) against a school 2 classes above us and twice our size, Evansville Reitz. We are playing a B schedule because we have a number of freshmen out that aren't getting to play much. The two kids that we played at A back had NEVER touched a football prior to kickoff tonight. Our kids only knew 44 and 55 lead and basic(really only 3 basic). We won 20-8! We didn't keep stats, but I would bet that one kid had close to 200 yards rushing and the other around 100. We kept the ball for 8:50 of the first 9:00 quarter and went 85 yards. In short, we took kids that had very little playing time before tonight and they executed and did a great job. Coach Mitchell said after the game "If people don't believe in this offense now, they never will". Paul Maier, Mt. Vernon, Indiana (I have seen Evansville Reitz; it is on top of a hill overlooking the city of Evansville, and its hilltop stadium is a magnificent thing - one of the more impressive HS stadia I've seen.)
 
 
August 22 - "Every culture is held together by the assumption of a certain level of honesty." Tom Osborne

 

*********** Coach Dan King, of Evans, Georgia, wrote to tell me of Georgia's ingenious attempt to deal with a subject familiar to most high school coaches. "Here is some interesting news concerning athletics in Georgia. This year a new format has been installed for high school athletics. Instead of 4 classifications there will be 5. Private schools who compete with the public schools aka Georgia High School Association will have each student count 1.5. (The divisions are based on student population - class AAAAA, the one with the biggest schools, has some schools with 2200+ students.) This all came about because the Speaker of the House, Tom Murphy, has a daughter-in-law teaching in his home town who could not win the region in debate. The local private school wins the region almost every year. Because of reclassification - the private schools have all been bumped up at least one class - his daughter-in -law's debate team might win the region this year. The state legislature passed sweeping reforms in the area of athletics because of Tom Murphy. There seems to be much resentment toward private schools and the notion that they recruit athletes to play sports. How do folks in your area feel about the private vs public school debate?"
 
Practically everyone who has ever coached a high school sport has found himself (or herself) on one side or the other in the great public school vs. private school debate. In some states, private schools compete in their own classifications, and play for their own state championships. In others, they compete head-to-head with the public schools for the same trophies, the same titles. And in the latter states, they frequently rise to the top. It is a rare year that Joliet Catholic and Mt. Carmel aren't competing for an Illinois state title. Same goes for schools such as Ohio's St. Ignatius of Cleveland or Moeller Catholic of Cincinnati, Nebraska's Creighton Prep of Omaha, Pennsylvania's Bethlehem Catholic, Tennessee's Brentwood Academy, Colorado's Mullen Prep, Hawaii's St. Louis Prep and, of course, California's De La Salle, of Concord, which hasn't lost in anyone's recent memory. There are plenty more.
 
The reason for their success, many public school coaches are quick to tell you, is that they recruit. They scout out the best kids in the local middle schools and Pop Warner and CYO programs, and offer them scholarships. Now, that may be so in some places. My own high school, Philadelphia's Germantown Academy, did that very thing years ago. We had far better teams than a school of our size ought to have had, and I am grateful for the chance it gave me. But there's a lot more to it than recruiting. I spent a year teaching and coaching at Portland's Central Catholic High, and I can tell you that there was no recruiting going on. We competed against public schools under the watchful eye of the Oregon Schools Activities Association, and the OSAA would have nailed us the instant we stepped over the line. This is not to deny that there are recruiting abuses. If there is a problem with recruiting by private schools, it should be within the power of any state federation to solve it. But the most we could do at Central was pay a visit in the spring to local Catholic grade schools, hoping to sell Central to the eighth graders who had their choice not only of the local public school but of two other Catholic schools as well. But once a kid enrolled someplace else as a ninth-grader, he was off-limits to us. This wasn't recruitment of just athletes, by the way - for Central, our mission in those days was survival. We needed to keep enrollment up, so our job was to recruit all the kids in those grade schools, not just the athletes. The trick to whatever success we had at Central, as I reflect on years spent in public education, was that we had good kids whose parents wanted them at Central for lots of reasons other than sports - discipline, academics, values, longstanding family tradition, and so forth.
 
The key word was parents - people at home who had goals and aspirations, who took a real interest in their kids, and saw to it that they respected authority and did what was necessary to succeed within the system. Those parents weren't depending on the taxpayers to keep their kids warm and dry in a public school; they were paying tuition out of their own pockets. And the school had standards and was demanding: it was operating on a shoestring, with a different fund-raiser every month, or so it seemed, and in desperate need of every kid's tuition, yet its administration didn't hesitate for a minute to bounce a kid whose continued presence was not in the best interest of the school or the other kids. And the administration supported its coaches and teachers. Unlike public schools, there were not "two sides" to every dispute over a teacher's grading policy or a coach's decision. Take it or leave it. I recall Father Dernbach, our principal (and a former football player) saying on more than one occasion, "The door swings both ways." I could go on, but the point is that private schools have certain inherent advantages that are unrelated to recruiting. To my mind, if barring them from competition with public schools makes sense, then so, too, does barring well-funded suburban schools in affluent areas - with all the advantages they have - from competing for state titles against less-well-off rural and inner city schools.

 

*********** If I were king, four things working against football coaches today that I would fix immediately are (1) selfish parents who couldn't care less about the team or the other kids on it; who attack any coach who thwarts their ambitions for their own kid or dares to interfere with their own oh-so-busy schedule; (2) spineless school administrators who never strapped one on, and would sell a coach down the river in an instant if it would keep just one of those parents off their back; (3) the tiny handful of unethical coaches - everybody knows who they are - who continue to win while dishonoring the game by the tactics they condone - or teach; and (4) an increasingly-feminized society which continues to demean the manly virtues.

 

*********** For those of you who've only heard about the rain we get in the Pacific Northwest: we had a, hour or so of drizzle last Friday. It was the first rain of any sort we'd had since it last drizzled on July 22. Four weeks without rain. Four weeks of sunny days. Of azure blue skies and low humidity. Four weeks of daytime temperatures in the 70's and 80's. This is not a drought. It's a typical summer in the Pacific Northwest. I am not kidding. Most wonderful summers on the planet. We will get all the rain we need soon enough. You had to ask about the winters, didn't you?

 

*********** A reader wrote in to the San Francisco Chronicle to say that the movie "The Replacements," which is about a team made up of unathletic, poorly conditioned players taking the place of real professionals, was originally going to be called "The 49ers." (After the way the 49ers played the other night, I would take it a little easy on them.)

 

*********** Oregon State is excited about transfer Patrick McCall, a tailback from Carson, California. Along with returnee Ken Simonton, he will give the Beavers a heck of a one-two punch at the position. He sounds like a good guy, too, according to an article in the Portland Oregonian. Comes from a good family. Says all the right things. "I figure as long as it helps the team, as long as we can win, I'll do anything," he told the Oregonian. Well, unless he has undergone quite a transformation, it probably would have been safer to say, "almost anything." Earlier in the same article, we were told that he transferred to OSU from Michigan - because they moved him to cornerback and he wanted to run the ball.

 

*********** Coach Mike Hause of Kalamazoo Christian High was good enough to send me a story about a 15-year-old English kid who twice punched a referee in the face following a game, and as a result has been banned for life from playing organized soccer anywhere in the world. May I suggest to his parents that they slip into the U.S. (through Canada is their best shot) and immediately find a lawyer to file an appeal. I guarantee you that here in the Land of the Second Chance he will be playing again by October.

 

*********** "I bought your "Safer and Surer Tackling" tape last year and switched to your tackling technique. The video is terrific and I wish every youth coach and parent could see it. My 14 year old team was one of the best tackling teams in the league last year.(Also, we were the best offensive team using your Double-Wing) This year I was awarded our district's 11 year old team. The head coach I replaced was upset he didn't get the job because the team did very well. One of the reasons why I got the job instead of him, was that there were numerous parents who complained that most of what they did at practice was hit, lining the boys up as deep as 10-15 yards and with no shields, running straight ahead and making a violent collisions. The former coach pleaded with me to let him help me with the team, stating he was divorced and just wanted to spend time with his boy. Reluctantly I agreed, on the condition that he would buy in 100% to my system and philosophy of coaching young boys. We had 3 days practice without pads, but we did those drills taught in your video tape, with shields, and practicing perfect form tackles. Even when we got into pads, we kept teaching tackling at a slow pace, building the confidence needed to be a good tackler. The kids loved the "pancake" tackle and block, and you could just see the confidence building in even the most inexperienced players. After the fifth night in pads we did work up to the "goal line tackle" and also, the "ricochet" drill. That night I conducted a parents meeting after practice. At the end of the meeting I asked if there were any questions, and one of the parents, who was an assistant on last years' team stood up and asked, "When are you going to start hitting?" Before I could even answer, he went into a diatribe that our team would not be competitive with all of the pansy drills we were doing, with shields between the boys, and landing on pads. When he finished, I responded with the confidence building aspect, and that we would be picking up the pace. Several of the parents came to my defense. No one sided with him. He wasn't through though. After the meeting he and the former head coach cornered me and continued beating on me for my methods. They said that the very first night in pads they lined the boys up at least ten yards apart and sent them colliding with each other. They said that was the only way to determine who was tough. Things got rather heated and I concluded that I would never consider their methods. One of the reasons I hired the former head coach was in hopes of teaching him the right way to coach young boys, if he was ever going to coach again. Obviously he had not lived up to our agreement, so the next day I fired him as tactfully as possible. I'm 53 years old and 165 pounds, he is in his early forties and 250 pounds. He was cocked and ready to flatten me, after calling me every name in the book, but other parents stepped in and pulled him back. What a wonderful display in front of 11 year old boys. I am so glad I fired him instead of letting it fester throughout the season, possibly ruining a potentially good team. Thanks again for sharing your system with me." (Name withheld on request) Coach: I am dedicated to either changing the minds of people like those you describe or running them off. There are still far too many of them in youth football, and they are killing our sport. They are reinforcing the negative impression too many people have of our game, and scaring off kids and their parents. (I address this topic in the Youth football video I'm working on.) Here we are in a struggle for the hearts of kids, and there you are with kids who have chosen to forego soccer and play football, and these idiots want to weed them out with hamburger drills. So they find out who's tough. Big deal. That'll take them all of five minutes. But now, once they've done that, what are they going to do with the kids who aren't tough? That, I hate to tell those meatheads, is what we call "coaching."
 
August 21 - "Success, as I've always determined it, has never been based on number of victories. It's how close we've come to realizing the potential we have, and having the team together." Lavell Edwards, BYU

 

TRIVIA QUESTION: Now that I've spotted you Jim Marshall (article, August 17), can you name the other three Purple People Eaters? (Left)

ANSWER- From Left to Right: 81- Carl Eller; 88- Alan Page; 77- Gary Larsen; 70- Jim Marshall. Although a case could be made for all four, only Page is a member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Alan Page is also a Supreme Court Justice for the State of Minnesota.  Marshall's 282 consecutive starts is an NFL record. Eller was All-NFL five times and played in six Pro Bowls. Larsen played in three Pro Bowls. Correctly answered by: Pete Smolin- Pasadena, California... Tom Hensch- Staten Island, New York (who gave us the whole Vikings defense: "Eller , Page , Larson ; Marshall- I think that's also how they lined up with Hilgenberg, Siemon, Winston at LB and Bryant, Kassulke, Krausse, Wright in the secondary. I think that's close')... Dave Holdiman- Marshalltown, Iowa... Adam Wesoloski- De Pere, Wisconsin... Mark Kaczmarek- Davenport, Iowa (who calls himself "a cheesehead Packer fan.")... Dennis Croskey- Kearney, Missouri... Lou Orlando- Sudbury, Massachusetts... Art Poltrack- Redding, Connecticut... Kevin McCullough- Lakeville, Indiana... John Reardon- Peru, Illinois... Keith Babb- Northbrook, Illinois... Steve Staker- Fredericksburg, Iowa (who writes, "I am a huge Viking fan since 1961. In fact I have two friends who are on the Viking football staff, Carl Hargrave, a former Upper Iowa Peacock and John Kasper asst strength coach, who is on leave at this time training on the USA Olympic bobsled team. He also is a former Peacock and did his student teaching under my watchful eye. The answer to your trivia question is Alan Page, Carl Eller, and the one everyone forgets Gary Larson.")... Joe Daniels- Sacramento, California... Don Davis- Danbury, Texas... Mike Benton- Colfax, Illinois (who writes, "Being a big Vikings fan, I had to answer this. Only Page is currently in the Hall of Fame. I wonder when Jim Marshall, a man who started every game he ever played in from 1960-1979-a record of durability that will probably never be matched, will be enshrined in Canton? Now with the news that he has cancer, he may not be around much longer. Carl Eller also deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. Drug problems in his career that he has since overcome and the fact that he played for a small market team which never won a Super Bowl has kept Eller out. Players like Dan Dierdorf who couldn't block Carl Eller are in the Hall of Fame. Go figure." ...Dan King- Evans, Georgia... Whit Snyder- Baytown, Texas...

 

THIS WEEK'S TRIVIA QUESTION WILL NOT BE SO EASY: This photo was taken while he was head coach at Maryland. He came to Maryland from Florida State (you won't see many people doing that nowadays. but Florida State was not the power then that it is now), and before that he was head coach at Virginia Military Institute (VMI) where he is credited, in 1949, with inventing the I-formation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*********** It's your money, but... Over the years, I have paid thousands in union dues. And received zero in return. Our union, the Washington "cell" of the National Education Association, stood idly by while our state adopted a statewide salary scale, then remained in idle while Washington plummeted from top-ten in average teacher pay to middle-of-the-pack. Not that the Union wasn't doing something. There was always money to build new offices, and to lobby legislators and support political candidates, so long as they were Democrats (and then the NEA whined when Republicans captured the statehouse and didn't support them). And there was always some union publication trying to tell me what my opinion should be on gun control, abortion, gender equity, school prayer, sex education, gay rights, library censorship and so forth, and there was always union (members') money to donate to those causes. And there was almost some union rep standing by to take up the grievance of some sorry-ass teacher who couldn't maintain discipline in her class and would have been canned years ago in any other line of work. But once - just once - when I believed I was wrongfully terminated (still do), when after eight years I was "non-renewed" as a coach and given no reason for the action, the one time I needed help, I was told, "sorry-y-y-y-y-y. There's nothing we can do for coaches." Basically, I was told, you coaches are on your own. So perhaps you'll cut me a little slack when I say I'd like to see the National Education Association - Clinton's and Gore's best friend - stuffed somewhere. Either cut out the "Education Association" crap and be a real, honest-to-God union with stones - the Teamsters come immediately to mind - or leave me and my dues money alone. Did I say "dues money?" Last month, it was reported by the Boston Globe that the NEA "spends 10 times as much of its budget on political activity ($34.7 million) as on ensuring excellence in public education ($3.3 million) or improving professional standards and working conditions for all educational employees ($3 million)." By "political activity," the Globe means that the NEA is one of the largest contributors to the Democratic Party. 356 delegates of the 4,000 or so at the Democratic convention were NEA representatives; no doubt their week in Los Angeles "serving you" was paid for with your dues. In other words, if you are a teacher, that hose sticking out of your back pocket is sucking money fout of your wallet and pumping it into Democratic pockets.

*********** "Coach, I have watched your tackling video several times. I really like it. What I like best about it is that it reinforces many of the ideas and techniques I already use in football. It is nice to know that I am not alone in many of my ideas. I really like the theme of getting kids over the fear of hitting. That has become more of a concern with me over the years. It is strange how one's coaching philosophy changes as they age. Is your defense as good as your offense? Have you ever considered adding defense to your website? Best Regards. Bryan Oney, Norwalk, Ohio" (Coach, my teams don't play bad defense. I guess you could call what we play a "Bluegrass" defense because its roots are in Kentucky, inspired in part by Coach Jimmy Feix and the Split 4 he ran at Western Kentucky and in part by Coach Jerry Claiborne, best known for what he did at Maryland, but who learned his wide-tackle six defense from Coach Bryant while a player at Kentucky and later as an assistant. I will give your idea some thought.)

*********** This weeks "flush 'em" award goes to two UC Davis football players, one of them the likely starting quarterback, suspended for coming up with a unique fund-raiser. Police arrested them for a number of violations, including confronting a couple on the streets of Davis and demanding a $5 donation to the football program. (Kids- don't try this at home!)

*********** My son Ed says his friend, Mike "Gasman" Gastineau, popular Seattle sports-talk host, spent a week with the Seahawks at training camp and had a 20 minute "sit-down" interview with 'Hawks' coach Mike Holmgren. He came away impressed. Said Holmgren's a heck of a nice guy. Very unpretentious.

*********** Twice last week I received the same e-mail from an anxious coach. Eager to get some materials, he had sent his order by Airborne Express, but twice, they had told him it was "undeliverable to that address." Now, FedEx, UPS, the US Postal Service and Domino's Pizza are able to find my place, but not the Airborne Express driver. Finally, after those two abortive tries, we received a call at 7 AM Monday morning from Airborne Express, telling us that the driver "can't seem to find your place." Well, duh. So my wife very politely gave the caller directions. If I had answered the phone, I wouldn't have been so polite. I'd have suggested that the driver on those two earlier missions might have considered doing what my wife always tells me to do when she suspects I might be lost (even though I never am) - get out and ask directions. (Which I never do.) 

*********** Anybody else snicker when the Democrats claimed to be aghast at the idea of holding a fund-raiser at the Playboy Mansion, because Hugh Hefner - get ready for this, you Clinton-lovers out there - "exploits women?"

*********** I spoke on the phone last week with Rich Ottley, coach at Lincoln County High in Panaca, Nevada, and when he learned that I was in Wells, Nevada at the time, he informed me that his team had lost to Wells in last year's semi-finals. He said he suspected he might have a few problems with Wells' Double-Wing when he began preparing for the game. Coach Ottley had actually been running the Double-Wing himself on his JV team, so he figured at least he'd get a good look from his scout team offense. But when his JV's lined up and on their first play ran 2-Wedge, and gained eight yards...

*********** "Coach; We won handily last night 35-0 over Gibson Southern. Had about 380 yards rushing. Almost a perfect night, but we messed up and threw the ball 2 times! Very good game for our kids." Paul Maier, Mount Vernon, Indiana (Coach Maier starts his second year as Wildcats' head coach with a big win.)

*********** Hey Coach.Hope all is well for you and your team.Well we have had one official scrimmage and one benefit game.Scrimmage we won 11 to 1.Game we won 46 to 0.Doing it just like you taught us.I'll keep you posted.Coach A.Castro(Roanoke,Va.)

*********** "First of all we won 21-0, we scored on 47 Criss Cross, 7X Corner(it worked great from inside the 20) & Tight Rip 2 Red. The 2 wedge was devastating..5 yds a pop... we pulled off 46 Plays in a regulation time Pop Warner game..Not Bad...

" I used your wristband idea...what a timesaver... the most plays we ran last year was 38 plays in a 32-6 win. I am here to testify, the wristband for the offense WORKS!! No confusion with the shuttling in/out of plays..Just wonderful!!.

"Total Offense 232 Yds 166 Rushing 66 Yds Passing 3-5 Completions, no Int. We ran Slot Rip 6G...Just one word for this play...DEADLY!!

"We ran Mostly Tight the first half and came back unbalanced the second half, we need a little more work on that... Overall I was very pleased... The parents were ecstatic with the offense. I have to send you the Video of the TR 47C Lead Criss Cross..It was sheer perfection..

"Be well..& once again, Many thanks Hugh. Coach Christian Thomas" - Cypress Chargers Pop Warner, Cypress, California

*********** Hearty congratulations to the team from Eloy, Arizona that "won" the Senior Little League "girls'" softball tournament in Kalamazoo - with five boys in the lineup. Bet they'll really be whooping it up on the streets of Eloy over this monumental win. Course, they "won" two of their games, including the final, by forfeit, when coaches of all-girls teams refused to play them. (See, they thought this was a girls' tournament.) But still, I'll bet those Arizona coaches are really proud of what they've accomplished. I mean, this is America, isn't it, where it doesn't matter how you win, as long as you win? Bet those young fellers are proud of themselves, too. So they were playing with girls. So what? They won, didn't they? Isn't that the only thing that matters? Hey, folks - we're not talking little girls. Or little boys. Those five boys playing on that Arizona team were 16 years old! By that age, boys are a lot bigger, faster, stronger and a lot more aggressive than girls. I'm sorry, but there's something wrong with those boys if they take any pride in what they've done. How can they? It's as sporting as jacklighting deer. What kind of parents would allow their sons to take part in a stunt like that? What kind of a community would stand by and let such a team represent it? Did its merchants donate money so that this farce could be carried out? Doesn't anybody in that town have any shame? And those Arizona coaches - they sound like one of the lamer bunches I've ever heard of. First they tried the "fairness" excuse. You know - "girls play football, so why can't boys play girls' sports?" To which I would throw the old "two wrongs don't make a right" cliche back at them. Ever heard of sportsmanship? Of taking the high road? Hey, just because soccer coaches let their players act like jerks, does that mean football coaches should do the same? Just because everybody in the world is doing the wrong thing, that still doesn't make it right. Their second excuse was even better: there was no team for those poor boys to play on, and there was a shortage of girls, so... To which I respond: tough. That's the way life is, sometimes. If there was no team for those 16-year-old boys to play on and a shortage of boys on the 11- and 12-year-old boys' team, I suppose it would have occured to those geniuses to "solve" the two "problems" by letting the older kids play on the little kids' team. No team for the boys? A shortage of girls? I suggest they get off their dead asses back in Eloy and go out and round up some sponsors and get a team for 16-year-old boys and a developmental program for younger girls. Oh - and leave the trophy back in Kalamazoo - for one of those teams that went there to play in a girls' tournament.

*********** Does this sound familiar? A coaching friend in the Midwest writes, "We have been plagued in our pre-game practices by parents who ground their kids. Allow them to stay home sick." There they go, overparenting again.

 

 
August 18 - "I will fight for eternal health and happiness for every American." Alpha Gore (just kidding)

 

*********** I believe that men should be men and women should be women, and they should respect each other and respect their differences. The same goes for boys and girls. I also believe that somebody has to have the stones to say "NO!" when it's necessary, including those times that girls want to play high school football or turn out for the wrestling team. Yes, I know. "We've always told Brittany she can do anything she sets her mind to do," blah, blah, blah. But let's be fair. I also believe that boys, whom God (sorry, feminists) has made generally bigger, faster, stronger and more aggressive, have no business intruding on girls' sports. I don't care whether they "want to." Contrary to impressions I may sometimes give, as the father of three daughters and the grandfather of three granddaughters, I believe quite strongly in providing opportunities for girls to play sports. With and against other girls. That includes volleyball, and it includes field hockey, two sports that boys have tried to move in on. And it certainly includes softball, where the Little League invites teams (made up exclusively of girls) from other nations to its World Series, going on right now in Kalamazoo, and then subjects them to America's peculiar notions of "gender equity" by allowing a team from Arizona to play them with five boys on its roster.
 
*********** I am not kidding. This question really did come up on a bulletin board on another site. "I play offensive tackle, defensive end, and sometimes linebacker. I am trying to decide on a new pair of football gloves for the season. What are the best gloves for these positions? Should I get half finger gloves, the thicker defender gloves, of gloves with tackified palms?" Call me a crusty old traditionalist. I personally consider gloves an affectation, and lump them in there with with headbands, wristlets, "sweet towels" and the like. (Of course, I am always open to new ideas. For example, if I were to get a call from Easton, or Nike, or one of the glove guys, wanting to spend several thou on a banner ad, I would be willing to take another look at the subject. Isn't that what open-mindedness is all about?)
 
*********** I spent enough time in the business world to know what an "exit interview" is, and to realize its value. It's an interview conducted with a departing employee, and sometimes, in the yes-man climate of a corporation, it's the only way to get people to talk frankly about a company. Several months ago, displeased with some of the things I saw going on and coming up, I submitted my letter of resignation from the coaching position at Washougal High. The letter is dated April 10. But the local weekly newspaper took until last week - August 10 - to report it. (You know how it goes with those weeklies - they're so busy covering softball tournaments and motocross races and fishing derbies and all the other big stuff that happens in the summer.) As a result, when they finally did get around to reporting my resignation - along with some awfully nice things said about me by the AD - the story had become a larger one about the rash of coaches who had resigned from Washougal without public explanation: the volleyball coach, the girls' basketball coach and the baseball coach, in addition to the football coach. Now, maybe all those resignations are just coincidental, but just to make sure, wouldn't you think that a superintendent might want to call some of those people in and ask, "whassup?" You wouldordinarily think so, but school superintendents are a different breed. Perhaps because they are constantly under attack from so many different directions, it seems to me that an unusually large number of them, in their insecurity, have become addicted to sycophancy (being sucked up to). I have yet to run into one who was interested in hearing the observations of an outgoing employee, who might be might be (horrors!) negative.

 

*********** The September issue of Family Circle magazine reports that a survey it conducted among 2,500 adults shows that 89 per cent of them approve of spanking and 76 per cent approve of random drug testing in high schools. 78 per cent favor a ban on cell phone use while driving.

 

*********** Don't know whether any of you have watched any of the Little League regionals on ESPN2. It actually is a little more interesting than watching the steroid-aided home run derby that passes for major league baseball these days, but the TV people have gone a bit overboard in their coverage. I mean, there are graphics for every kid, telling us his "best advice" (samples: "give 100 per cent" "concentrate") and also his "favorite TV show" and "favorite movie." In a few of the latter cases, the movie named was R-rated. Says something about their parents: these kids are 11 and 12-years old.
 
*********** Italy's answer to the teacher shortage: at least 11 Italian educators have been arrested in a scandal involving their extorting of gifts - including jewelry and expensive clothing - from prospective teachers, in exchange for "assistance" in passing a professional teachers' exam.

 

*********** Most Americans have never heard of Allen Pitts. Too bad. The Calgary Stampeder slotback caught nine passes Wednesday night to become the Canadian Football League's all-time leading receiver with 920 career receptions. In his 11th CFL season - and his 11th with the Stampeders - Pitts is now the CFL leader in career receptions, yards receiving and touchdowns receiving, as well as most 100-yard receiving games (he had 125 yards receiving Wednesday night) and most games catching at least one touchdown pass. Pitts played his college ball at Fullerton State, which, sadly, no longer plays football. (Thanks for the tip to Kyle Wagner, Edmonton, Alberta, who sent me the tip in the spirit of true sportsmanship, because he is definitely NOT a Calgary fan.)

 

 

 

 

 

*********** BEWARE OF "EXPERTS" ON THE WEB - this is "advice" (from a site that I will not name): "The best way to cause a fumble is not to strip the ball with your hands or arms but to directly get a helmet on the ball. This almost always results in a fumble by the ball carrier." Yeah. And occasionally in a catastrophic neck injury. But I guess that's the chance we have to take in return for "almost always" causing a fumble. This is what I wrote to the "experts":"It certainly sounds to me, a veteran coach, as if this advice will cause a tackler to lead with his head. I urge you to clarify this point, for your own good as well as for the sake of young players and inexperienced, impressionable coaches." Coaches, whether you buy my tackling tape or not, you simply must not teach or tolerate any technique that involves using the head to strike a blow.

 
*********** "Coach Wyatt, All of the long hot days in the weight room and Lineman Breakfast Club meetings are starting to pay off! We have had one scrimmage and one Jamboree. The scrimmage was against a AAA school and the Jamboree was against a AA team that played for the State Championship last year. The AA team recently dropped to class A and are preseason picks to win the region and the state. The results are below.

Scrimmage: We score 7 TD's and hold them to 0 first downs with our first unit. They drive to our 10 with our second unit in, so we put the first unit back in and make a stand to get the shut out.

 
Jamboree: We win 26-14 in one half of football. The half consisted of a 92 yard drive, a 40 yard drive, and a 10 yard drive. Once we established the run we burned them deep on a couple of passes.
 
The Defense was not to be outdone with an intercept, a caused fumble and recovery, and an interception for a touchdown late in the game to seal the deal.
 
We have only run our basic plays Powers, Wedge, Black-o, Blue-Blue, and Red-Red. This has been all we have needed, so why show the rest so early. Thanks for your help with the system. If you could we would love for you to come to a game sometime this year. Jet (Coach Jet Turner) sends a Hey Y'all and Best wishes. Sincerely, Jeff Murdock" (Ware Shoals, South Carolina - Coaches Murdock and Turner both spoke at my North Carolina clinic where they detailed the steps they had taken to install the Double-Wing, and the progress they have been making in turning a truly dying program around.)

 

*********** "Foxhole Christian" used to be an expression that described guys in wartime who experienced a sudden religious conversion when things got hairy. Anyone happen to notice how certain people who for the last eight years have stood by while God was kicked out of schools suddenly remember His name now that an election is at stake?"
 
August 17 - "By acting as though I wasn't afraid, I ceased to be afraid." Theodore Roosevelt

 

LAST DAY: Ohio State will retire the numbers of two of its Heisman Trophy winners, the number 31 of Vic Janowicz, and the number 40 of Howard "Hopalong" Cassady. They become only the second and third men to be so honored at Ohio State. Who was the first - and until recently, the only - Buckeye to have had his number (45) retired? HINT: He is the only man to have won TWO Heisman Trophies! FURTHER HINT: He played in the NFL for the Cincinnati Bengals, and has a brother who wasn't too bad, either. ANSWER: Archie Griffin was called "the greatest football player I've ever coached" by Woody Hayes, who coached a few pretty good ones at Ohio State. In his college career, Archie rushed for 5,176 yards, with a run of 31 consecutive games of 100 yards or more. He was a model of the old-time football player, modest, unselfish and not given to drawing attention to himself. His actions spoke eloquently for him. Everybody knew what a great football player Archie Griffin was, so Coach Hayes frequently spoke, instead, about what a great person he was, always giving credit to Mr. and Mrs. Griffin, the mother and father who raised him and shaped him. (Archie's brother, Ray, was also an outstanding football player at Ohio State.) In 1986, Archie was voted into the National Football Foundation and College Hall of Fame, and he now serves as Associate Director of Athletics at Ohio State. ANSWERED BY: Adam Wesoloski- DePere, Wisconsin... Joe Daniels- Sacramento, California... Kevin McCullough- Lakeville, Indiana ---- Sam Knopik, Moberly, Missouri --- Ron Timson- Umatilla, Florida--- Jon McLaughlin- Olympia Fields, Illinois--- Dan King- Evans, Georgia... Greg LaBoissonniere- Coventry, Rhode Island... Dwayne Pierce- Washington, D.C.... Tom Hensch- Staten Island, New York.., John Torres- Manteca, California... John Reardon- Peru, Illinois... Ted Brown- Boothbay Harbor, Maine... Mark Kaczmarek- Davenport, Iowa... Kyle Wagner- Edmonton, Alberta... Glade Hall- Seattle, Washington...Paul Herzog- North St. Paul, Minnesota ("I didn't answer right away, I thought everyone would know instantly.")... Pete Smolin- Pasadena, California... Greg Stout- Thompson's Station, Tennessee... Bruce Eien- Los Angeles... Whit Snyder- Baytown, Texas... Mark Hundley- Columbus, Ohio... Jim Kuhn- Greeley, Colorado... Steve Staker- Fredericksburg, Iowa... Al Andrus- Salt Lake City, Utah...

 

*********** Shame on me. It was pointed out to me by Scott Russell, in Northern Virginia, that yesterday - August 16 - was the birthday of Amos Alonzo Stagg, one of the true greats of the coaching profession. Thanks to Coach Russell. Next year I will know in time.

 

*********** Parents don't like to admit that a coach may see a side of their son that they have never seen. With parents' meetings coming up, I got a call from Paul Herzog, in North St. Paul, Minnesota, asking me to try to locate a quote I'd printed some time ago by the late, great Jake Gaither, highly successful coach at Florida A & M, dealing with the unique view a coach has of a young man. Here it is: "You see the boy that Mama and Papa never see. You see him with his soul stripped naked. You can tell Mama and papa whether their boy is a coward or whether he is a courageous man. You can tell them whether their boy is selfish or whether he is tolerant and understanding. You can tell them whether their son is dependable and reliable or whether he isn't. You can tell them whether their son obeys the rules or whether he is a violator of the law. You know that kid as nobody else knows him, because you have seen him with his soul stripped naked."

*********** Minnesota Vikings' great Jim Marshall, who never missed a game during a 20-year NFL career - 19 with the Vikings - has cancer.

``It's true; it's serious,'' Marshall told Charley Walters, of the St. Paul Pioneer Press.

The cancer was diagnosed nine months ago, but Marshall, 62, making it clear he is not interested in anyone's sympathy, had told only close friends. Finally, when rumors recently began to surface, he confirmed the diagnosis to Walters, while requesting that the type of cancer remain confidential.

Marshall a defensive end and member of the famed Purple People Eaters defensive front line under coach Bud Grant, played in 409 straight games, counting exhibitions and playoffs. His number 70 has been retired by the Vikings, but perhaps because he was overshadowed by some even better-known teammates on those great Vikings' teams, he has yet to be voted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

Marshall is scheduled go to the world-famous Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn., to consider various treatment options. ``It's one of those things that we're faced with today,'' Marshall told Walters. ``I've got some options, and I plan on exercising those options. There's chemotherapy and radiation treatments. It seems to have spread to the bone. Right now I'm in the process of choosing a method of treatment that might be available to me at this stage.''

Marshall has not allowed the cancer to slow him down. He has been active in Life's Missing Link, a non-profit organization that aids troubled youngsters, and when he spoke with Walters, he was in Albany, N.Y., working through the NFL Alumni Association to raise funds for his organization.

When asked if he has ever been afraid, Marshall told Walters, ``I have been afraid of some things in my life, but I really can't think of anything, can't single anything out. But fear seems to kind of invoke my survival instincts, and I concentrate more on what I need to do to overcome whatever's happening.

Marshall said he has a major ally in his fight. ``It's good attitude," he told Walters. "I think you have to have the right attitude when you're faced with situations like this. I think the more positive you are, and the way you look at the more positive things that are possible to arrest this situation, it's so much better than looking at the negativity. If you do the whole `woe is me' type of thing, I mean, you're water over the dam; you're going downhill. I'm looking at it as this is something that happens, and there are millions and millions and millions of cancer survivors out there. And one of the things that I've heard from many people is that it is having the right attitude.'' (Thanks for the tip to Jeff Huseth, ace Twin Cities correspondent)
 
TRIVIA QUESTION: Now that I've spotted you Jim Marshall, can you name the other three Purple People Eaters?
 
*********** Mark Kessler, quarterback at Wells, Nevada High, is a good basketball player. For years, he had aspirations of playing at Duke, and has even attended Coach K's camp. But he is also a realist. He knows the kind of players that Duke recruits. Fortunately for Mark, he has other ways of reaching his goals. He is also a top-notch student and is president of the student body. Now, he is considering going to Davidson College, not only because it is well-though-of academically, but also because it plays Duke. "If I can't play for Duke," he told me, "I'd love to be able to play against them!"
 
*********** "We are 9 days away from game one against cross-county rival AAAAA NW Rankin(They are a 5A school twice our size). We were one of only 4 schools invited to participate in a controlled scrimmage last week end. We played Clinton High School(AAAAA semi-finalist from 1999). They have 4 pre-season D-1 prospects that have already committed to SEC schools all on Defense. We moved the ball real well against them despite our #1 fullback and #1 B back out with injuries. We feel real good about the up-coming season. We feel like we will have a great year if our young defense comes around. Our offensive line is real solid with great size: Center 6'5" 290, Guards 6'3" 274 and 5'9 270, Tackles 6'3" 274 and 6'3" 225, Tight Ends 6'3" 225 and 6'2" 215. Our Wedge is deadly! I'll keep you posted on our season." Steve Jones, Florence, Mississippi
 
*********** "Lincoln had low ratings...Jesus had a best friend who was a hooker." Noted political historian and theologian, Cher, speaking at the Democratic Convention.
 
*********** Huh? First Alpha Gore goes on TV to tell us how he and Joe Lieberman represent some sort of "New Guard," and how they're going to throw out the "Old Guard." And then Tuesday night the Democrats trot out Teddy Kennedy. 
 
*********** Great story: A member of this year's freshman class of footballers at Ohio State is Jimmy Otis, a quarterback and son of Buckeye great Jim Otis. Jimmy's mom, Jan, told the Columbus Dispatch that when her son was born in 1981, Coach Woody Hayes was the second person to hold him. "First Jim held him, and then Coach hayes held him," she told the newspaper. "And Coach Hayes gave him a football on which he had written, "See you at Ohio State in 2000."
 
August 16 - "To be great is to be misunderstood." Ralph Waldo Emerson, American poet, essayist and philosopher

*********** MLS - which stands for Major League Soccer (now, there's a contradiction in terms if ever I've heard one) just can't seem to hook up with all those little boys and girls who play soccer and all those mommies and daddies who chauffeur them to their games. Every year since its establishment five years ago, MLS overall attendance has declined.

What to do? I might suggest tearing out all the seats in the stadiums and replacing them with folding lawn chairs, but I won't. Why should I? They came up with an even stupider idea of their own. Check their web site if you don't believe me. They're conducting a poll right now. (www.mlsnet.com in case you want to vote.) What's it all about? They're going to turn this whole attendance thing around by redesigning the ball, for crying out loud. Now, that's going to pack 'em in! Everywhere I go, I keep running into people who say how much they would enjoy going out to watch a good, exciting 1-0 (that's "one-nil") soccer match, if only it weren't for "that ball."

Actually, I would like to suggest to those dreamers at MLS headquarters that if they are really serious about increasing their attendance by redesigning their ball, they consider making it a little more elongated, with points on the ends and laces on one of the sides. And while they're at it, cut down on all that sissy kicking. And allow players to pick the ball up with their hands and run with it - maybe even throw it to a teammate. And let the people on the other team tackle the guy with the ball. You get the idea. I really think Americans would go for it.
 
*********** For the second year in a row, I took my Australian Rules football with me to Wells, Nevada and we ended practice sessions with 15 minutes of "Touch Footy." This time, the kids knew what was coming up when I brought out the ball, and said, "Yes! Footy!" They remembered the rules, and got right back into the swing of things. By now, some of them are pretty good. And that's fair dinkum (no b.s.).
 
*********** Five per cent raises proposed for presidents of universities and community colleges in Nevada - and rejected by the state's Regents - would have resulted in $154,109 being paid to the president of a community college! A Junior College! Are you kiddin' me? Those guys don't even have to get out and kiss up to alumni and raise funds, like real college presidents. In case you're looking for flaws in our public education system, you might start here - the highest paid high school teacher in the state of Washington (assuming 20 years of experience and a Ph.D.) earns $100,000 a year less than the principal (sorry, "president") of a Nevada Junior College!
 
*********** "Coach, You got a call on Tuesday or Wednesday from an assistant coach I know. The day before I started working with the linemen and installing the DW to my 11-12 year old team. That practice wasn't too fun. He didn't understand why I was doing this. He told me the next day that he talked with you at length and he now understood what I was trying to get across. At first I was a little upset that he didn't trust me but then I realized that at least he was trying to learn as much as he could about the offense. I do not know what was said but he told me that he understood why the stance and alignment of the line is important. Thanks for spending time with him on the phone." (Name Withheld)
 
*********** On the wall of Bil-To-Ki, a Basque restaurant in Elko, Nevada, are several photos of a soccer team whose named appeared to me to be EUSKADI. (I couldn't be sure, because some of the letters looked a little strange.) Evidently, the team was pretty good, because the photos were all taken after wins over teams such as Russia, Spain and other nations. So who the heck is EUSKADI? Was this some rich sponsor? To find out, I had only to return home to Washington and open up one of the back-copies of the Vancouver Columbian waiting for me to read. There, in an op-ed page column, Michael Zuzel wrote of attending Jaialdi 2000, the fourth annual International Basque Cultural Festival, held in Boise, Idaho. People from all over the Mountain West - from all over the world, for that matter - had flocked to Boise to celebrate three days of Basque art, Basque dancing and Basque food. And speak Euskera, the language of the Basques, which seems to exceed even Finnish in its difficulty and in its estrangement from other languages. They also honor Euskadi, the ancestral home of the Basques in the Pyrenees Mountains separating France and Spain, and the name they will give to their nation, should they ever succeed in gaining their independence from Spain and France. (Largely because of the impossibility of ever assimiliating the Basques into Spanish culture, the Basque culture - and often the Basque people - were long-time targets of extermination by the Spanish government under dictator Francisco Franco.) In the high desert country of the West are still found pockets of people of Basque ancestry, descendants of sheepherders brought over to do the lonely, difficult job that their people have done in Europe for hundreds of years. The EUSKADI in the pictures, then, was the Basque National Team, representing not just "a region in Spain," or "a region in France," but a Basque nation. Provided, that is, that France will give up three of its provinces and Spain four of its. Every day, unfortunately, there is Northern Ireland-style nastiness going on in the Basque Country, with the aim of persuading France and Spain to do that very thing.
 
*********** "I can't think of a worse place to be in the summer than Los Angeles." So said Oregon Governor John Kitzhaber, winning friends right and left while explaining why he'll be skipping this week's Democratic Convention.
 
*********** Pat Summerall, commenting on the high temperature during Sunday's Packers-Broncos game, said it was "unseasonably" hot. Uh, Pat - last I checked, it was still summer.
 
 
August 15 - "I don't really mind what people say about me as long as they don't mind what I say about them after they've said it." Sam Newman, former Australian Rules Football players, now a popular - and controversial - wisecracking regular on Australia's The Footy Show.

*********** Anybody else repulsed by Melissa Etheridge's desecration of our national anthem in leading off the Democratic Convention last night? I looked at all those servicemen standing at respectful attention in the background and couldn't help wondering what they thought when the little hippie with the guitar clumsily morphed The Star Spangled Banner into America the Beautiful into a hand-clapping "This Land is Your Land." I guarantee you that if she tried that crap at a ball game, they'd have booed her out of the joint. Oh, well. At least she didn't grab her crotch.

 

*********** An hour and a half south of Twin Falls, Idaho, which is two hours east of Boise, which is seven hours from Portland, sits Wells, Nevada. Wells, so named because wagon trains headed west managed to find water there, is a small town which now finds itself with little going for it in the way of job opportunities other than the huge truck stops on the Interstate (Wells is about the midway point between Denver, a day's drive east, and San Francisco, a day's drive west). As a result, the school enrollment has declined and the school system has had to lay off teachers. And Wells' sports teams have been reclassified from 2A to 1A. This means even more travel for a school whose nearest rival used to be 1-1/2 hours away. (Now, the nearest opponent is 2-1/2 hours distant.) Oh - and the football team, which made it to the state 2A finals last year, now must play 8-man ball. And Coach Steve Rodriguez, who had been Coach Marty Linford's defensive coordinator for the previous two years of running the Double-Wing, suddenly found himself having to coach offense, and the 8-man version at that. It was with that in mind that Steve paid me a visit earlier this summer, and we talked over ways of retaining an offense that his kids loved while adapting it to the 8-man game. And then Steve arranged for me to return to Wells for the third straight year to put on a two-day camp. Steve finds himself with a talented returning cast, including quarterback Mark Kessler and wingbacks Justin Stumpf and Joe Dangeran, and big lineman Ernie Bautista, and to help him coach, he managed to persuade Mike Cromie to return after a year's layoff. I think that we have put together a decent offensive package. But everyone I talk to says the real challenge in 8-man is defense - trying to come up with a stop or two. Zone coverage is out of the question - there are just so few people to cover so much field - which means that it is always possible to get Arena-Football-like man-for-man mismatches. Special teams present unique problems: you'd better not miss a tackle. And on top of that, Coach Rodriguez, who played his high school ball for Dale Pohle at Great Falls, Montana High and played college ball at Minot State, has to deal with the monster of complacency. Wells is, after all, a defending state finalist, and the temptation is there to assume that playing at a lower level will be a piece of cake. Wrong. As I tried to point out to the kids, as talented as they are, they are going to be playing the other man's game. I told them that it doesn't make any difference if you are the best snooker player in town, when you walk into a place and 9-ball is the game.

*********** It was Mike Muniz who arranged for a me to put on a combination practice/clinic for his brother's Pop Warner Pee-Wee (9-10-11-year-old) team in Sparks, Nevada last week. Mike is a career youth coach. So is his brother, Milton. So, too, at various times have been brothers Mark and Marvin. The Muniz brothers, needless to say, are well known in Sparks. Mike, a career military man who is now employed by the Nevada Air National Guard, fell in love with the Double-Wing in the off-season, but he is devoting this season to being equipment manager for the entire 430+ player Sparks Pop Warner organization, so he sold brother Milton on running it with his team. Milton and his chief assistant, Dan Gettings, were familiar with the offense, and many of their kids had already seen my video, so they turned the practice over to me, and we got right to work installing plays, two offensive units at a time, as the Sparks coaches joined in. For me, it was smooth going, largely because the kids were unusually attentive and focused. When I called for a volunteer, I would get a half-dozen. When I asked a question, hands shot up. When I corrected a youngster, he made the correction and got on with it. The reason was obvious: Milt is a no-nonsense guy. He has high standards and expectations, and the kids all know what they are. Fun is a part of the whole deal, of course, but the coaching was businesslike and the kids responded to the coaches' touch. I felt as though I had been transported back in time to a day when coaches could actually let kids know when they made a mistake, without being afraid of reducing them to tears. Mike, meanwhile, stood back in his fatigues watching practice and eating his heart out. He has aspirations of coaching high school ball when he retires in a couple of years, and I hope I was encouraging when I told him of several men I know who have done just that. Ron Timson, in Umatilla, Florida and Nick Mygas, in Virginia Beach are two of them. I have a feeling that Mike, who is quite knowledgeable about the Double-Wing, will find a way to help Milt once he gets the equipment situation under control. Milt couldn't possibly turn down Mike's offer to help, because he owes Mike one: years ago, when they were growing up in Fresno, Mike, then an 18-year-old high school senior, took eight-year-old Milton by the hand and, unbeknownst to their parents, signed him up to play Pop Warner football. And when Milton threatened to quit, Mike wouldn't let him.

*********** During my recent swing through Oregon, Idaho, Nevada and Northern California, it was hard to ignore the forest fires sweeping the West. We saw large fires near Mountain Home, Idaho and, later, near Lovelock, Nevada; charred land in several other places served as evidence of earlier fires that had swept through. One football player at Wells, Nevada, told me that half the land on his family's ranch had burned - some 25,000 acres! There were firefighters everywhere. Several of them had been camped on the football field at Wells, and a semi-trailer had peeled off a strip of sod as it pulled off the field, leaving a nasty trench a yard or so wide, from the 10 yard line out to about the 40. When the firefighters offered to repair the damage, some genius settled for having it filled it with sand, creating a rather unsafe condition. Nice grass fields are at a premium in desert country, so the football team also practices on the game field, and the frustrated Wells coaches wondered how they were going to manage to avoid injury. Until Dan Kessler showed up, that is. Dan is the dad of Wells quarterback Mark Kessler. Until his recent retirement, Dan was General manager of the local rural electric utility, and he is a man who can get things done. He started the youth football program in town, and spearheaded the effort to get lights for the high school football field. So when he showed up at practice one afternoon, took one look at the sand trap running down the field, and said, "This is B---S---!" I somehow knew that everything was going to be all right.

*********** On the Joe Paterno-Rashard Casey matter, Mike McGovern, sports columnist for the Reading Eagle, writes, "Last week, on a call-in show that passes for sports-talk radio, the host conducted an informal poll about Penn State's handling of the Rashard Casey situation. By the time I got out of the car, the result was 12 in favor and one against coach Joe Paterno's decision to allow Casey to play. (This overwhelming approval -- by Penn State fans calling a Pennsylvania radio show -- was about as surprising as polling Nebraska fans about their favorite color and finding out it's red.)" McGovern doubts that the outcome of the poll would have been the same if the callers had been voting on the fate of a starting quarterback at Florida State, or Michigan, or Notre Dame, or Ohio State who faced similar charges. "Guaranteed," he writes, "if Bobby Bowden or Lloyd Carr or Bob Davie or John Cooper allowed his quarterback to play, most Penn State fans would be howling in outrage that such behavior by an athlete was condoned." (Thanks to my niece, Bonnie Wyatt, who lives in Reading, for the article)

*********** I was playing tennis early the other morning as tiny soccer players began assembling for a tournament on an adjoining field. As their parents unfolded their lawn chairs and sat down to suck on their cups of designer coffee, the kids stood around kicking at the goal. Finally, the coach sent them on a warmup lap, and as they completed the lap, one more player straggled out of the parking lot and joined them. "You're late," I heard the coach say. "Sorry," the kid told him. "We had to stop at Starbuck's."
 
*********** Last week, a woman in Florida aimed a gun at her 16-year-old daughter's tummy and made her drive 70 miles to an abortion clinic. On arrival at the clinic, she told a nurse, "If my daughtr doesn't have this abortion, I'll blow her brains out." The woman was arrested. I couldn't find out what happened to the daughter or the unborn child. The woman's boss said, "I assure you, she loves her daughter. She should have shot the 23-year-old man that got her pregnant."
 

 
August 14 - "The minute you get away from the fundamentals - whether it's proper technique, work ethic or mental preparation - the bottom can fall out of your game, your schoolwork, your job - whatever you're doing." Michael Jordan

*********** It certainly was nice of readers to inquire about the state of my health when I missed two days of publication last week. Especially touching was a note from Scott Barnes, of Rockwall, Texas: "was worried about you - glad to see it was just senility and nothing serious!" Thanks a lot, Coach.

*********** Jim Kuhn is one lucky guy. He is young and healthy; he has a wife and three kids; he is living in the United States of America and coaching football with a great group of kids and a great staff of assistants. And his dad is one of them. Jim is headed into his second year as the head coach at West Seneca West High in suburban Buffalo, and for the last four years, dad Len Kuhn ("Coach Papa Kuhn" to the kids) has been on his staff.

It is not a case of reverse nepotism. Any of us would be happy to have Len on our staff. He was a successful high school coach himself for 16 years, until his outside business interests no longer allowed time for coaching.

In the years since, that business, a construction management firm with projects all over the country, has prospered to the point where now Len has the luxury of scheduling his time so his autumns are freed up for football.

 

Len was my host during a recent stay in Buffalo, and I had a chance to get to know him better. He's quite a guy. A farm boy from rural western New York, he played football at Michigan, and remains a loyal Wolverine, rarely seen without some article of clothing displaying his allegiance. After Michigan, he played with the St. Louis (now Phoenix) Cardinals, and has served as head of the Buffalo chapter of NFL Alumni.

 He got into coaching, but unwilling to completely set aside his early dreams of becoming an architect, he earned a graduate degree in Urban Planning from the University of Buffalo. His increasing involvement in construction led ultimately to the establishment of his own firm, which now manages far-flung projects for clients ranging from restaurant chains to trucking companies to airports (in the latter case, a major expansion of the Fort Lauderdale airport), making sure they come in on time, under budget, and up to specs. (Based on what I've seen of school construction fiascoes around the country, I would suggest that boards of education get in touch with Len.)

It amazes me how Len can work so hard yet seem so relaxed; it must be his organization. He is up and out by six every morning to work out. (Until two years ago, when an injury slowed him down, he was a competitive senior power lifter.) For the rest of the day, he is in and out of the office and seemingly constantly on the phone, until it is time for football workouts. Then it's home, to wife Noreen and daughter Erin, a junior and promising softball player at Lancaster High. His favorite form of recreation is grooming the park-like seven acres of land that surround his restored farmhouse in the heart of the Village of Lancaster. A fleet of tractors sits at the ready..

Len was persuaded to get back into coaching four years ago, when Jim took the head JV job at West Seneca East High. In Jim's first year, East's JV's were 0-8, but having read an article I'd written for Scholastic Coach, Jim ran a little Double-Wing in the last game and liked what he saw. The following winter, he and Len drove through a snowstorm to attend my clinic in Cleveland, and on his return, Jim was able to get the head varsity coach's permission to run the offense with his JV's. He finished 4-4 in his first year of running it, and 7-1 his second year, which no doubt contributed in part to his being hired when the head job came open across town at West Seneca West. Len, of course, went along.

Now, I know of a few father-and-son coaching teams, but I don't know of any others in which the son is the head coach and the dad an assistant. It is a wonderful thing to see. I especially admire the way Len is able to remain in the background, offering advice when it's asked for, but leaving no doubt in anyone's mind who the boss is. And Jim knows that no matter what may happen, the Big Guy's loyalty will never be in doubt.

*********** Philadelphia Eagles' Pro Bowl cornerback Troy Vincent was spied by the Atlantic City Press' David Weinberg leaving the field after a recent practice and headed toward the locker room, when he heard some kids, standing behind a fence 100 yards or so away, calling his name.

"Jump the fence," he called to them, "and come on over here!''

"We're not allowed,'' the kids hollered back

"Jump the fence," he told them again. "It's OK. Tell them I said it's OK.''

The kids did as he suggested, but were quickly intercepted by security. But as they were being shown to the gate, Vincent and Eagles fullback Cecil Martin jogged over to them them and spent about 15 minutes signing autographs and talking with them.

"Whenever that kind of situation comes up, I always think about my 4-year-old son,'' said Vincent, a married man and father of a daughter and two sons. "I saw those kids standing out there for hours just to wait for me, and there was no way I was going to let them down.''

Quarterback Donovan McNabb, the Eagles' most popular player if the number of kids wearing his number 5 jersey is any indication, also goes out of his way to sign autographs. Weinberg says McNabb will spend as much as an hour after practice with fans, signing until his hand gets tired. (He signs left-handed, but throws right-handed.)

"When I get a chance to sign, I sign for just about anybody,'' McNabb said to Weinberg. "But whenever we've just gone through a long day of practice, I always try to get to the kids first. They could be doing anything that they want to do, but they decided to come out and see us, to cheer us on and give us support. I've seen kids who have been standing (against the fence) for an hour and I always make sure I get to them.'' (It's great to hear about pro football players who act like decent human beings. Thanks to Frank Simonsen, of Cape May, New Jersey, for the tip on the story)
  
*********** Alex Van Pelt has spent five years as an NFL quarterback, mostly as ta backup. At the start of this year's training camps, though, he was out of work. The Bills had released him when they decided to keep two other quarterbacks behind Flutie and starter Rob Johnson , but clearly neither was considered capable of being the number one backup, so when Flutie was injured a few weeks ago, the Bills hustled out and signed Van Pelt. Now here's the question: if Van Pelt is good enough to back up a pro starter, why was he hanging around looking for work? Simple. He couldn't make a deal with anybody. The NFL's contract with the Player's Union requires that a five-year veteran be paid a minimum of $400,000 - and at that figure no team would sign Van Pelt. Not, that is, until Buffalo, out of sheer desperation, finally agreed to pay it. But the point is that Van Pelt was not free to make his own deal. He couldn't have just strolled in to Philadelphia, say, and offered to play for $200,000. So who is being protected by such rules, anyhow? Here's a guy with the talent to play a little NFL quarterback, yet thanks to the NFL's version of the minimum wage, he could very possibly have spent the entire season in his La-Z-Boy.
 
*********** Schools fret and worry about complying with the most trivial of federal regulations, under fear of loss of federal funds. But for several years now, the oh-so-politically-correct Portland Public Schools have been shirking what most of us would consider a fundamental duty - they have been barring military recruiters from their high schools. And the wimp federal government, which bullies colleges into providing athletic scholarships for women even if there aren't any women interested or qualified, does nothing about a stand which is unpatriotic at the least, traitorous at its worst. See, a majority of members of the Portland School Board didn't like the military's "discrimination" against homosexuals. Forget the fact that we all have an obligation to "provide for the common defense" (one of the reasons for our Constitution, or so it says); what about the large number of kids in Portland's high schools whose careers are being held hostage by a feel-good school board that ought to be paying more attention to bloated budgets and declining student performance?
 
*********** I can think of lots of things found in the South that we could use a little more of in the Pacific Northwest. Barbecue, grits, pig-pickin', pecan pie and friendly people with a passion for football come immediately to mind. But, Lord, not fire ants. And not kudzu, either. If you haven't seen kudzu, you don't know the awesome power of a vegetable. Kudzu is a leafy green vine that was introduced to the United States in the hope of controlling erosion. That it did. And everything else it grew on, around and over. Like ivy on steroids, it is estimated that kudzu, every vine of which can grow up to a foot a day, covers another 125,000 to 150,000 acres of the South every year. And I do mean cover. It grows over abandoned buildings and junk cars, creating a weird sort of topiary. It actually overwhelms trees and utility poles, eventually bending them over with its sheer weight. And two weeks ago, kudzu was found alive and thriving in Canby, Oregon. It is said to be the first kudzu sighting west of the Mississippi. Oh, well - got to be an optimist. Maybe pork barbecue is next.
 
*********** When I was a kid growing up in eastern Pennsylvania, teachers would joke about how, depending on whether we shaped up, we would either wind up going to Penn State or State Pen. Based on current events, they could have been talking about the same place. Now, I have a world of admiration for Joe Paterno. If he were to commit a murder right now, I would stand by him. He would still be wrong, and I wouldn't want him to escape punishment, but I'd stand by him. So I'm going to stand by him now, regardless of the outcome of the Rashard Casey ugliness, but it does seem to me that in the way he is handling the Casey Case, the Great Man is exposing himself to the same charges of hypocrisy that Nebraska's Tom Osborne, also a good man, had to deal with. (What will that funny guy Lawrence Phillips do next?) After years of building a program that some once called a Noble Experiment, Coach Paterno seems prepared to chuck it all by allowing Casey to remain on the team as starting quarterback while charged with a felony. Casey and a friend, both black, allegedly beat a white guy - who turned out to be an off-duty police officer - senseless because he was leaving a nightclub with a black woman. Police say that the victim's blood was found on Casey's shoe. This is America, of course, and Casey is entitled to a fair trial, etc., etc., and maybe he will be found Not Guilty. But this charge is serious business. We're not talking shoplifting here. Or using a phony ID to buy beer. Or conspiring with a retail clerk to obtain outgrageous discounts. We're talking about potential manslaughter. We're talking about an inhuman act. A "hate crime," even? It seems to me that at the very least, for the good of a program which has generally been above reproach, Coach Paterno ought to use Florida law as a guideline. It specifies that an athlete at one of Florida's state universities who has been charged with a felony may not play until the case is resolved. I believe that Penn State's reputation for integrity, planted by Rip Engle and carefully watered and cultivated by Coach Paterno, will suffer immeasurably from the hit it will take if Casey is allowed to play and is subsequently found guilty. Or gets off on a technicality.
 
*********** Great web site passed along to me by Scott Russell, in Northern Virginia: www.uselessknowledge.com
 

 
August 11 - "If you want to give God a really good laugh, tell Him your plans." An old joke, according to columnist Leonard Pitts of the Miami Herald

 

 
TRIVIA QUESTION: He is a present-day Big Ten coach*, but when this picture was taken, prior to the1963 season, he was an outstanding 230-pound Big Sky Conference tackle for Montana State's first-year coach Jim Sweeney (* HINT: it is not Joe Paterno). He has made his team competitive with an offensive style of play sometimes derisively called "grass basketball."

 

ANSWER: PURDUE COACH JOE TILLER - Answered by Adam Wesoloski, De Pere, Wisconsin... Kevin McCullough - Lakeville, Indiana... Greg Stout- Thompson's Station, Tennessee... Mark Kaczmarek- Davenport, Iowa... Steve Staker- Fredericksburg, Iowa... Sam Knopik - Moberly, Missouri... Jon McLaughlin, Olympia Fields, Illinois... Dennis Metzger, Indiana... Dwayne Pierce- Washington, D.C.

BEST ANSWER: "Coach: The answer to your trivia question is MSU Bobcat great and current Purdue coach Joe Tiller. Ah, the good ole' days when the Cats still had a chance to beat the Griz (Montana's Grizzlies)! As a matter of fact I will be in Missoula November 18 this year to see the 13 YEAR losing streak finally fall. I hope. It'll be a battle of former BYU quarterbacks. U of M's Drew Miller against MSU's Fahaad Azimi. Both signed with and attended BYU out of high school. Go Bobcats. Cole" (Cole Shaffer, La Center, Washington - a former player and assistant. And Bobcat.)

 

*********** "Hugh, Just finished reading your "news page" and could not help thinking about coach Rogerson. I had just been hired as the head football coach at Old Town High School, a community just down the road from the UMO ( University of Maine Orono). Orono high School was our big rival and coach Rogerson had a son who played for them - a real fine player. Anyway, I called him to get some help with the Wing - T we were running. He spent an entire afternoon with me reviewing film and talking about the Wing-T. He was a perfect coach giving of his time from his own busy schedule to help the new coach down the road. It would have been very easy for him to ignore a new high school coach especially during that time of the year and him being the head coach of the state university. However he was not that kind of man and the lesson he taught by example that day by helping me is one I never forgot. His untimely death was a real tragedy. (Coach Rogerson died of a heart attack while jogging, the summer before his first season as head coach at Princeton.) He was a real gentleman and is still remembered by many in this state." Jack Tourtillotte, Boothbay Harbor, Maine

*********** In a recent Wall Street Journal, Walter S. Mossberg, the Journal's technology editor, wrote a column of interest to anyone contemplating buying a computer for the purpose of video editing. He tested and reviewed the Sony VAIO J100, calling it "the least expensive computer I've seen ($799 after rebate) with both a camcorder port and a video-editing program built in." For example, the lowest-priced comparable iMac sells for $999. No contest, right? Wrong.

Like iMacs, the Sony has the FireWire connection (that's what Apple calls it; Sony calls it iLink, and generically it's known as 1394) that allows you to hook up a digital camera to your computer and exchange data back and forth.

Like iMacs, the Sony works with digital cameras only.

Like iMac's iMovie software, Sony's video editing program, called Movie Shaker - which comes bundled with all Sony VAIO computers - allows you to gather scenes in the computer, where you can then eliminate unwanted scenes, crop scenes (trim them to the desired length), rearrange their sequence, and add titles, transitions (the way one scene changes to another) and audio.

However, says Mr. Mossberg, for some reason, , unlike Mac's iMovie, you can't import video directly from your camera into your computer, and you can't export an edited production directly back to your camera. (At which point I would ask, then why bother? An iMac with iMovie does both with no problem.) All Movie Shaker does, he says, is create files on your computer. (And lemme tell you, those files can get to be humongous!)

Says Mr. Mossberg, "I think it's significantly inferior to the original version of iMovie, let alone the newer version 2 Apple just released."

He advises anyone interested in the Sony approach to spend more money - maybe $1500 to get a Sony with twice the RAM, twice the hard disk space and a faster processor. Even after you've done that, though, he says, "All in all, the Sony VAIO isn't as good as Apple's iMac models for video editing, but if you're a confirmed windows user,,, it's your best solution for simple work."
 
(This weekend, check out your local Circuit City - many of them will be hosting Demo Days, showing you how easy it is to use iMovie to edit video on an iMac.)
 
*********** Rodeo cowboys, some of them perhaps sponsored by tobacco companies, threatened not to ride in a Hillsboro, Oregon rodeo last weekend until a large anti-smoking banner was removed. It said, "Smoking Makes You Impotent," and pictured a cowboy with a cigarette dangling limply (get it?) from his lips.
 
*********** There is a minuscule American Indian population in the Portland, Oregon area, yet the Portland Oregonian - talk about censorship - steadfastly refuses to print Indian nicknames of sports teams. I am not kidding. The Oregonian read like a high school paper a few years ago when the "Atlanta team" faced the "Cleveland team" in the World Series. Now, Western New York has a decent-size Indian population; there are at least four Indian reservations within an hour's drive of Buffalo. And yet numerous high schools in the Buffalo area that use Indian nicknames - Indians, Braves, Warriors, Chiefs and, yes, even Redskins. There has not, I am told, been a huge outcry against those nicknames. In fact, those American Indians who have spoken out on the issue recognize that the nicknames were chosen out of respect for such Indian characteristics as nobility and courage, and have said that they take pride in them. 
 
*********** FROM DOWN UNDER - :Just to show you how different Australian TV is from our version, Ed Wyatt, in our award-winning Melbourne Bureau, reports "From last night's Footy Show...they do a segment from out at various football clubs around Victoria (Melbourne's state) and New South Wales (Sydney's), where they spin a wheel to win a prize. Last night's was at Wangaratta, north of Melbourne. They're interviewing an old codger and when the host makes some joke about him still "scoring with the women," the old guy says "I'd rather sleep with an old hen than pullet ("pull it")."
 
*********** Some sportswriter in the Boston Globe named Michael Holley says he's sick of "grumpy old men" (count me among them) who spend a lot of their time talking about how great sports were in the old days, when (he satirizes) "Pro athletes played for the love of the game... Leagues weren't ruined by free agents and expansion... Men were real men, etc., etc." He claims that he doesn't want to hear it, because he doesn't want to be distracted from watching all the wonderful stuff going on in sports this year. Well. If he really thinks that today's sports are so great, I am willing to bet that he is in his twenties, and he also thinks today's air travel is really swell. And modern-day parents are doing a great job of raising their kids.
 
*********** Washington State's Mike Price told Bob Condotta of the Tacoma News-Tribune that all but one of the Cougars' scholarship players spent the summer in Pullman working out. Shoot, Pullman, Washington's so remote and hard to get to that they could have been scrimmaging every afternoon and nobody'd know. Evidently the one player who went home for the summer was punter Alan Cox, whose absence didn't particularly bother Coach Price: "I told him to punt it real high and real far."
 
*********** It is sometimes difficult to keep an offensive drive going on Cheektowaga Central High's field, in suburban Buffalo. It's not because of fumbles or penalties. It's the jets. I worked at a camp there last week, and frequently found myself having to pause in mid-sentence to wait for a plane taking off from nearby Buffalo-Niagara International Airport to pass overhead. It reminded me of the days when the New York Jets played at Shea Stadium, occsionally interrupted by the roar of real jets taking off from LaGuardia Airport next door. The coaches at Cheektowaga told me that the officials frequently have to hold up their games until a jet passes.
 

 
August 10 - "It irritates me beyond words when I hear someone say, 'take the tough guys - take the athletes - and put them on defense.'" The late Ron Rogerson, head coach at Maine and Princeton, a Delaware Wing-T guy who coached the offensive line

*********** Now, you tell me if this is a good neighbor. Monday, my wife and I got up early to drive to Wells, Nevada, where I had a two-day camp scheduled. It's about a 12-hour drive from Portland, but it's not all that easy to fly there: Boise is more than three hours away as is Salt Lake City. The whole way there, I looked forward to checking into our room and checking my e-mail and updating my web site. Wrong. When we arrived and I began unpacking, I realized to my horror that I had just driven twelve hours without my laptop! Talk about anger! Talk about frustration! Talk about disgust with yourself! Talk about panic! We were scheduled to be gone until Saturday! Now, I have taken a lot of pride in answering my e-mail promptly, and publishing my web site daily, and this took me back to my days with WHAG in Hagerstown, Maryland, where I learned that the one unthinkable thing in the TV business was to "go black" - to have nothing on the screen. And here I was about to go black on my web site. But Tuesday morning, while I was on the field working (if you call that work), my wife managed to get hold of a neighbor, Susan Valaer. Susan and her husband, Dave are a great young couple. Dave flies for the Air National Guard and runs a small company in Portland, while Susan home-schools their four kids. All Susan did was arrange to gain entrance to our house by breaking a window, get the case containing my laptop and haul it and her four kids to the Portland airport, where she arranged to have it packed securely and shipped by FedEx to Elko, Nevada, from where it was delivered to our room in Wells, an hour away, by noon Wednesday. Meantime, Susan also arranged to have the broken window repaired. She saved my bacon, but dismissed it by saying, "that's what neighbors are for." I say, "I didn't know there were neighbors like that any more."

*********** Sunday, I talked with my high school coach, Ed Lawless. He's been retired for some time now, but he's quite sharp, with a great sense of humor, and it's always interesting to get his slant on things. This time he mentioned watching the Pacers play the Lakers, and seeing Dick Harter on the Pacers' bench next to Larry Bird. As athletic director at Germantown Academy, Ed gave Harter his first coaching job. In the mid-70's, Harter's "Kamikaze Kids" brought an excitement to University of Oregon basketball that hasn't been seen there since. (But give the Ducks' Ernie Kent a chance.) Come to think of it, we had some decent basketball coaches at GA: Harter succeeded George Davidson, who went on to coach at Lafayette College; and Davidson succeeded Jack McCloskey, who went on to coach at Penn and Wake Forest before winding up in the NBA as the GM who put together the Pistons' "Bad Boys" dynasty. When I told Ed that Ken Keuffel had retired at Lawrenceville School, he reminisced about the time GA and Lawrenceville met, in 1957, and GA won the battle of the single wings, 3-0. Ed said that as he walked across the field after the game to shake hands, he thought back to ten years before, when Ken played at Princeton and Ed played at Penn, and Ken's last-second field goal upset the unbeaten Quakers and knocked them out of the Top Ten. As they shook hands at midefield, Ken said, "You SOB. I knew you'd get back at me."

*********** A year or so ago, Pitt's AD told anyone who would listen that he had decided that he wanted Pitt to be referred to as Pittsburgh. More dignified, I guess. Army is ditching its mule mascot in favor of a knight on horseback, and calling its teams the Black Knights, rather than the Cadets. There is some precedent to those moves. What happens, though, when Hawaii tries to do something similar? Look out. Hawaii, whose football program is definitely on the climb with June Jones at the controls, is getting hammered by homosexuals and those in the news media who like to make themselves appear enlightened and educated by supporting homosexual causes. Why? Because Hawaii has expressed a wish to be known henceforth as the Warriors. No more "Rainbow" Warriors. The "Rainbow" bit, you see, is often associated with homosexuality. Hawaii AD Hugh Yoshida admitted as much when in an unguarded moment he told Honolulu's KGMB, "That logo (of the Rainbow Warrior) really puts a stigma on our program at times in regards to it's part of the gay community, their flags and so forth. Some of the student athletes had some feelings in regards to that." Also, it has been reported, some recruits. Had it not been for Mr. Yoshida's remarks, the change might have slipped by without incident. All it would have taken was some lame-ass explanation. As it is now, though, it is being called bigoted. "It sends a very bad message, " said Ken Miller, co-chairman of Honolulu's Gay and Lesbian Community Center, "not only to the students but the athletes who happen to be gay and struggling with that issue." Yep, Mr. Miller. It sure does.

*********** Be very careful if someone asks you if you'd like to go see a movie, and "The Broken Hearts Club" is showing. All of its characters are gay.

*********** If you can arrange a little time off, you can get some good deals on flights to Australia and rooms in Sydney right now. Can't say about getting tickets to the Olympics, but American tour packagers vastly overestimated the demand for travel at that time. Seems that they overlooked the fact that the Olympics will be getting under way after school starts in the US. Of course, based on some of the parents I've dealt with, who thought nothing of pulling their kids out of school for a couple of days to go skiing, or going to Disneyland the week after spring break ("the lines are shorter"), I don't understand the problem.
 
*********** Ohio State will retire the numbers of two of its Heisman Trophy winners, the number 31 of Vic Janowicz, and the number 40 of Howard "Hopalong" Cassady. They become only the second and third men to be so honored at Ohio State. QUESTION: Who was the first - and until recently, the only - Buckeye to have had his number (45) retired?
 
*********** Amid all the fuss about the Redskins' charging admission to their practices, a guy wrote to the Buffalo News with a good question: what would you call being charged $40 to watch a pre-season game?
 
*********** For those of you younger guys who may not be aware of such things, it is generally considered a gross breach of football ethics, even in the NFL, to "skunk" another team - to sneak a look at their practice. In many places, it can - and should - get a guy fired. But the Washington Redskins' policy of charging admission to their practices raises a new issue: if a practice is open to anyone with ten dollars in his hand, what is wrong with an opponent paying his way in?

*********** Jim Hawn, a youth coach in northwest Philadelphia, is busy scrambling for sponsors. He needs more uniforms, and so does the rest of his organization. Last year, he had 23 kids on his 75-pound team; this year, he has 60 kids out, allowing him to field both a "varsity" and a "jv " team. The entire organization, the Wissahickon Athletic Association, with 235 kids out compared with 155 last year, expects to field seven teams, from 55 pounds up through 105. All will run the Double-Wing.

August 8 - Missed Due to a Senior Moment
 
August 9 - Missed Due to Senility
 
August 7 - "Run when they think you're going to pass, and pass when they think you're going to run." Jim Sweeney

 

TRIVIA QUESTION: He is a present-day Big Ten coach, but when this picture was taken, prior to the1963 season, he was an outstanding 230-pound Big Sky Conference tackle for Montana State's first-year coach Jim Sweeney
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

*********** Congratulations to Coach Ron Hennig of Louisville, Kentucky and his wife, Leslie, on the birth of their second son, Nathan Manuel, on August 1. Coach Hennig has just taken a job as offensive coordinator at Bullitt Central High in Shepherdstown, Kentucky. Not to say that it's a tough assignment, but he tells me Bullitt Central won only one game last year - and everyone there says they graduated all their talent!

*********** They give themselves earthy names like "Tre Arrow." They live in trees for months at a time, and look and smell the part. They have no visible means of support, which immediately leads to the strong suspicion that they live off the American taxpayers. But look at what they do for us in return. They're trying to save us from those mean, nasty old loggers, who build roads into the forests so they can cut down all our trees and pollute all our streams. True, they are trespassing in our forests and breaking our laws, and when US Forest Service employees try to remove them, they have disgusting things flung at them by the tree creatures. True, they chain themselves to trees to make removal even more difficult, and their screams as they are being dragged away would frighten a mountain lion. And they clog our courts with their pitiful defenses of their actions. BUT THEY'RE DOING THIS FOR ALL OF US! So we shouldn't object to doing a little cleaning up after these nature lovers, should we? How about, as in a recent case in Oregon's Mount Hood National Forest, three one-ton truckloads of garbage and personal property and three open-pit latrines within 100 feet of a stream? How about numerous trees cut down and several unauthorized trails cut through the forest by our little friends? It was all part of the effort, you see to "save" our forests and streams. Sounds like the village in Vietnam that had to be destroyed in order to save it.

*********** Guest Tip: "I have been running your Double wing for 3 years and I have found that it is real helpful to practice the running backs and quarterbacks together and the linemen and ends together in 2 seperate groups, when first learning the system. I usually have the linemen get their proper splits, then with spray paint I mark where the ball is snapped from and I mark the outside foot of the ends. Then from that mark I mark where the backs feet should be. The backs coach will use the painted diagram to run through the plays with just the backs and QB. The line coach can spend more time working on the plays that need more attention to detail that it would from the backs prespective. (Example: 2 Wedge for the backs and QB's is simple, but for the linemen a little more time needs to be spent working on that.) It is always amazing when we have practiced the plays separately for 3 days and then we bring them all together and it is smooth as silk." Tom Manning, Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina

*********** FROM DOWN UNDER - Ed Wyatt, crack correspondent in our award-winning Melbourne Bureau, writes: "Add Australian Rules Football ("Footy") to your Canadian friend's list of sports that reward a miss. In Aussie Rules, the aim is to kick (punt) the ball through the two center posts for a 6-point goal. But if a ball goes between a center post and an outer post, only one point is awarded (it's called a "behind"). And believe me, it's not viewed as a good thing - fans rarely cheer it, and annnouncers treat it with disdain."

 
*********** A Buffalo deli, X-Cel Produce, has signs posted on its walls informing potential customers that they are not welcome if they happen to be "cell-phone-using, sunglass-wearing, liberal lawyers."

*********** As of a week ago, Ohio State had sold 74 of the 80 luxury suites being built as part of the renovation and enlargement of Ohio Stadium. Not that people are eager to get their choice seats to watch the Buckeyes or anything - the suites won't be ready until the 2001 season!

*********** Since the Philadelphia police were raked over the coals recently by the national media for the way they beat the snot out of a thug who put up, shall we say, "strenuous resistance," it is only fair to give them credit for keeping both the city and the Republican Convention functioning last week. I would have bet, after the Seattle police caught hell for their handling of the WTO riots, that there would have been chaos in Philadelphia, but the police there are a little more hard-nosed than those in touchy-feely Seattle, and prepared to take the media heat for pushing a few spoiled rich-kid anarchists around. Philadelphia police chief Timoney, a man with stones, ordered restraint, but he was not about to fall on his sword, in the manner of his counterpart in Seattle, just because his guys were a little tough on protestors. Tunku Varadarajan, writing in the Wall Street Journal, told of passing by some police officers on the street and realizing that things were well in hand when he read their nametags: "Flanagan, Corrigan, Malone, Mulroney. The Irish cop is alive and well. The demonstrators don't stand a chance." The Philadelphia police were well-prepared, and perhaps their strategy of not screwing around but instead stuffing the jails with protestors - it's hard to cripple a city when you're in jail - will serve as an example to the LA police as they gear up for the Demo Convention. (Not that the demonstrators, most of them friends of Alpha Gore as will as the earth, will be taking to the streets in LA with the same zest for disrupting a convention.) Actually, the demonstrators should be happy that the Philly police were around. Without them, things could have grown a little nasty as the children of the wealthy made their way up Broad Street, through largely-Italian South Philly, where people are, shall we say traditional in their values, and not altogether sympathetic to spoiled kids from the suburbs cavorting in the city streets. Mr. Varadarajan explains: "We're in Little Italy. The signs on storefronts read Nicolini, Palazzo, Cavaliere, DiPietro... Marchers get the finger from drivers. Old men look out of windows and shout: 'Get a job, you bums!'" Yes. I am so proud of my hometown.

 

*********** A short hop across the narrow Niagara River from Buffalo is Fort Erie, Ontario, home of the Canadian Ballet. No, we're not talking Swan Lake. That's the name Buffalonians jokingly give to the all-the-way strip joints found on the other side of the border.
August 4 - "Don't work so hard to turn a man. Drive him off. When you turn him, all you do is get your big butt in the hole." Fred Akers
 
TRIVIA ANSWER: They called Jack Curtice "Cactus Jack". Some people called him "Mr. Forward Pass." He coached two teams - one at Utah and one at Stanford - to the national passing title. His 1957 Utah quarterback, Lee Grosscup, was the nation's leading passer, and completed 61 per cent of his passes. He made good use of a delayed shuffle (shovel?) pass on the order of a middle screen, which was popularly known at the time as the "Utah Pass." His 1961 Stanford team set a new record for passes completed in a single season. Chris Burford - who went on to an outstanding career in pro football, led the nation in receiving with 61 catches for 756 yards, while QB Dick Norman led the nation in passing ands total offense. Coach Curtice also knew the running game - he was the first person to win two national rushing titles as well as two national passing titles. His 1961 book, "The Passing Game in Football," is considered a major contribution to the modern passing game. Unfortunately, he did not win at Stanford, actually going 0-10 in 1960, and going 4-6 despite having the best passing team in the country. So following the 1962 season, although managing to finish 5-5 with a 30-13 season-ending victory over arch-rival Cal, Coach Curtice's contract was not renewed. He was replaced by a guy named John Ralston, who would turn out to be a halfway decent coach himself. Answered by: Greg Stout- Thompson's Station, Tennessee... Adam Wesoloski- DePere, Wisconsin... Bert Ford- Huntington Beach, California... Al Andrus - Salt Lake City, Utah
 

*********** I fly a lot, and over the last year or so, I've noticed that I'd get off a plane after a long flight and I'd have a splitting headache. Now, when you live in the upper left-hand corner, near Portland, Oregon, every flight is a long flight, so I've had a lot of headaches. I've tried everything - giving up reading on planes to avoid eyestrain, drinking only bottled water, wearing loose clothing, avoiding beer the night before and, of course, during a flight, wearing one of those inflatable neck cushions, using nasal sprays, etc., etc. I've read a lot lately about the cruddy air in planes and figured maybe that was it. Didn't matter - what are you going to do if you don't like the air in an airplane - hold your breath? And then, while visiting from Durham, North Carolina, my son-in-law Rob Love told me he'd taken to wearing ear plugs when flying. Doggone! I picked up some earplugs in the airport before flying to to the East last week. No problems. I couldn't remember when I'd felt better getting off a plane. Coming home, same thing - I got off the plane at midnight Pacific after having been up since six AM Eastern - and I felt great. Perhaps the headaches have been owing to the fact that although eventually you grow accustomed to the constant roar of the jet engines, they are nevertheless pounding on your eardrums the entire flight.

 
*********** "What we mean by the word 'want' is that you hunger for it. You are willing to to work for it, to earn it, to pay the price for it." D. W. Rutledge, head coach, Converse (Texas) Judson High School
 
*********** "I have succeeded in something amazing. A soccer player quit soccer to play football." Mike Hause, Head Football Coach, Kalamazoo Christian High, Kalamazoo, Michigan
 
*********** It is occuring to me more and more lately that there must be something amiss in the newspaper world. Either that, or the femmies from NOW and the Million Moms and the Oprahs and the Rosie O'Donnells and the Hillary Clintons do not represent as many women as they claim to. How else to explain the growing number of articulate women, many of them young, who write columns so conservative and so heavy on common sense that they are unlikely to be invited to the next Million Moms March? I'm referring to such writers as Maggie Quinlan, Kathleen Parker, Betsy Hart, Michelle Malkin, Linda Chavez , Mona Charen and Debra Saunders. These ladies are smart and they can write. Many of them are members of the Jewish World Review's star-studded list of conservative columnists (www.jewishworldreview.com). The local newspaper in our own neighboring town, Vancouver, Washington is about as shallowly liberal as a piece of paper can get, yet somehow it slipped up and hired a promising young conservative named Elizabeth Hovde to write an occasional editorial.
 
*********** "Hugh, just a quick note to pass on about the XFL in Las Vegas. I was talking to Herb Criner, Asst. AD at Boise State, when he told me that his brother, Jim Criner, head coach Scottish Claymores, Iowa State, Boise State, etc. is the new head coach of the Las Vegas team of the XFL. Tom Mason is the secondary coach and Mark Criner of Portland State and Scot Criner of Northern Arizonia also were hired on. Thought you would find it interesting." Mike Foristiere, Boise, Idaho
 
*********** I don't normally get to spend a lot of time in a town, but for five days wrapped around last weekend, I got to see and do a lot in Buffalo, New York, home of my favorite comedian, Mark Russell. Those whose image of New York pretty much coincides with John Rocker's description of his ride to Shea Stadium need to understand that first of all, as New York's most famuos immigrant, Hillary Clinton is finding out, New Yorkers mentally divide themselves into "The City" or "Upstate." There is little to connect them, other than the fact that they all send their (high) taxes to the same place. One of the reasons why their taxes are so high is that somebody has to work to support all those people in The City who don't. Upstate is towns and villages, mountains and forests, rivers and lakes, hunting and fishing, farms and industrial towns. It is not perfect - it has its dying cities and abandoned factories - but you could pretty much get a taste of the America we'd all like it to be without ever leaving New York State.
 
Buffalo, a good eight hours' drive from The City, is more like Chicago than New York City in its feel. It is midwestern in the accent and the friendliness of its people. It is a Great Lakes city, the original western end of the Erie Canal, the port through which all the produce of all the farms of the Midwest travelled on the way to deepwater, turning New York City into the giant that it is today. It has a rainbow of ethnic groups that started with the European immigrants brought here to build the Canal and later the railroads, and grew even more diverse as others arrived to do the hard, dangerous work in its steel mills that natives refused do. It is a hard-nosed town that loves its sports. It is one of the smaller metropolitan areas to have a professional football franchise, and is home to the NFL Sabres as well. Its International League baseball team, the Bisons, is consistently among the leaders in minor-league attendance. Buffalo has had pro football franchises in three different leagues. (Get ready - that's going to be part of a trivia question.)
 
As you might imagine, Buffalo's ethnic diversity has spawned a lot of good food, too. And good restaurants. It is definitely not an Olive-Garden-near-the-shopping-mall type of town. Buffalo has real, honest-to-God Italians, and real Italian restaurants. And real pizza. They are very proud of their pizza. National pizza chains don't do well here. A favorite food unique to Buffalo - I call it a food because it is not reasonable to call something loaded with horseradish a "delicacy" - is a sandwich called simply "Beef on Weck." Restaurants all over town serve it, and most Buffalonians have their favorite place. My host, Len Kuhn, woudn't think of taking me any place other than Schwabl's in West Seneca. Beef on Weck is hot sliced roast beef piled on kummelweck, a very salty roll evidently German in origin but possibly Polish, and topped with a generous dose of horseradish. (Buffalonians would reject any horseradish that didn't bore holes in their sinuses.)
 
And, of course, there are the now-famous Buffalo wings. Although they are generally rather hot (that's pepper-sauce hot), I guess it is okay to call them a delicacy. They were originally cooked up at a Buffalo tavern called the Anchor, as an improvised late-night snack made from whatever happened to be on hand at the time. It was the misfortune of chickens everywhere that the owner siezed on a supply of chicken wings to make his snack, first cooking them, then slathering them with hot sauce and serving them with celery sticks on the side. Someone, possibly as a way of cooling off the heat of the sauce, decided to dip the wings in blue cheese dressing and - voila! - a classic American dish that now can be enjoyed in the farthest reaches of America, delivered to you along with your pizza. Uh oh. Don't get Buffalonians going on the subject of the kind of wings you get when you leave western New York. Buffalo guys talking wings is like Wisconsin guys talking "brats" (bratwurst), Baltimore guys talking hard crabs, or Philly guys talking hoagies: outsiders don't know what they're doing, so they shouldn't even bother trying. Why, I was told by some dinner companions, they have heard of places (outside Buffalo, of course) where you order "Buffalo" wings and they serve them with RANCH DRESSING! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? RANCH DRESSING! They shook their heads in dismay and disbelief. It was as if a bunch of Maine lobstermen were sitting around after a hard day at sea discussing someone putting ketchup on his lobster. The Anchor is still there, and it is always packed. It goes through tons of wings satisfying the appetites of the locals and, now, tourists. The ultimate irony, though, is that the Anchor finished second in a local newspaper's ranking of this year's "Best Places to Get Wings." (The winner probably bought a bigger ad.)
 
The first camp where I worked was in the town of West Seneca, at one of its two high schools, this one named, seemingly a redundancy, West Seneca West. (The other is, of course, West Seneca East). My host was Jim Kuhn, going into his second year at West after having turned the JV program around at rival East. (JV teams in New York state are often run independently of varsity programs and JV head coaches get considerable experience in running their own team; once a JV player plays as much as one quarter in a varsity game, he must sit out the next two JV games before returning to play JV ball, so there is little movement back and forth between the teams.) In 1996, as the first-year JV coach at East, his alma mater, Coach Kuhn was in the process of going 0-8, dutifully running the varsity coach's program, when in the final game, he ran a little Double-Wing from what he'd seen described in my article in Scholastic Coach. Following the season, he asked - and received - the varsity coach's permission to run the Double-Wing, and to learn more about it, attended my Cleveland clinic, which was where I first met him. He was accompanied there by his dad, Len, himself a former coach and and another story entirely. That fall, Jim's team went 4-4, and in 1998 went 7-1. So when the West job came open, it would have seemed the perfect opportunity, except that as an East grad and coach, he had reservations about going over to the enemy. After some deliberation, though, he took the job, and in his first year, 1999, he began to get things turned around. West went 3-5, narrowly missing a couple more wins. Most important of all, though, he established himself as a West guy, defeating East, 21-6. Most of his players return, as does a young, energetic staff. Coach Kuhn coordinates his own offense, with the able assistance of line coach Mark Kwalic. Also assisting him are Dan Chavanne, Len Kuhn and Jim Marino on the varsity, Joe Cantafio and Dave Recor on the JV team, and Mike Barone, coach of the "modified" (7th & 8th-grade) team. Coach Kuhn's kids ran the offense well while I was there. Even more important, though, they reflected a coachability and discipline that can only occur when coaches have worked at it. We started bright and early, and the players were all able to quote for me the program's guide to punctuality: "IF YOU'RE EARLY, YOU'RE ON TIME... IF YOU'RE ON TIME, YOU'RE LATE... IF YOU'RE LATE, YOU'VE FORGOTTEN." Showing that we are teaching young men lessons such as that, of course, is the way we justify to taxpayers the money that they spend on sports. West looks good, but West plays in New York's largest classification, 2A, in a league which contains such perennial powers as Jamestown, Lancaster and Orchard Park (another Double-Wing team) and no cupcakes, so Coach Kuhn, while optimistic, is making no promises.
 
Following the West Seneca West camp, I moved a short distance to Cheektowaga, another Buffalo suburb, where head coach Chuck Tilley had set up a camp for his kids and invited another Double-Wing school, Amherst, to join in. Coach Tilley set up an ambitious schedule of two days of football for the kids, with an evening clinic for the coaches of both schools sandwiched in between. Using the same terminology made it possible for the two schools to benefit equally from the camp, in which three Cheektowaga teams and two Amherst teams ran just about everything it is possible to run from the Double-Wing. I had a chance to meet Coach Tilley's staff at a get-together the evening before camp, which certainly made it easy working together over the next few days. Like other coaches' wives everywhere, Gloria Tilley deserved our thanks for taking care of the kids while we met, but she merits special praise. Shortly before Chuck began his first season at Cheektowaga, Gloria gave birth prematurely to twin boys, one of whom has Down's Syndrome and the other of whom is autistic. They are active little boys with special needs, and with two other kids, all four under the age of six, Gloria, a former teacher herself, is now a full-time mom. She and Chuck are remarkable people, and without her strength and support, Chuck wouldn't be able to be a football coach. Assisting Chuck on the varsity are Jeff Kuemmel and Doug Schlotterbeck (talk about cozy - Doug, the defensive coordinator, is Chuck's boss as chairman of the social studies depertment); at the JV level, the coaches are Scott Zipp and Luke Silliman; the "modified" coaches are Mike Fatta, Dave Cunningham and Mike Accurso. Cheektowaga, a class B school of about 800 kids, looks pretty tough to me. There is impressive size and good speed. At Amherst, an affluent suburb where the football program has been down, head coach Kevin Lester finds himself in a turnaround situation. His staff is bright and hard-working, but his kids are young and largely inexperienced. On hand at the camp were coaches Jason Beckman, Mike Chatelle and Dave Mansell. Coach Beckman coordinates the offense.
 
At lunch one day, one of the West Seneca West coaches asked me if there was any place I'd put on a clinic or camp that I disliked so much that I'd never go back. I'd never thought about it that way, but after only a minute or two of consideration, I realized that the answer was a clear "No." I've never been any place I wouldn't return to. I suspect the reason is that when you're fortunate enough to do the things I'm doing, you get to work with great guys wherever you go -positive, enthusiastic men who like working with kids and love the game of football as much as you do - and you get to work with kids who want to play the game. How can you not like that, no matter where your travels take you? Go back to Buffalo? In a heartbeat.
 
PHOTOS OF BUFFALO CAMPS AND THE TOP-SECRET CFL HALL OF FAME!
August 3 - "Don't worry about the next job. Just worry about the one you've got." Dick Vermeil
 
TRIVIA QUESTION (LAST DAY): They called him "Cactus Jack", and in the 1950's and early 60's he was probably college football's foremost proponent of the forward pass. He coached at Utah and Stanford, and at both places he had teams that led the nation in passing. His 1961 book, "The Passing Game in Football," is considered a major contribution to the modern passing game.
 
*********** Portland Trail Blazer's owner - and Microsoft billionaire - Paul Allen has donated $11.5 million to something called SETI Institute, to search for life on other planets. I can understand being interested in that stuff, but isn't it enough to own an NBA team?
 
*********** Without getting you involved too deeply in English literature, part of Jonathan Swift's novel "Gulliver's Travels" pokes fun at people who, no matter how trivial and insignificant their affairs may seem to outsiders, nevertheless manage somehow to spend a great deal of time and energy fighting over them. Their present-day equivalents are the petty politicians that infest certain youth sports organizations. This past winter, a friend and Double-Wing coach found himself on the outs with one of these "commissioner" types that we all occasionally run into, and wound up being expelled from the league. Banished! Like Shoeless Joe Jackson! But instead of skulking off and just getting lost, his response was to go out and raise the funds to equip his own team, and find another league to play in. It hasn't been easy, but he's almost over the hump. He writes, "Our team is coming together at a frantic pace. We purchased 60 sets of gear and it's starting to arrive. We plan suit-ups this weekend so I hope it all arrives in time. We have 60 kids signed up for two divisions that start practice this Monday. My team will have 33 kids at the 5th and 6th grade level. I've recruited some good coaches who are motivated and I hope will be loyal. Everything is starting to cook. The old league we played in has done much to discredit us. Calling our players and telling them untruths about us. Posing as officials of our team and having some ads pulled from our local weekly. They even called the (local HS) AD trying to get them to refuse us a playing field. We've taken the high ground and for the most part have ignored it all. I think it p----s them off more when we don't react to it. I hope they see it's useless and give up because they don't know our resolve to succeed." (Even before the "resolve" came the "stones.")
 
*********** "Hugh, I did watch the (Monday Night) game and found Dennis Miller's comments to be absurd, trite, and generally awful. An example: " Did you know in Canton you can't find good "Canton"ese food?" Also there was a comment about the Pope trying to catch a pass over the middle to which Michaels responded, " if the Pope ever caught a pass over the middle in about two weeks they would be burning white smoke over the Vatican" sic. ABC should be ashamed of the entire production. The entire effort was very low class. One person's opinion." Jack Tourtillotte, Boothbay Harbor, Maine (Incidentally, the ratings of Monday Night's Hall of Fame game broadcast and the much-hyped debut of Dennis Miller were down more than 25 per cent from last year's Hall of Fame game.)
 
*********** Now, this is a guy after my own heart! Jim Hanley is a lawyer in Houston (okay, okay - I apologize for some of the things I've said about lawyers - he probably didn't get a nickel from the tobacco companies). He's also a football coach at Cypress Community Christian School, a small Houston high school. He recently wrote a letter to me on his law firm's stationery and signed it "James J. Hanley - Attorney at Law AND High School Football Coach!"
 
*********** "There's a lot of talk these days about teaching ethics in the schools, and even spirituality. Well, why not? Of course, this is a matter of belief, rather than just simple reason or philosophy. But, if you really believe that there is a side of humankind that is spiritual, that there is something called a soul, that there is a destiny called eternal&emdash;if these are beliefs that are enormously helpful to everybody&emdash;then why say, 'We'll teach everything but this'? Because it's a foundation for honesty, for truth, for doing what's right, even if no one sees what you're doing. It's conscience, if you will." Father Theodore Hesburgh
 
*********** Hey, pal - just because you think the summer weather is delightful in Bangkok, I mean, Orlando... A sportswriter in Orlando named Tim Povtak recently took a shot at Jerry Krause, the Bulls, and a lot of other things Chicago. Krause, we're told, has been having trouble rebuilding the Bulls in part because of "the unwarranted arrogance the entire city has developed," as a result of their being lucky enough to have had Michael Jordan. And on top of that, he says,"miserable weather and corrupt politicians would seem to make it an undesirable place for anyone to live." Okay, Povtak, if you can hear me over the drone of your air conditioner on this hot, muggy August day in Orlando: I have spent a fair amount of time in Chicago over the last few years, and I have talked with a lot of people. They are/were very proud of the Bulls and understood quite well how blessed they were to have had Michael Jordan in their city. I never detected any arrogance. What I detected was passion. Passion for all their teams, and not just the Bulls. The people in the entire area - not just the city of Chicago - love their teams, notwithstanding the fact that for the most part, the teams have not repaid their affection with a great deal of success. As for Chicago being an undesirable place to live because of miserable weather and corrupt politicians, I figure the weather is a matter of opinion, and the corruption of a city's politicians is about as big a factor in most professional athletes' decisions on where to live as the quality of its string quartets. But Mr. Povtak might want to contact Michael Jordan to ask him why, with all the money in the world and nothing to hold him there, he still makes his home in Chicagoland.
 
*********** Governor Airhead. Former Governor Ann Richards of Texas, a Democrat who is a former governor because she got her liberal butt kicked by George W. Bush, has seldom been at a loss for something to say. Even when it's downright stupid. She was on CNN last night, complaining about the Republican Convention: "It is so-o-o-o-o political." Well, now, ex-governor, you know more about these things than I do, but wouldn't you sort of expect a political convention to be a little political? When Jack Kemp challenged her on it, she said, "I said predictable." Uh-uh, honey chile. You ain't gettin' off that easy. I done heard you! 
August 2 - "Life is not a spectator sport." Jackie Robinson
 
*********** With all the investigations into the suspicion that baseball's home run binge may be caused by livelier baseballs, most people in baseball management and in the news media have been tap dancing around the strong likelihood that the ball may not be the only thing that's juiced up. Frederick Klein, of the Wall Street Journal, is not one of them. He writes of "the suspicion, grown to a certainty in some quarters, that some players are using steroids to get a front seat on the home-run bandwagon."
 
Have you seen some of these guys lately? They look as if they are AWOL from an NFL training camp. Kevin Towers, GM of the San Diego Padres, told Klein, "I can't exactly say who's doing it, but there's no doubt in my mind that steroid use is prevalent in baseball." He tells of watching a videotape of the 1985 World Series, "and it hit me how different the players looked from the players today. I mean, the old-timers looked like stick figures. They were like a different species from the guys playing today."
 
Baseball has sent inspectors to the ball factories in Costa Rica to see if anything's being done differently. It has ordered lab tests of the balls, which keep coming back saying that nothing's changed. But what's it doing about looking into the possibility of wide-spread use of steroids? 0. That's a zero. First of all, under baseball's labor agreement, only "admitted or detected (busted) drug users" can be tested. Furthermore, all they can be tested for is so-called "recreational drugs" - cocaine, marijuana, amphetamines, opiates and PCP. But not for illegal drugs that undermine the very integrity of the game. So who's looking out for the good of the game? Not the Player's Union. It sees its role as protecting players' jobs, no matter how heinous an offense they might commit. Not the owners. Their position differs only slightly from the Union's - they don't want to protect players who commit heinous offenses - unless they need them to win.
 
Klein notes the inconsistency in baseball's banishment of Pete Rose - who by betting on his team is said to have committed a "crime against the game" - and its head-in-the-sand refusal to deal with the possibility that many of its players are committing an even greater crime against the game.
 
*********** Canton, it ain't. Straight to the top of the Lame List goes the Canadian Football Hall of Fame. The CFL says it gets no respect, eh? Well, how much of that, I wonder, is its own doing? How about a Hall of Fame that you can't find? It's almost harder to find it than to get voted in. I didn't see anything about it on the CFL's web site, but I recalled reading in an old publication that it was in Hamilton, Ontario. Being in Buffalo this past weekend, only an hour or so from Hamilton, I figured I'd take my chances. If it were still there, I'd know. There would be all sorts of signs directing me to it. Anybody on the street could direct me to it. It was, after all, the Hall of Fame of Canada's own brand of football. Unless it had moved. Actually, based on my experience, it might as well have, since when I drove there on Sunday nobody in Hamilton seemed to know where it was, assuming that they even knew it was there (few did). There are no signs indicating to anyone that they might consider leaving the freeway (Queen Elizabeth Way) to visit it. I finally found the address in the Yellow Pages, under "Museums." but once I found the address it was still hard to find, because the address says it is on one street but the entrance is on a cross street, and Hamilton is so laid out with one-way streets that is you miss the one you want you wind up making a Great Circle. Once you find it, there are precious few parking spaces for the public. Fortunately, there were plenty of empty spaces when I got there. Unfortunately, they were empty because the stupid place was CLOSED! ON A SUNDAY! All around Hamilton the highways were jammed with people going to one place or another to have fun on a Sunday afternoon, but we wouldn't want them to stop in and visit our museum now, would we? And talk about banker's hours - even when they are open - from Tuesday through Saturday - they close at 4:30. (Actually, I'll bet they start shooing people out at 4:15 so they can lock up and be out of there by 4:31.) It only cost me a a one-day car rental and a couple of hours of my time, and it gave me an excuse to drive by Niagara Falls for the first time in years; but guys, here those people in the CFL are, supposedly struggling to keep their league viable, and they can't even bring themselves to open up their shrine to the public on one of the busiest days of the week. Respecting the sanctity of the Canadian Sabbath? Tell that to all those church-goers in their cars out on Queen Elizabeth Way. Oh. And one thing more - move. You are only as important as people perceive that you are, and although Hamilton is extremely important in the history of Canadian football, that doesn't warrant hiding your Hall of Fame in the heart of a decaying downtown which has little else to offer a visitor, and which doesn't seem to take all that much pride in having the Hall of Fame there, anyhow. If the CFL has bothered to tell Hamilton that it's there.
 
*********** I wouldn't want to say that Buffalo is obsessed with the Bills, but it did seem unusual to hear what amounted to "groin updates" following Doug Flutie's training camp injury. And I really did hear it called "breaking news" when they came on the TV sports show to tell us that Mr. Flutie had not just pulled, he had torn, his groin.
 
*********** Based on what I heard on Buffalo talk radio and in speaking with numerous Buffalonians, they are divided into three groups" those who thought Flutie got screwed; those who think Flutie is a pain in the ass; and those who don't care who quarterbacks the Bills, so long as they win. And all three groups are quite vocal.
 
*********** Buffalo's minor league baseball team plays in a really slick looking stadium right in downtown, and has drawn over 1 million fans in a season several times. The team is called the Bisons. That's pronounced locally - I kid you not - "BYE-zuns."
 
*********** In his stretch run for a legacy, The Man From Hope is starting another school-lunch program. We already have one, you say? Sure do. But what about poor nations in Africa, Asia and Latin America? Listen to one justification put forward: if the kids get fed, they will go to school. If they get educations, they will be more likely to buy American-made goods (those that we still manufacture n America, that it) and less likely to let their kids work in sweatshops. No kidding.
 
*********** Buca di Beppo, a restaurant in Cheektowaga, New York, must know what attracts local diners. It advertises,"Italian Food and Sanitary Bathrooms."
 
*********** Based on a three-month-long study by the Drug Enforcement Administration, it is estimated that one in ten Baltimoreans - or about 60,000 people - are drug addicts!
 
*********** Hmmm. Jason Williams, who as most people know, thanks to a Nike ad, was a high school teammate of Randy Moss back in Belle, West Virginia, had a shaky college background that included two failed drug tests and two different colleges - Florida, which booted him out, and Marshall - in two seasons. And then suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, he appeared in the Sacramento Kings' lineup, a white Magic who could do amazing things with the basketball. Unfortunately, though, the resemblance to Magic seems to end there. Williams tested positive for marijuana last October, and now the knucklehead has failed to attend the counseling sessions called for in league policy.
 
August 1 - "We never add plays unless there is a real purpose in including them in the attack. Too many plays needlessly complicate the offensive players." Bud Wilkinson
 

*********** "All this negativity that's in this town sucks," said Boston Celtics' Rick Pitino in a fit of temper following a game last season. Some would say he has a point. During last spring's McDonald's All-Star game in Boston's Fleet Center - successor to the Boston Garden - a 7-foot-6 high school basketball player from nearby Worcester missed a dunk. His effort was rewarded by boos from the crowd of over 18,000. Says the Patriots quarterback, Drew Bledsoe, "There is a sense in Boston that it's almost something to take pride in to be nasty." Former Red Sox relief pitcher Dick Radatz remembers Boston as "the greatest place to play if you win and the toughest if you lose." Once the American League's top relief pitcher, Radatz recalls how as a rookie he had gone more than 20 innings without allowing a run. Until finally, when he was brought in against the Yankees with the base loaded, Moose Skowron managed barely to get his bat on a ball and sneak it through the infield, knocking in the tying and winning runs. Radatz was roundly booed as he walked off the mound, and when he arrived in the dugout, veteran third baseman Frank Malzone said to him, "Tough town, huh kid?"

 
"Is it a tough town?" responded UConn basketball coach Jim Calhoun when asked about his hometown, Boston? "Yeah, it's a tough town," he told the Boston Globe. "It's a very judgmental town because they love their teams. And when you have love, there are two parts - the othr part is hate. The one thing you have to do in Boston is succeed. And if you do, they'll put you on top of the Pru." As for Pitino, former Boston Bruin Adam Oates sounded more like a Boston fan himself: "Pitino was out of line as far as I'm concerned. Look at the product. It sucks, and it's because of him."
 
*********** Following my observation that Rainier Beer, sadly nearing extinction in its home state of Washington, was being advertised in Canada, I received this reply from Coach Kyle Wagner, an Albertan. See if you can detect a distinctly anti-American flavpor to his e-mail: : "They have been putting a lot of advertising dollars into Alberta as you mentioned. They have Radio, Print, and Billboard ads all over. However, I have never witnessed a person drinking that brand ANYWHERE in Alberta. Most people would only buy it if there were only 2 beers left in the world; Rainer and Olympia (another Washington beer-HW). If it were only Olympia left I think cooking wine sales would increase dramatically. As an aside, Molson's Breweries has a huge and successful marketing campaign in their "I AM CANADIAN!" slogan (A campaign for Molson's "Canadian" brand in which a guy begins ranting about all the things that make him distinctly Canadian - which is to say, not an American. HW). I was at a hockey game this winter when a commericial came on the the scoreboard proclaiming why Canada is the best country in the world. The last time I heard that kind of noise in the Coliseum was when Gretzky was scoring goals as an Oiler. Here is the web address for it: http://www.adcritic.com/content/molson-canadian-i-am.html (Lemme tell you - adcritic.com is a great web site! HW) Some time ago you talked about the Canadian Rules for football. I am not sure if you mentioned that it may be the only sport that rewards a team for MISSING a goal or target. When kickers here miss a field goal and it goes out through the end zone or is downed in the end zone by the opposing team a point is awarded to the kicking team. Well it is why I can proudly proclaim I AM CANADIAN! I seem to suddenly find my self parched for a cold beer and I am not sure why?"  
 
*********** Uh-oh. Here comes that gender gap thing again, this time from another angle. The number of black women who graduated from college with a bachelor's degree increased by 80 per cent from 1987 to 1997, the last year for which figures are available. The number of black males graduating with bachelor's degrees increased in the same period by 30 per cent, a respectable figure, but well short of the gains shown by the women.
 
*********** Arizona State is getting a new AD. And the new AD is getting a new helper. Well, not new exactly. He kinda knows his way around ASU, having been their football coach for 22 years, from 1958 until his firing in 1979. He's Frank Kush, for those of you who never knew the man as a coach, and ASU has hired him as Special Assistant to the Athletic Director. His job will be to rally corporate and alumni support for ASU athletics - especially football, which has taken a big hit from the presence of the NFL Cardinals. There are only so many dollars to spend on sports in any market, and in Phoenix, the smallest market to have four major pro franchises, ASU, once the only game in town, has been hurt financially. Coach Kush, who brought Arizona State from small-school status to national contention, was 176-54-1 in his 22 years there, and despite the nastiness of the accusations which led to his firing, is still well very thought-of in Phoenix.
 
*********** The way things are going, about 27 per cent of Seattle's upcoming seniors ("rising seniors" as they call them in the South) will not graduate next spring, when new district graduation policies will have gone into effect. The new policies call for an overall 2.0 GPA in required courses. Wow. Harsh. Seattle "educators," like their counterparts elsewhere in the country, really thought that kids would get the message when "the bar was raised" (and not very high and that) and would work harder. Just to show how well those guys in the ivory towers know today's kids: at one high school, Rainier Beach, only 70 per cent are likely to graduate. And the juniors and sophomores don't sound as if they've got the word yet, either: only 59 per cent of juniors and 48 per cent of sophomores are now on course to graduate.
 
*********** I was doing a clinic Monday night and missed most of Monday Night Football, so I am not qualified to say whether Dennis Miller sucked. I heard just a few things he said, and was only mildly enraged when he attempted to disparage the stadium arrangement by saying that the sidelines were tight - so tight, "it's starting to look like a high school stadium." What makes me think he has never been inside a high school stadium - including when he was in high school?
 
*********** Aargh. Did somebody spill a little black dye down at the football pants factory when they were making the Patriots pants? What the heck shade of "blue" is that? Whatever happened to the red? Didn't the colors red, white and blue once have some connection with the nickname? Those new uniforms are absolutely the drabbest, most lifeless things I have seen this side of a pile of dead mackerels. Patriots? If Betsy Ross had designed a flag using those colors, we'd all be sipping tea and playing cricket.

July 31 - "It's a game that can't be played with diagrams on a tablecloth. You have to get down on the ground with the other fellow and find out who's the best man." Steve Owen
 
TRIVIA QUESTION: They called him "Cactus Jack", and in the 1950's and early 60's he was probably college football's foremost proponent of the forward pass.
 
*********** Rob Tiffany, one of my sons-in-law, was having lunch with his boss recently when two men approached their table. One, it turned out, was a former employee of his boss. He introduced the guy with him as "my partner." Rob's boss, obviously not too savvy about today's "lifestyles", said, "I didn't realize you'd gone into business for yourself."
 
*********** Matt Doherty recently slipped out of the remaining four years of a five-year contract to coach basketball at Notre Dame in order to take the head coaching job at North Carolina. In terms of basketball, North Carolina commands far more prestige than Notre Dame, it will pay him a lot more when such things as shoe contracts, camps and endorsements are figured in, and it is his alma mater. So, to replace him, Notre Dame hired Delaware's Mike Brey, who had just agreed to a five-year extension on his contract. But, of course, Notre Dame offers more prestige, better shoe contracts, more lucrative camp opportunities, etc. Great. Coaches do this all the time. But what about the players who get shafted? Once those kids signed those letters of intent to Notre Dame or Delaware or wherever, they were locked in. Now, the only way those kids can transfer to another school and play is to sit out a year. Hey - they're not the ones who signed five-year contracts. They're not the ones raking in the bucks because of the shoes they have to wear. The Wall Street Journal has it right: either give players the same freedom to move that their coaches - despite being under contract - seem to have, or else require coaches who leave before their contracts are up to sit out a year before they can resume coaching.
 
*********** A guy named Harry Stein has written a book called "How I Accidentally Joined the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy," in which he converted to conservatism after years of being a flaming liberal. He says that you, too might be a potential member of Hillary's "Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy" (you know, the one that she said was out to get Bill, back in the days when a few people still didn't think she knew what was going on) if: You hear somebody talking about morality, and you don't automatically assume he's some kind of sexually-suppressed religious nut; you sit all the way through "Dead Man Walking" and you still want the guy executed; Christmas comes and it occurs to you that there may be some religious connection; You find it impossible to convince yourself that cheating on your wife is an addiction; at back-to-school night at your kids' school, you realize that the only teacher who shares your values is the PE teacher.
 
*********** Lafayette, Louisiana hasn't had snow since 1988. Down there in Cajun country, ice is used to chill drinks. But the citizens in and around the capital of Acadiana - the region of South Louisiana where many of the people claim French ancestry - love their local minor-league hockey team, the Ice Gators. The team has been a smash hit at the gate. Some might say it has something to do with the fact that the folks of Acadiana can indentify with French-Canadian players. But a local fan offered a more plausible explanation:"Invite 10,000 Cajuns anywhere, serve 'em beer, tell 'em there's going to be a fight, and they'll fill the place up."
 
*********** "In our handbook, I wrote to our parents, 'We tell our players we love them all the time. If knowing that, your kids can't come to us with their problems without getting you involved for a 'conference' every two days, then what in the world are they going to tell the drug dealers and criminals out there who are pushing everything in the world on them with an incredible amount of peer pressure?'" Coach Billy Bosworth, Louisville, Kentucky
 
*********** Back in May, Al Fracassa, coach at Brother Rice High in Birmingham, Michigan, outside Detroit, was honored by an appreciation dinner attended by over 400 people. Although he was not retiring, his many friends and former players from his 31 years at Brother Rice decided it was time to honor him, and presented him with the keys to a new Lexus GS 300. Coach Fracassa, 67, whose overall record in 40 years as a head coach is 291-75-7, including five state championships, told the Detroit Free Press, "I told them I'm not retiring, but they said they wanted to do something for me while I can still walk and talk. Now the pressure's on. I've got to win some games this year."
 
*********** With the Republican National Convention getting under way today, it is important for those of you who say that there isn't a dime's worth of difference between the parties to get set straight on something. A recent Zogby poll has unearthed the startling information that Republicans favor Coke over Pepsi by 45 per cent to 33 per cent, while Pepsi in favored by Democrats, 41 per cent to 33 per cent. Not that there's a whole lot of principle involved here: Pepsi, no doubt because it outbid Coke, is the official soft drink of the Republican National Convention.

July 28 - "If we are to turn the corner and begin to reverse the flood of problems facing our nation's young people, I am convinced that a spiritual reawakening will have to be a major part of the solution." Tom Osborne
 
TRIVIA ANSWER: Murray Warmath played guard at Tennessee in General Bob Neyland's single wing, and after graduation served on the General's staff. He also served as an assistant to Colonel Earl "Red" Blaik at Army, along with a young Fordham graduate named Vince Lombardi. He took the head job at Minnesota in 1954, and his 1960 Gophers, despite being upset by Washington in the Rose Bowl. were voted national champions. His 1961 team, although not expected to be nearly as tough, nevertheless returned to the Rose Bowl, this time defeating UCLA. He was voted AFCA Coach of the Year. His quarterback in both Rose Bowls was Sandy Stephens. Stephens, who died recently, was a black man who counted among his numerous "firsts" being the first black quarterback to start in the Rose Bowl. Coach Warmath remained at Minnesota throuogh the 1971 season. (Correctly Identifying Coach Warmath: Kevin McCullough- Lakeville, Indiana... Adam Wesoloski- De Pere, Wisconsin... Mark Kaczmarek- Davenport, Iowa...)
 
***********Gary Garland, who as AD was my boss at Washougal, Washington, is an Idaho guy. He is a native of Caldwell, Idaho, and coached in such places as Lakeland and Moscow (pronounced MOSS-koe in these parts) before coming to Washougal, where he coached until 1994. He wouldn't want me using any names, but he told me of a guy he knew back in Idaho who had suffered through two really tough years, and the stress had gotten to him to the point where he had developed an uncontrollable twitch in one of his eyes. Finally deciding he'd had enough, he decided to hand in his resignation. The superintendent's office was on the other side of the football field, and, he told Gary, by the time he'd hand-delivered his letter of resignation and returned to the high school, the twitch was gone.
 
*********** Dick Butkus was one heck of a football player - maybe the hardest hitter ever to play the game. But he has never done anything to impress me with his qualifications to coach, unless you consider playing one on TV. He portrays (I guess you'd call it acting) a coach on some crummy sitcom. Nevertheless, he has been given a real coaching job - he will be the head coach of the XFL's Chicago franchise. Frankly, I consider this something of a step backward for the XFL, because up until this move, I thought that it was serious about playing pro football. Now, "Coach" Butkus may sell a ticket or two just on the strength of his good name in Chicago, but he isn't going to be out on the field, and he seems either ignorant or disdainful of what the job of a football coach entails. "How difficult is it?" he asked, dishonoring football coaches at every level. "You just get the guys there and demand they work hard and let the chips fall where they may." If he really believes that, I can understand why this is his first coaching job. And why it will probably be his last.
 

*********** Following are the first three paragraphs of Coach Dana X. Bible's "Championship Football," (Prentice-Hall, 1947). Written at a time when all those "Greatest Generation" guys had just returned from fighting World War II, and now, older and harder, were attending college on the G.I. Bill and kicking some serious ass on the football fields of America, it is just as true of our sport today as it was then. Show it to your principal or A.D. the next time they start hinting about "all those guys walking the halls who ought to be playing football."

"As the name implies, this is to be a book about football. That means it will be a book about individual techniques and skills,team maneuvers and coaching problems. It will concern offense and defense - blocking and tackling. it will stress headwork, footwork, teamwork and HARD WORK.

 
"Regrettably we are unable to present, for relaxed and comfortable absorption, 'An Easy Way to Play Football.' It isn't that kind of game. It is a hard game for hardy characters - for boys who are tough in body and in spirit. Players, coaches and team who tried to take the easy way have come to grief through the years.
 
"So often that it became a byword with the players, we have emphasized to our teams: You cannot reap the benefits of football without paying the premiums. Premiums are paid in the form of strenuous and often punishing physical effort, in self-denial of luxuries and leisure, in the subordination of self-interest for the good of the team. Played wholeheartedly, football is a self-satisfying outlet for the rugged, courageous boy who likes physical contact. Played halfheartedly, football is a waste of time and energy. Football is no halfway game. To play it, you have to get 'wet all over.'"
 
*********** Stones Award: "Coach - Part of my time this summer has been taking my 4 1/2 year old to a baseball clinic for 4-5 year olds in my dear city. Though there is not much you can do other than hit off a tee with this group it has been fun. Well a new kid showed up this last week. Let me remind you that these are little guys. Anyway, the majority of kids have a mitt and ball cap. My little guy has cleats that his older brother had been saving for him for about 12 years. Anyway a new kid shows up and his dad has him in baseball glove, baseball pants, a batting glove, new cleats, a batting helmet, wristbands and some sort of pad (like a "rip pad" that the lineman used to wear in the old days) on his forearm. Did I forget to say he had an aluminum bat? Again, this kid was 5 years olds at the most. Well you should have heard this guy yell at this son. It was abhorrent! Not being one to shy away from a bad situation, I reminded this man that these are still kids and he should be a little more patient and that he should demonstrate what he wants the kid to do instead of yell at him. He asked me quite tersely, "What are you, some type of coach or something?" I said that as a matter of fact I am and have been doing it for almost 15 years now. He kind of looked away and never made eye contact with me again that morning. I had half a dozen parents, who had not talked to me before this incident, come to me after practice and thanked me for saying something to this jerk. So in my humble opinion, this guy was not competitive nor even close to being a bonafide sports parent. He was trying to live vicariously through his youngster and not doing a good job at it." John Torres, Manteca, California 
July 27 - "It's not what you know, it's what you teach." A. W. Hobt, Professor of Physical Education at the University of Tennessee (in advice that he gave years ago to Coach Bobby Dodd)
 
TRIVIA: (New Clues) Not a military man himself, he played his college football under a famous General (Neyland) at Tennessee and served as an assistant to a famous Colonel (Blaik) at Army. As a head coach, he took his Minnesota team to two straight Rose Bowl appearances, in 1961 and 1962. Minnesota hasn't been back there since.
 
*********** Not that I watch that much pro football anyhow, but it appears that one of the reasons why I don't watch much of it is going to be around a little longer. I am talking about Pat Summerall's announcement that he will continue to work a couple more seasons. Now, I think I can remember when Summerall was pretty good. I know I can remember when his partner, John Madden, offered a fresh and semi-interesting approach to analysis. But for some time they have both been kept alive by the effusive praise of their colleagues, turned into broadcast zombies who exist largely because the viewing public can't decide for itself whether announcers are any good. Instead, like the populace in The Emperors' New Clothes, they depend on the "experts" in the business to decide for them. And among the experts, it seems as if you can't find employment until you can read the eye chart that says. "Pat Summerall and John Madden are the best ever." Personally, I think the guy is deadly dull. Ever heard him "call" a touchdown? He makes it sound as exciting as digging for clams. When Summerall is calling a game, you could turn your back to the TV to make a sandwich and you'd miss two touchdowns.
 
*********** In 1995, Robert Putnam, a Harvard political scientist, published an essay called "Bowling Alone," in which he argued that we were coming unglued as a society. Important social institutions were breaking down or disappearing. He chose as his title a major change he had observed, a change that symbolized society's breakdown: Americans may still bowl, but they bowl alone, or with their kids. But yhey no longer bowl in leagues. Now, he has expanded his thesis into a full-length book by the same title. He argues that we are affected by an overall apathy that is reflected in such things as church attendance, union membership, membership in bridge clubs, blood donating and voting. (In the latter case, some states have even gone so far to cater to the antisocial and the apathetic by conducting elections entirely by mail.) Kids skateboard or sit in front of a video game, rather than playing team games, and even favor watching wrestling and the X-Games over conventional team sports. Families avoid doing routine things like eating meals together, then try to make it all up in one-week orgies by going to Hawaii, or Florida or Disneyland. Or they just admit defeat and go on separate vacations. Young businesspeople go out of their way to avoid personal contact, clearly preferring to interact by e-mail, to leave a message on someone's voice mail rather than talk to them on the phone. Why? Mr. Putnam doesn't buy the common argument that it's the pressure of time. He points out that the least pressured are also the least social, the least socially-responsible. It's not rootlessness, either: Americans actually moved more in the 1950's than we do now. Nor is it urban sprawl: the disconnect is across-the-board, in small towns, suburbs and cities. What Mr. Putnam has noticed is that this is a generational thing. It is not a matter of people changing their habits. People haven't suddenly dropped going to the Rotary Club or the American Legion because they've found something better to do; it's because as the membership grows older, it is not being replaced by younger members. As an older, more social generation moves on, writes Mr. Putnam, "the one replacing it has turned out to be asocial." His culprit? Television. "A major commitment to television viewing, such as most of us have come to have," he says, "is incompatible with a major commitment to community life." While having seen how kids from the age they are old enough to get out of their cribs by themselves are able to go downstairs and turn on the TV so mom and dad can sleep in, I would argue that there are other factors contributing to the malady: the promotion of the belief that every person is more important as an individual than as a member of society; an unprecedented run of economic prosperity and its emphasis on getting while the getting's good, which may sometimes mean cutting in front of everybody else in line; a total abdication by our schools of their role in passing our culture along to the next generation; a politically-correct McCarthyism which harshly punishes anyone who disagrees with the accepted party line, forcing those people into a bitter seclusion; a political opportunism that depends on dividing Americans into voting blocs of victims; the incredible proliferation of mass media to the point where kids can't imagine a day when a city had only three or four TV channels to watch, and there was one universally-agreed-on "popular music" with one "Hit Parade"; the Walkman, which allows people - especially young people - to slap on headsets and turn off the world; hand-held video games, which allow even younger people to tune out everything around them; and lack of a common, homogenizing experience, which for men once meant military service.
 
*********** Judith Sheindlin is better known as Judge Judy, the character she plays on TV. She (the actress, not the judge) is reported to have voiced her opinion of needle exchange programs thusly: "give them dirty needles and hope they die.  
 
*********** This is an important lesson in selling an idea to somebody. Years ago, when I worked for a brewery in Baltimore, it was common policy that all great marketing ideas were supposed to come from our advertising agency, the people who were paid to be brilliant and creative. None of us who worked at the brewery were given credit for having any brains. Anything we came up with at the brewery was discredited, because what did we know? So one time when I came up with what I thought was a great idea, my boss said, "Great idea. See if you can figure out a way for the agency to come up with it." He was smart enough to know the old truism that you can accomplish anything if you don't care who gets the credit.
 
*********** Reassuring, if you're a hiker. Until the1960's, there was a bounty on cougars in Washington. Until the mid-90's, it was legal to hunt them with packs of dogs. Now, the big cats are making quite a comeback. It is estimated that there are at least 4,000 of them in Washington. If you live in Evergreen State, you've probably never seen one, but if you've ever spent any appreciable time in the outdoors, says Rocky Spencer the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife's cougar expert, "You've most likely been seen by a mountain lion. I guarantee it." He has a series of photographs, taken from behind a cougar as it watched a man and a woman walking their dog along a wooded trail east of Seattle. The cat was wearing a radio collar, and Fish and Wildlife biologists had come upon it as it crouched, hidden behind a tree, just a couple of feet off the trail.  
 
*********** NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue said that the league would not be taking any action against Ray Lewis, Baltimore Ravens' linebacker who, at the very least, misled police in the investigation of last year's post-Super Bowl murders. Mr. Lewis, said Commissioner Tagliabue (I am not making this up), has suffered enough.

July 26 - "Wealth, poverty, social standing, race, and religion cut no figure on the football field." Glenn S. "Pop" Warner
 
TRIVIA: (New Clues) Not a military man himself, he played his college football under a famous General (Neyland) at Tennessee and served as an assistant to a famous Colonel (Blaik) at Army. As a head coach, he took his Minnesota team to two straight Rose Bowl appearances, in 1961 and 1962. It hasn't been back there since he left.
 
*********** Another bulletin from Jim Kuhn, at Broncos' camp in Greeley, Colorado: "Here's another one from yesterday - this time some people heard that quote. 'This ain't the World League. You get your ass in there and knock yourself out.' (Unidentified Denver Bronco coach to one of his players.) I probably won't go to another practice because, from my coaching perspective, I am not really learning anything that far from the spectator area where my daughter and I watch." (Tsk, tsk. Such negative comments! Hey Coach Kuhn - How do you think you'd feel if you'd paid $10 to park your car and then another $10 admission, just to "watch" a Redskins practice?)
 
*********** A few weeks ago I used the Edmonton Eskimos' Don Matthews as the answer to my trivia question - what pro coach has won the Big One (four Grey Cups, actually) with three different teams? While in Edmonton recently, I had a chance to watch the Eskimos practice. After the players went through warmups with their various groups, it was time to call them all together as a team to begin formal practice. Everyone - even the spectators - knew it was time, when Coach Matthews hollered, "red rover, red rover - let's get this sh-- over!"
 
*********** Suzanne Heinzel, a Vancouver, Washington elementary school teacher is suing her principal and the Evergreen School District, claiming that the principal limited the subjects to be taught in the school in order to zero in on the statewide Washington Assessment of Student Learning (WASL). As a result, she says, noting that there is no time for art or social studies, "I don't feel we're providing a well-rounded education." She contends in her suit that when she expressed this concern to her principal, she became a target for termination, receiving her first "unacceptable" evaluation in 29 years of teaching.
 
*********** There used to be a sign in Frank's Subs in Ventnor, New Jersey that asked, "If You're So Smart, Why Ain't You Rich?" Where major league baseball owners are concerned, a rearrangement of the words is in order: "If You're so Rich, Why Ain't You Smart?" Major league baseball is in trouble. Only three major league baseball clubs - the Yankees, Indians and Rockies - made a profit last year. Why did the rest of them lose money? Simple - BECAUSE THE OWNERS ARE STUPID! They may be rich - that helps, when it comes time to come up with the money to buy a team - but they sure are stupid, because the whole time they're complaining about losing money, they're shovelling bricks of thousand-dollar bills into the back seats of their players' SUVs. Actually, many of the recipients of their generosity aren't even their own players! For example, Rickey Henderson of the Mariners is "only" being paid $155,000 by the Mariners; but he gets by okay, because the New York Mets, his former club, are still obligated to pay him $2 million. The great Bobby Bonilla of the Braves could scarcely be expected to survive on the lousy $200,000 Atlanta is paying him, but not to worry - the Mets still owe him $30 million, in payments due to begin in 2011. (Ha, Ha, Bobby. Who says there'll even be major league baseball in 2011?)
 

*********** Famous advertising executive Jerry Della Femina, writing in the Wall Street Journal, chimed in with his observations on air travel, which, in case you haven't flown lately, rates several Hoovers (for suction). On checking your bags: "The next question is a doozy. 'Has your luggage been out of your sight since you packed it?' Now what kind of a question is that? Who do you know who'd say no, and miss his plane? Often, I want to say, 'As a matter of fact, I rode here, with my suitcases, in the trunk of a cab.'" On getting through security: "the woman who is supposed to study that X-ray machine pays no attention at all to the screen. Instead, she talks up a storm - in a language you've never heard before - to a colleague 10 feet away. Is that your underwear or an Uzi going through the machine? No one knows. No one cares." He offers the airlines a tongue-in-cheek plan to permit them to squeeze even more of us on board: "I suggest they rip out all the seats from their planes. On a 757, say, which has 188 seats, they can then install about 300 hooks on the ceiling. Instead of 188 seated travelers, they can have 300 harnessed passengers, all suspended from those hooks. Of course, hanging for hours can be a tad uncomfortable. So for an extra $600, a passenger can have a first-class harness, upholstered with imitation bunny fur for the ultimate in armpit comfort."

 
*********** It is convenient for certain national politicians to beat up on "deadbeat dads," because it plays well with the all-too-abundant "single mom" vote, and besides, those men aren't about to come forward and defend themselves. And to listen to the politicians, drawing word pictures of dads playing golf in Palm Springs while their kids are starving, it sounds like a ready source of money for those poor, deprived moms. A certain politician who would like us to think of him as just a down-home country boy from Tennessee but actually grew up in a luxury apartment in Washington, D.C., is calling for tougher child-support enforcement laws, citing the statistic that only 25 per cent of child support is paid. The fact is that more than 70 per cent of fathers pay their child support in full and on time. And in the case of the 30 per cent who are not complying, there is all too often a mother in the picture who is not complying with visitation orders allowing Dad to see his kids regularly; where fathers are given access to their kids as provided for in visitation orders, their child-support compliance rate nears 90 per cent. And before anybody talks about a get-tough policy aimed at "deadbeat dads," there is a double-standard that needs to be dealt with: mothers who choose to defy visitation orders and deny fathers access to their kids - rarely punished now - must be dealt with every bit as harshly as "deadbeat dads." Let's see if a politician has the stones to say that. Kids need fathers.
July 25 - "Gentlemen do not cheat, nor do they deceive themselves about what cheating is.." Walter Camp
 
TRIVIA: (New Clues) Not a military man himself, he played his college football under a famous General (Neyland) and served as an assistant to a famous Colonel (Blaik). As a head coach, he took his Big Ten team to two straight Rose Bowl appearances. It hasn't been back there since he left.
 
*********** Stones Awards to: Tiger Woods, who maintains a standard of excellence seldom seen in sport, while dealing daily with pressures that would chase most other men off the Tour... Lance Armstrong (uh, better make that "Stone" Award) who recovered from testicular cancer to win one of the most arduous events in sports - two years in a row. Powder-Puff Awards to Michael Johnson and Maurice Greene, two poseurs (look it up) who have dodged each other for two years and then in the last two weeks managed to take the unseemly art of bragging and trash talk to new depths; two gifted athletes who make millions in appearance fees and endorsements, with nothing to do to earn their keep but take part in events whose durations are measured in seconds - and then they can't even show up in shape to run when it's all on the line. How'd you like to buy a ticket to a heavyweight championship fight and then watch both fighters stay on their stools after round one and fail to answer the bell for round two because they have shoulder cramps? Bet these palookas are both out on the European circuit collecting appearance fees in another week or two. What a coupla pussies.
 
*********** After years of "new math" and "whole language," of having to deal with the so-called teachers in the so-called "schools of education" (oxymoron) who sneer at the old-fashioned notion that certain basics must be mastered, certain facts memorized, before moving on to more complicated tasks, there have come some startling admissions lately. First comes the National Council of Teachers of Mathematics, telling us to pretty much forget all that theoretical garbage we've been fed over the last few years - that core skills such as addition and multiplication are important after all. Well whaddaya know? And then a government research panel endorses phonics as the best way to teach reading. Says Tom Loveless, of the Brookings Institution, who might as well be talking about coaching football as teaching math and reading, "If you want to get beyond basics and attain more sophisticated levels of knowledge, the basics are non-negotiable."
 
*********** Jim Kuhn writes from Greeley. Colorado : "As you know, I am nearly deaf and have an ability to read lips. This morning, my daughter Alix and I went to the Denver Broncos training camp in Greeley just to watch them practice. Here's what I read their lips.Defensive Coordinator Greg Robinson: 'My grandmother can tackle better than you!!!!' A linebacker, (walking away from Coach Robinson): 'Your grandmother must be one heckuva linebacker.' Coach Robinson is unaware of his linebacker making that comment."
 
*********** You can take the boy out of Boulder, but... Based on an article he sent me about Boulder, Colorado (the Berkeley of the Rockies), Scott Barnes, a youth coach and native Texan who spent the last several years in Colorado before moving back to the Dallas area, just can't seem to get the Boulder culture out of his system. Just kidding. Most red-blooded Coloradans consider Boulder to be an anomaly - a place that happens to be located in Colorado, but is scarcely representative of it. The article Scott sent me illustrates why. Two weeks ago, the city parent-persons of Boulder voted to eliminate any reference in the city's muncipal codes to pet "owner," substituing instead the more politically-correct term "guardian." Jan McHugh, executive director of Boulder's Humane Society, explains, "Instead of saying, 'I am the owner of this animal,' or 'that animal is my piece of property,' when we use the word, 'guardian,' we have a better consideration for the animal's needs and welfare." Cool. (No, officer. I didn't clean up after him. It's not my dog. Well, yes, he does live in my house, and do I feed him and get him his shots. But he's not really mine, see. I'm just his guardian.) Not that the Boulder police, in their relentless search for Jon-Benet Ramsey's killer, are likely to have time to worry about how you refer to your dog.
 
*********** For their harsh treatment of a career criminal, the Philadelphia police are being made the whipping boys by opportunistic "leaders" all over the country. Before going too far down the Rodney King road, consider that the Philadelphia Daily news said of Thomas Jones, Jr., the recipient of a sound whupping by the Philly police, that his targets were "the young, the old, and the weak." In just the last year, wrote John DiIulio, Jr., writing in the Wall Street Journal, Jones "wrestled a bike from a 12-year-old boy and pushed women to the ground for their purses." Just this past July 1, he allegedly carjacked the vehicle of a 68-year-old woman, slamming her arm in the car door in the process. "On July 12," writes Mr. DiIulio, "police spotted him in the stolen car and ordered him to pull over. He sped away, nearly running over a police officer and plowing into a crowd of funeral mourners. He allegedly exchanged gunfire with police. Although police shot him several times, he had strength enough to commandeer a police patrol car and attempt another getaway, He drove the police car about a mile through residential neighborhoods before being cornered by police." From that point, when Jones does not acccept the police invitation to exit the stolen police car, videotape shows that the police are not gentle with him. Several of them punch and kick him. Who should be surprised? What is the deal with so many of these lamebrains nowadays who flee police officers or violently resist? How should they be treated? Trying to appease the sort of people who whine that the police treatment of Jones was brutal, cities have tried everything from sleeper holds to Mace to pepper spray to stun guns; none proved gentle enough to suit those who sympathize with the bad guys. What it comes down to is this: how can we expect to employ people to protect us, while requiring them not to use their police training? How is it that we scream bloody murder at the sight of a dead American soldier being dragged through the streets of Somalia, and demand the withdrawal of our troops, while at the same time expecting our police to offer themselves up daily to physical harm at the hands of society's dregs?
 
*********** It reminded me of some of the old Colt 45 ads we used to run when I worked for the National Brewing Company in Baltimore years ago. SCENE 1: The athlete is training hard, appearing to be running through water as he drags a parachute behind him. From the look on his face, it is clear he is paying the price. SCENE 3 (No need for Scene 2, where he wins the track meet. A look at Scene 3 tells us all we need to know about how he did.) This is his payoff for winning. This is why he worked so hard. Now, there is a different look on his face, a smile of ecastasy as he reclines, gold-chain-bedecked in a lighted swimming pool, his head stroked by an adoring young woman who is so busty she is, well bouyant. In the background, more adoring women and a buddy look on. All that's missing is the Colt 45. Except that this is not, despite its appearances, just another run-of-the-mill pander-to-the-ethnic-market malt liquor commercial. Instead, it is a two-page Reebok ad that's run the last couple of weeks in Sport Illustrated. In fact, turn the page and there's a continuation of the ad - a picture of the shoe that I guess we're supposed to believe made the orgy possible. What a wonderful inspiration for young people everywhere!  
July 24 - "Turnovers are the most important statistical category in any football game." Tom Osborne
 
Happy Anniversary to my wife. We spent part of our honeymoon in Hershey, Pennsylvania, watching the Philadelphia Eagles (Norm Van Brocklin, Tommy McDonald, Chuck Bednarik) train.
 
TRIVIA: Not a military man himself, he played his college football under a famous General and served as an assistant to a famous colonel. As a head coach, he took his team to two straight Rose Bowl appearances.
 
*********** "I was too late for the trivia question. I was vacationing in Williamsburg, VA and happened by a used book store and added two books to my library. One by Otto Graham and The FLY T by Hamp Pool.. Moral of the lesson TIMING IS EVERYTHING." Greg LaBoissonniere, Coventry, Rhode Island
 
*********** (Responding to my less-than-complimentary review of "Varsity Blues, " Steve Arnold, of Greensboro, North Carolina wrote, "While personally I enjoyed the movie, I have another interesting little inaccuracy that may add another 1/2 hoover on to your rating. You pointed out the scene were the quarterback changes the play so that the black running back who is cheated out of scoring every time can get in the endzone. I always thought it was funny that after 5 games he finally gets this kid a TD for a grand total of 4 on the season while all the while he has scored 40 or so TDs himself after scrambling on pass plays."
 
*********** "Coach, I got back from the National Single Wing Symposium held last week and I must say you should have been there. I was able to speak with Ken Kueffel on a dilemma my coaches and I were having, had lunch with John Aldrich and looked at old playbooks with Ed Racely!! I also talked a little short punt with Lou Hoffman. There were many outstanding speakers and very sharp coaches. The SW is very much alive, if not well known. I have seen few subjects which inspire so much passion. It was a great experience and a coaches paradise. The sessions went from 8:30 a.m. to 10 p.m. or whenever the last light went out" Jim Chambers, Nipomo, California (My reply to Coach Chambers: I'd have loved to be there, if only to see Ken Keuffel and Ed Racely, two great gentlemen. Everything else would have been a bonus. You know, the web is what has kept the single wing from extinction. Without it, lone-wolf single wing guys all over the country would have been like the last two whales on earth, swimming the oceans on the odd chance they'll find each other before they both perish.) Coach Chambers wrote back: "That's an interesting point you make about the web and the SW. The last bit of business we discussed was SW plays on the web. Richard McClesky was there taping (he has a web site with a huge SW playbook on it) and he was visibly upset by the accusation that somehow putting the plays on the web compromised those teams running the SW to their competitors. Since any offense can be understood by anyone who wants the information whether it be by the web or books or observation, I think maybe the SW guys are a little behind in the info area. Of course one of the advantages to the SW is opponents don't understand it and have difficulty preparing for it. Nevertheless your point is really the most important one, without the web and this flow of information, the SW truly would be dead."(Mr reply: The single-wing guys face essentially the same problem I found myself facing. Several of the coaches I have dealt with have expressed their concern that the more info we put out out, the less exotic we become, and therefore, being more familiar to defenses, the easier we are to stop. Theirs is a valid concern. But after a few years, I have come to realize that we will never see my Double-Wing universally run. It takes "A Set of Stones" to try something so radically different from establishment thinking. Remember, back when everybody ran the single wing, most people were running it because it was the thing to do. And as a result, when everybody was running it, there were a lot of bad single wing teams. This time around, though, I doudt that people will ever be found running the single wing for the reason they once did - that it was the establishment offense and that was what everybody ran. Those people who need the reassurance and security of running a commonly-seen offense will stick with the I formation or some sort of spread. Only guys with stones will commit to running the single wing or Double-Wing, and since they have the essential stones, a larger than normal percentage of them will be successful. (Remember, too - a playbook just tells people what you run. It doesn't show how you teach it, how you run it, why you run it or when you run it. Except in the hands of a guy who has the guts and the know-how to use it, it is no more useful than those plans in Sunday's Real Estate section are to somebody who doesn't know construction.)
 
*********** "I wonder what your relationship would be with any employee you might have if he doesn't choose to come to work on time, doesn't choose to come to work at all, doesn;t choose to do the things everybody else in the organization does, and then says he's upset with the way he's treated." The Sixers' Larry Brown, noting that Allen ("The Organization Disrespects Me") Iverson was late or AWOL for some 70 games or practices last season. I wonder if Coach Brown is having second thoughts about that Carolina job now?
 
*********** The Red Sox' Carl Everett says that the media made a mountain out of a molehill. (Okay. So I head-butted an umpire. So what's the big deal?) "The whole thing is," he said, reacting to a 10-day fine finally imposed on him, "that the majority of the media tried to make a monster out of a guy. Everyone is quick to judge. (There's that "judgmental" thing again.) I fault the media." If this guy smokes, he is sure to sue the tobacco companies someday.
 
*********** Throckmorton, Texas is in a bit of a spot. At the rate things are going, Lake Throckmorton, its only source of water, will be dry some time in early September, about 60 days from now. And then, without water, Throckmorton could be finished. But the folks of Throckmorton, a West Texas town of a little more than 1,000 people about midway between Abilene and Wichita Falls, are not resigned to their fate. Instead, they have begun a mad rush to build a 21-mile pipeline to connect with the nearest supply of available water. The problem they face is that money granted from the state for the project will only pay for the pieline supplies, and they are depending on donated trenching machinery and volunteer labor. Last week, in a great display of American "can-do", an average of 30 to 40 volunteers a day, many of them from distant parts the country, responded to the call to help save Throckmorton. "We're very happy with the turnout," Throckmorton mayor John Kunkel told the Abilene Reporter-News. "Sure, we're going to get there in less than 60 days." If by some chance you have a little time on your hands and you can help (what a chance for a high school team or two to do a little good!) call city hall: 940-849-4411. My son-in-law, a Houstonian, alerted me to this story. A little later, as we were sitting around talking, the subject of Texas football came up, and, jabbing him with a little needle, I told him that one of the greatest football players in Texas' long, storied football history played his high school football in Oregon! No lie. Naturally, this led to a few exclamations of shocked disbelief, which chased me to an old copy of a Sporting News Football Register tp prove it. And, yep - there it was. Bob Lilly. TCU and Dallas Cowboys. NFL Hall of Fame. Played his high school football in Pendleton, Oregon. And, before that - Throckmorton, Texas!
July 21 - "Be very careful when you get into a "victory" defense. Never get into it too soon." Charley McClendon
 
*********** TRIVIA ANSWER - The 1950 Los Angeles Rams scored 466 points in 12 games. Subsequent teams have scored more points, but they needed more games to do it. The 1950 Rams' average of 38.8 points per game is still an NFL record. The Rams finished 9-3 and were certainly good enough to win the NFL title, but this was the first year of the merger between the NFL and the AAFC, and the Cleveland Browns, in their first year in the NFL, defeated the Rams in the championship game. The following year, the Rams turned the tables and won what was - until this past season - their only NFL title by defeating the Browns. The head coach of those Rams teams was Joe ("Jumbo Joe") Stydahar, but the brains behind the offense belonged to the backfield coach, Hampton (Hamp) Pool, and the offense was what he called his Fly T, a radical departure from the game everyone else played in that he normally employed two running backs and three wide receivers, rarely using a tight end.
 
Pool had an interesting background as a player. In his eight-year career, four years as a collegian and four as a pro, he played every position except center. After his freshman year at Cal, he played two years at West Point before returning to the coast and finishing up at Stanford (!) where he earned All-Pacific Coast honors. (There can't be too many guys who have played on both sides of the bitter Stanford-Cal rivalry.) He played four years with the Chicago Bears - he was one of nine Bears to score a touchdown in the historic 73-0 championship game win over the Redskins in 1940 - but left to serve in World War II as a "frogman" in the Navy's Underwater Demotion Team (now the Seals). While in the Navy, he also coached the 1944 Fort Pierce team to a perfect 10-0 season.
 
Following his discharge, he coached with the Miami Seahawks and Chicago Rockets or the AAFC and at San Jose State before joining the Rams in 1950 as Joe Stydahar's offensive guy. But when the 1952 Rams lost their three exhibition games and their regular-season opener 37-7 to the Browns, Stydahar was let go, and replaced with Pool. Pool rallied the troops, and in his rookie season as a coach, the Rams won their last eight games to finish 9-3, losing to Detroit in the conference playoffs. (Those Detroit teams of Buddy Parker in the early-to-mid 50's are a whole 'nother story; Detroit, which also finished 9-3, defeated Cleveland to win the NFL title.) Pool's '53 Rams were 8-3-1, but he committed the then-unpardonable sin in Los Angeles of losing twice to the San Francisco 49ers, who finished 9-3. The Rams' only other loss was to champion Detroit. The 1954 Rams fell to 6-5-1, and in 1955, Hamp Pool was gone and Sid Gillman was their new coach. During the five years that Hamp Pool coached the Rams' offense, it averaged nearly 31.5 points and 416 yards per game, but he never became a head coach again. He worked as an assistant in the NFL and the CFL, and headed up the NFL's first scouting combine, made up of the Rams, 49ers and Cowboys.
 
What teams the Rams had back then! What players! What excitement! What glamour! Stars? How about the original Number 7, Bob Waterfield, a local UCLA boy, at quarterback? He could run and pass and he was the Rams' place kicker. Oh, yeah - and he was married to actress Jane Russell, a sultry brunette who at the time was considered Hollywood's Number One sex goddess (not that the term was used then). Or maybe you were one of the many L.A. fans who preferred Waterfield's alternate, Norm Van Brocklin, two years out of Oregon and strong of mind, arm and mouth? It is possible that no NFL team has ever had a more talented pair of quarterbacks. And, of course, with a pair of talented quarterbacks went a quarterback controversy. It may have been invented right there in Los Angeles. It may have been a problem in th minds of the fans and the news media, but Pool never let it interfere.
 
It is also possible that no team has had a more talented group of receivers and runners than those Rams of the early 50's. The receivers included Bob Boyd, NCAA 100-yard dash champion; Glenn Davis, Army's "Mr. Outside," who caught 42 passes in 1950; Elroy "Crazylegs" Hirsch, converted from running back to a Hall-of-Fame wide receiver in Pool's system; another Hall-of-Famer, Tom Fears, who once caught 18 passes in a single game. Not that Pool's offense neglected the running game. Runners? There was fleet Skeets Quinlan to go with the big men, bruising runners and blockers dubbed the "Bull Elephant" backfield. They were Dick Hoerner, Paul "Tank" Younger, first in a long line of NFL stars from Grambling, and a hard runner from little Washington and Jefferson, Dan Towler, nicknamed "Deacon Dan" because he was also a Baptist preacher.
 
Hampton Pool left a permament stamp on the NFL with his brand of football and the way it set the pro game apart from the colleges of that time. It was entertaining football and the fans loved it. As is so often the case in American entertainment, Southern California was way ahead of the rest of the nation: in the 1950's, while NFL teams struggled in some places, the Rams and Pool's exciting offense drew several crowds in excess of 80,000 to Memorial Coliseum.
 
(Coach Pool also wrote "Fly T Football," - Prentice-Hall, 1957 - which in some ways inspired me to become a coach. I was injured most of my senior year in college, and when I was asked to help coach our house's intramural team - believe it or not, we had intramural tackle football at Yale - I realized how little three-plus years of playing running back and defensive back had taught me about the rest of the game. I went to the library and grabbed everything I could on the topic of football, and Hamp Pool's book grabbed me right away. This was great stuff! It was wide-open, and it was exactly what the pros were running - so unlike the full-house-T stuff I'd been playing. So I absorbed the book, and installed a few of Hamp Pool's plays - and they worked! Only another football coach can understand the excitement of that first time you give a bunch of guys a play and then watch them run it.)
 
One final note: When opposing offenses began copying the Rams, Coach Pool applied his thinking to the defensive side, and came up with a solution: zone coverage!
 
One really final note: Coach Pool had to get a great deal of satisfaction from the 1955 College All-Star Game. In those days, the defending NFL champion met a team of college all-stars (in effect, the top incoming rookies) in a charity game in Soldier Field. Traditionally, the more experienced, more cohesive pro champions handled the rookies. But in 1955, all-star coach Curly Lambeau (the Lambeau in Lambeau Field), assisted by Steve Owen, Hunk Anderson and - yes - Hamp Pool, defeated the Cleveland Browns, 31-28. They did it running Hamp Pool's Fly T - with two weeks' preparation.
 
CORRECTLY IDENTIFYING HAMPTON POOL: Joseph Daniels- North Highlands, California... Kevin McCullough, Lakeville, Indiana... WHAT A SHAME A GUY WHO MADE SUCH GREAT CONTRIBUTIONS TO OUR GAME IS SO LITTLE-KNOWN!
 
*********** Some guy named Hal Weddington, in a letter to the editor of the Portland Oregonian, wrote about the self-important Masters of the Universe who can't go anywhere without talking on their cell phones: "One has to wonder how people such as Thomas Edison, Henry Ford and Alexander Graham Bell got through a meal without a telephone in their hands." (Anybody else see the contradiction in people wailing about the loss of their privacy while they sit next to us in the airport making a cell call and loudly tell us a lot more about themselves and their business than we care to know? Maybe just like those "My Child is an Honored Student at..." we could walk up to those jerks and hand them bumper stickers that read, "I TALK LOUDLY ON MY CELL PHONE BECAUSE I AM VERY IMPORTANT ")
 
*********** Is Heinz really coming out with green Ketchup, as it suggests, or is the whole thing just a ploy to promote their familiar red ketchup? To generate some sort of uprising, similar to the hue and cry over Coke's changing its familiar several years ago? Why not try blue ketchup? Put the lie to George Carlin, who once made the keen observation that "there is no blue food."
 
*********** I've read some expert analysis of all the crap that's going on - road rage, attacks on umpires, etc. - and one of the major things that keep coming up is that people are just so doggone competitive. They just have to win. They have to be first in line at the supermarket. They have to get past you - that's why they're right on your ass at 70 miles an hour. Their kid has to get into the best day care, has to be the quarterback, has to start, has to be all-league, has to get a scholarship to a Division I-A school etc., etc. But competitive? I say B-S. Sure, they want to win. What's strange about that? Everbody wants to win, and these are people with a lot of "wants." But they are not competitive. These turkeys expect to win. To be allowed to win, that is. Don't you see? They are entitled, to win, because they are special. So's their kid. They want to be allowed to win without having to compete! Without having to put it on the line. Just as in other aspects of their lives, they aren't willing to accept the consequences - in this case, the consequences of strapping it on and finding out who's best. Which could include losing. They aren't willing to accept that competing means they might lose. That their kid might not even be a starter, let alone the starting quarterback. Remember, these people are special. Everybody is. They've been told that from the time they could first understand words. They are entitled to win. In their schooling, they've been shielded from losing by the elimination of competition in their activities (remember, when you have winners - so the edubabble goes - you have losers, and we can't have that. We don't want kids scarred for life because they lost a game of dodgeball. We want everybody to be a winner. The ultimate triumph for the modern education establishment, whether it be a kids' game or negotiations, is "win-win."). So everybody plays. Everybody gets equal time. Everybody gets a trophy. Every answer is correct. Every drawing is great art. I don't recognize what it is that you drew, but it's really good. I haven't the faintest idea what you just read to me, but if you say it's a poem, it's really a good one. When we begin to judge kids, we could hurt their self-esteem. And besides, who are we to judge, anyhow? So now, when the inevitable happens and reality sets in - and they lose, or their kid doesn't start, or doesn't play quarterback, people brought up without learning how to deal with losing don't know how to handle it when it finally, inevitably, hits them.
 
Watch their kids supposedly "competing." What a lot of them are doing could more appropriately be called "win or bail out." When you win, of course, you gloat and taunt. That "validates" (more edubabble) your win. But if losing is inevitable, make sure you don't lose face. Face is everything. Quit before it's over, or maybe screw around and make a joke of everything and diminish the meaning of the winner's acomplishment. Or fake an injury. (Remember Michael Johnson's famous match race? Toronto, I think it was, when he came up with a pulled hamstring, rather than lose? And when exactly was the last time he and Maurice Greene, these great "competitors," met, face to face?) Turn the contest into a game-ending brawl. (If you can't win the game, etc.) Afterward, make excuses or throw a tantrum. Attack the winners. Or the officials. Or the coaches. Thank God it hasn't yet occured to too many of them to go home and get a gun (those who aren't already packing).
 
Now, Coach, be honest - how many times have you fostered this false sense of entitlement? How many times have you used the expression "we deserve to win," without thinking about what that really means? Why are we, after all, any more deserving than the people we're competing with?
 
*********** Jim Kuhn, of Greeley, Colorado, put me on to the following web site - www.womensprofootball.com - and asked me what my reaction was. It is, I gather, about a women's pro football league. (Yeah, right. Pro. They'll make a lot of money. I found myself out of work twice in my lifetime because not enough people would pay enough money to watch good football players - men - playing good football.) After I stopped laughing, I cranked the old sexism meter up a couple of notches and reckoned that they have a chance of selling a few tickets if they can find enough taverns with floors large enough for a football game, and if kickoff is about 11:30 PM following about a three-hour Happy Hour, and the tavern owners are willing to spread 3 to 4 inches of mud all over the floor. 
July 20 - "One thing that I have found out in coaching is that I hate staff meetings." Daryl Rogers
 
*********** TRIVIA QUESTION - In his first year as the "backfield coach" (the term offensive coordinator hadn't been coined yet) of an NFL team he brought new excitement to the game, putting together one of the most explosive offenses the league has ever seen - one that averaged over 38 points a game. He was in many ways the forerunner of today's offensive coordinators, with the head coach, also in his first year, giving him a relatively free hand to run his own offense. He also could be said to have pioneered what came to be known as the Pro Set, with its multiple wideouts and only two running backs. He succeeded his boss as head coach, and was successful in putting points on the board, but not successful enough to keep from getting fired after three years, mainly because he never won an NFL title. Among his players a very good running back named Vitamin T. Smith, and the first of a long line of NFL greats to come out of Grambling. (NEW CLUE) Switching back and forth between a pair of all-pro quarterbacks in Bob Waterfield and Norm Van Brocklin, he may also be the inventor of the Quarterback Controversy. He died recently in California.
 
*********** As someone who smoked, off and on, for the better part of 17 years and knew damn well that it wasn't good for me - people did call them "cancer sticks" - I would just like to offer a reward to anyone who can find just one smoker in the United States who will take personal responsibility for his own illness.
 
*********** Two of Tokyo's symphony orchestras just merged. In Japan, they don't like to lay people off, so they have approximately as many musicians as they need, and their solution to the excess of musicians is to assign the less talented ones to the least desirable jobs - such as playing in the pit for operas and musicals, in the hope that they'll quit. Sounds like the sort of things that school administrators sometimes resort to when they want to get rid of a teacher who can't be fired. Back in the 1920's, when two New York orchestras merged, the first thing they did was fire every musician, and then hire back the ones they wanted. Consider doing that, if they will let you, the next time you go into a head job and there are holdovers on the staff. (If they won't let you, consider another job.)
 
*********** For various reasons, I don't go to a lot of movies, and when I do wind up seeing one later on TV, I invariably find myself asking my wife, "can you believe people really paid money to watch that?" That pretty much sums up my review of "Varsity Blues," which I happened to catch last weekend because it came on after something else I was watching. By the time I realized what I was watching, I figured I'd have to watch the whole thing if I wanted to review it for my readers. It is, after all, about football. Sort of. If you don't care to read any further, I gave it four Hoovers (out of a possible 5) on the suck-meter. The only thing that saved it was that, unlike most "football" movies, there was actually some authentic-looking game action. Otherwise, let's see... where do I start? It's set somewhere in small-town Texas, so naturally they cover all the Texas stereotypes, but especially the coach-as-God-if-He-had-a-big-ego, played by John Voigt. This character, ranting and raving in the locker room after a loss, calls one kid a "f---in' baby," and tells the team, "you cost me my perfect season." As my friend John Naylor in Fort Worth said when I told him that one, "Yeah, right." Want realism? He points to another kid and in front of the whole team tells him, "Your daddy was a pussy." Now, I figure Texas daddies ain't all that different from Washington daddies, and if I ever said that to a kid, guess who'd be knockin' on my door later that night? In another game, the coach gives his quarterback a play to call, and shoves him back toward the huddle as he tells him, "Now go fetch me a championship." (You know any coach who'd say that to a kid?) Ole Coach has already told the quarterback, who's been accepted to Brown, that if he keeps changing the plays that the coach sends in, he'll "f--- with" his transcript, pretty much assuring that our boy'll be going to Cisco Junior College instead of the Ivy League. (Oh, and the quarterback announces to one and all that he's been offered an "all-expenses" scholarship to Brown; except that under the Ivy Code, Brown is limited to giving awards based on need, and our boy's family didn't look all that needy.) Considering the opportunity a small-town Texas setting provides the Hollywood types, it is to the producer's credit that race played no significant part. There is one tiny hint of racism (on the part of that devil coach - who else?) when the star tailback (who is black) works his butt off getting the ball down into scoring territory, only to have the coach send in a play so another (white) back can score. This, apparently, has been going on all season. Well, our quarterback fixes that right quick with a little checkoff in the huddle, and the black tailback scores. We cut to the coach on the sidelines, and he clearly ain't happy. Later, it is the black player who lies, knee seriously injured, on the training table at halftime, as the trainer informs the coach that he "tore somethin'". The coach asks the trainer, "can you fix it?" and we understand exactly what "fix" means, as we cut immediately to the trainer preparing to shoot up the kid with a painkiller - just as our quarterback opens the door to talk to the coach and sees, to his shock, what is going on. Shock? How could anything shock anybody in this town, which I think might have been called Gomorrah, Texas? There is heavy drinking, use of uppers before games, high school girls whose sole aim in life appears to be to catch and spread venereal disease, and a sex-ed teacher (sex-ed is pretty much the only class we see) who moonlights as a stripper. And theft of a police car. (As dumb as Hollywood portrays small-town cops to be, you have to wonder about all Dad's stories about being able to leave the keys in his ignition back when he was growing up.) Oh, yes, and an all-night team drunk at a strip club the night before their biggest game. Frankly, I didn't find a whole lot to like about those kids. But somehow, we're supposed to rally behind them when they mutiny at hafltime of their final game, spurred on by hatred of the coach and, probably, the pain of their hangovers. So, with the plays being called by an injured former quarterback (who wants to be a coach someday), they win the game and, we are told, the district championship. We are also told that it is their last game. So we know it ain't Texas, because if it were, there'd be playoffs comin' up next week.
 
*********** Coach Emory Latta, of Northview High in Dothan, Alabama, writes, "I went to the D-Day Museum in New Orleans on Saturday. It is awesome! Came home and rented the movie 'Saving Private Ryan' to see agin the realistic depiction of that battle. I thought of you and your occasional articles on your website concerning our patriotism of the lack thereof."
 
*********** Coach, A quick note to let you know one of your disciples is doing a great job spreading the word. Coach Jon McLaughlin from Rich Central in Illinois has been coaching at our summer camp for the last several days. He has been a tremendous help with the "details". The players have responded well, and are benefiting from his efforts. Thanks for creating the fraternity. All the Best , Fred Barnes, Menlo School, Atherton, California - PS Introducing your numbering system is going well, no problems."
 
*********** (Michael Peirce, dealing with what he perceives as the liberal northern media - redundancy! - and its non-stop campaign against white southern males, who seem unfazed by their attacks) : "So live with it, sissies, and when Rocker strikes out your best hitters, you can throw batteries at him and pour beer on his wife, and comfort yourselves with the knowledge that you are morally superior. But you better be polite when you are in reaching distance of him, and of me. You see, this politeness we practice in the South, which is so confusing to so many of you, is based on two things: good manners and good sense. We are polite to all but we don't tolerate insults. We are your worst nightmare. You can run your mouth down here but you talk about my momma and I'll drop kick you. This really upsets you folks I know, because you think that your blatherings are sacred, and constantly invoke that meaningless first amendment to support your supposed 'right' to get in my face. Does it shock you that I mock the first amendment? How do you think it feels to patriotic Americans when you mock the second? Want to compromise? How about if I keep my guns and you keep your freedom of speech? Frankly, without me and my shooting irons, you and your jawbone are finished anyway. So here is a suggestion &endash; stick to soccer."

July 19 - "We should never lose our ability to be outraged." Father Theodore Hesburgh
 
*********** TRIVIA QUESTION - In his first year as the "backfield coach" (the term offensive coordinator hadn't been coined yet) of an NFL team he brought new excitement to the game, putting together one of the most explosive offenses the league has ever seen - one that averaged over 38 points a game. He was in many ways the forerunner of today's offensive coordinators, with the head coach, also in his first year, giving him a relatively free hand to run his own offense. He also could be said to have pioneered what came to be known as the Pro Set, with its multiple wideouts and only two running backs. He succeeded his boss as head coach, and was successful in putting points on the board, but not successful enough to keep from getting fired after three years, mainly because he never won an NFL title. Among his players a very good running back named Vitamin T. Smith, and the first of a long line of NFL greats to come out of Grambling. He died recently in California.
 
*********** And just in case you wonder why we put up with those rainy Northwest winters... we have now gone nearly three weeks with only a trace of rain... we have had at most four days in which the temperature has been over 90 degrees... today it may have been as high as 80, with the usual low humidity. Heaven's weather will be like the Pacific Northwest in the summer.
 
*********** Nothing is more embarrassing than watching someone else do what you've been saying couldn't be done. Being something of a contrarian myself, I often think of how this adage applies to football. I was reminded of it a while back when I was landing in Memphis and, it being a Sunday, a lot of the FedEx Air Force was on the ground. Memphis is the home of FedEx, a great business story and a great example of something that conventional thinkers said couldn't be done. The story goes that the kernel of the idea that grew into FedEx was a paper a student at Yale wrote for an Economics course. He received only a "C" for his efforts, supposedely because the idea he proposed - flying shipments from all over the country to one central point, sorting them quickly and then shipping them out a few hours later for next-day delivery - was preposterous. Nevertheless, he persisted with the idea, and that's why I can ship you a videotape today and it'll arrive at your place tomorrow. I'm sure, if you run the Double-Wing, you'll understand what made that person successful. If you had listened to all those good football men - the conventional thinkers - who told you that "you can't run with those tight splits," you'd still be lining up in the I.
 
*********** "Hugh, I watched the tapes you sent me and I just wanted to comment on what I saw. First I viewed the tackling tape, and needless to say I was impressed with it because I was one of those who always believed tackling needed to be taught in full gear. Not only did it quickly squash those thoughts but I also used it last Friday during our summer camp. Not all of it- just the few begining segments with no pads. The players enjoyed it and I will slowly incorporate the rest into my regimen in the coming weeks. This will obviously improve our d-line play." Coach Mike Foristiere, Borah HS, Boise, Idaho

*********** In Garrison Keilor's fictional town of Lake Woebegon, "all the children are above average." That seems to be true of America's colleges, too. According to an article by Ben Wildavsky in US News and World Report, America's students are working less - but earning better grades. And feeling a lot better about themselves! Researchers at UCLA asked 261,217 college freshmen at 462 colleges and junior colleges to answer questions about their political views, study habits, extracurricular activities, and so forth, and found that as high school students they earned record numbers of A's.

This year, more than 34 percent of them reported having earned an A average in high school, compared with just 12.5 percent in 1969. Meantime, the C has become as scarce as the A once was: just 12 percent of the freshmen surveyed had earned C averages in high school, down from 32.5 percent in 1969.

Students smarter than they used to be? Hardly, says Linda Sax, director of the UCLA Higher Education Research Institute's annual freshman survey. Instead, what we are witnessing is something commonly called grade inflation: higher grades for the same - or even lesser - quality work. "We don't think this grade inflation is happening because these students are getting any smarter," Sax says. "There are no other indicators that would suggest that students' level of achievement has gone up over the past 30 years."

In fact, the College Board, which administers the SAT (Scholastic Aptitude Test) reported last year that those rising grades were accompanied by a drop in SAT scores.

The higher grades reported certainly didn't come from harder work. Just 31.5 percent of the students surveyed said that they spent six or more hours weekly doing homework or studying in their senior year of high school, down from 33 percent last year and 44 percent when the question was first asked in 1987.

Over 36 percent of the freshmen said they overslept and missed a class or an appointment in the past year &endash; nearly double the figure of 1968, and evidence that the phenomenon of "senioritis" seems on its way to being established as an American institution. "Among a large group of students," says Cynthia Rudrud, principal of Cactus High School in Glendale, Arizona, "there's this perception that senior year should be the easy year: 'You've earned it,' " seems to be the attitude of students - and their parents - she says.

One result of grade inflation is that the much-maligned SAT is not likely to go away any time soon, because grade inflation in the high schools means that the high school GPA means less and less in evaluating college applicants. As College Board research director Wayne Camara points out, "If you've got 100 openings . . . and you've got 300 applicants with a 4.0 average, it's very difficult to use grades as the sole criterion."

UCLA's Sax speculates, "It seems that teachers are feeling some pressure not to give students esteem-damaging low grades." The eseteem-protection seems to be working - students may know less, but they don't know that they don't know: nearly 59 percent of the freshmen rated their scholastic abilities as "above average" or in the top 10 percent.

Not that the colleges, which do so much comlaining about grade inflation in the high schools, are themselves blameless: Arthur Levine, president of Columbia University's Teachers College, says his surveys show that enormous grade inflation has hit the nation's colleges, as well.

*********** Father Theodore Hesburgh was interviewed on Public TV last week. He was in Washington, D.C. to receive a great award, and although at first I was suspicious of another Clinton stunt to buff his own tarnished image, this award came from Congress. It's called the Congressional Gold Medal. Father Hesburgh, President of Notre Dame from 1952 to 1987, is a great American and highly-deserving of such recognition. In his lifetime he has been involved in first-hand in trying to resolve the conflict in a major college between its high academic aspirations and the big-time sports programs that "represent" it; he has worked at the highest levels on behalf of civil rights; he has served our nation as a diplomat. He is a brilliant, highly articulate man who reflects the strong religious and academic training he advocates, and when Father Hesburgh speaks, I stop whatever I am doing and listen. Now 83 years old, he said in the interview that he had delivered perhaps 140 commencement addresses in his lifetime, and that more and more, he focuses his talk on the "Three C's" : Compassion, Competence and Commitment. Compassion, he said, is wonderful - no one questions that - but too many people are content to stop there. It is enough for them that they feel your pain. And that's as far as it goes. But not for Father Hesburgh. "Compassion of itself, " he said, "doesn't get you anywhere." What the world needs, he said, is not compassionate people - which our touchy-feely educators seem to be doing a fine job of turning out - but rather, compassionate people who are also competent and committed. "The world is full of people who are compassionate," he said, "but they don't do anything about it." To do something about it, he said, one must be competent. Which often requires hard work and an education. And then, one has to be committed to doing something about it. The interesting thing about comitment is that what we often view as apathy is really a lack of commitment. It is apathy, Father Hesburgh suggests, that causes us to stand by and allow all manner of unmentionable things to occur. We may pause and observe, and even feel someone's pain - we are, of course, compassionate - but then we get back to our own lives. Above all, he said, "we should never lose our ability to be outraged." (Even, I might add, if that means being less "accepting" and more "judgmental.") 

July 18 - "Children are not adults." Dr. Laura Schlesinger
 
*********** TRIVIA QUESTION - In his first year as the "backfield coach" (the term offensive coordinator hadn't been coined yet) of an NFL team he brought new excitement to the game, putting together one of the most explosive offenses the league has ever seen - one that averaged over 38 points a game. He was in many ways the forerunner of today's offensive coordinators, with the head coach, also in his first year, giving him a relatively free hand to run his own offense. He also could be said to have pioneered what came to be known as the Pro Set, with its multiple wideouts and only two running backs. He succeeded his boss as head coach, and was successful in winning and putting a lot of points on the board, but not successful enough to keep from getting fired after three years, mainly because he never won an NFL title.
 
*********** Coach Glade Hall, a Seattle-area youth coach, wrote of a camp he worked at recently:  "I suggested we run a tackling station as part of the circuit during defensive days. The coaches wondered how in the heck you can practicetackling without pads on? Well, the drills and techniques I got from your video made me look very smart! The kids loved it as well as the coaching staff. It was the only time the kids could have any type of hitting since it was a no-pads clinic. I then turned around and did the same thing for offensive blocking. Impressive!"
 
*********** From the other coast, Coach Frank Simonsen, in Cape May, New Jersey, has made a tradition of pre-season "Beach Practices," for the purposes of conditioning mixed with a little fun, too. Not everybody likes them, according to Frank: "I had the freshman basketball coach complain to me about us having our beach practices on Monday night. It seems he has an open gym! That night. I told him I would stop having them if he could arrange for me to have open field football practices in Dec. As you know me, it's needless to say how the conversation went after that. We are still practicing on Monday nights."
 
*********** The Boston Red Sox' Carl Everett head-butted an umpire Saturday. But IT WASN'T HIS FAULT. More about that later. This stupid umpire said he was enforcing some stupid rule about a batter's having to have both feet inside the batter's box, and Mr. Everett DIDN'T LIKE IT! So he threw down his batting helmet, bumped into the umpire, and then head-butted him. Red Sox Manager Jimy ("One M") Williams. knowing full well that a baseball manager's job is only as secure as his ability to get along with the millionaire brats he's paid to babysit, naturally supported Everett. In fact, he even went so far as to - get this - accuse the Mets of SETTING EVERETT UP! And he's got a point. Do you know what he heard the Mets did? He heard they asked the umpires before the game to CHECK EVERETT'S STANCE! Imagine! Asking the umpires to enforce the rules! HEY, METS! COME ON! PLAY FAIR! Major League Baseball obviously didn't consider this latest attack on officials to be particularly outrageous. They've got bigger problems right now than maintaining any standards of civilized behavior. So Everett was in Sunday's lineup. He went 2-for-2 and hit a home run. Isn't that all that really matters? The players' union, I'm sure, has an appeal all whipped up and ready to go no matter what action baseball takes.
 
*********** The University of Hawaii could become the Notre Dame of the Pacific. Hawaii is said to be entering into a deal with Fox Sports West 2 in which Fox will carry Honolulu station KFVE's live telecasts of all Rainbow football games live this fall. Fox Sports West claims to be able to reach 2.7 million viewers in Los Angeles, Bakersfield, Santa Barbara and Palm Springs. KFVE's sister stations in Paducah, Kentucky and Cape Giradeau, Missouri have also agreed to show Rainbow games and KFVE claims that there is considerable interest among several Midwest stations in televising Wisconsin's visit to Aloha Stadium on November 25. Southern California is a major recruiting area for Hawaii coach June Jones, and this agreement, which would allow kids' parents and friends to see them play, helps him overcome a major recruiting obstacle.
 
*********** Studies by the University of Pennsylvania's Annenberg Public Policy Center show that more families with kids between the ages of 2 and 17 have Internet access than subscribe to a daily newspaper... Nearly half of them have a computer, a VCR and a video game player... most kids 8 to 16 have a TV in their bedroom... 75 per cent of them have a stereo or CD player in their bedroom... 29 per cent can play video games in their bedroom... 32 per cent have their own phone in their bedroom... and 20 per cent have a computer in their bedroom. Here's the real kicker, though, for those parents who feel compelled to provide their kids with every known electronic device ever invented: there is an inverse relationship between family income and media use by their kids. If you're not sure what an inverse relationship means, it's this: children from higher-income families spend less time with various media that children from low-income families. You don't suppose those higher-income families on onto something, do you? Could it be that instead of feeding cotton candy to their brains, their kids are - dare I say the word? - reading?
 
*********** "Tre Arrow" is down. After 10 days perched on a ledge of an office building 30 feet above a Portland, Oregon sidewalk and vowing not to come down until the government agrees not to allow logging in an area of a national forest that had already been set aside specifically for logging, he rappelled from his perch down to the street. One of the problems with Mr. "Arrow" is that certain law-abiding people called "taxpayers" - a real endangered species who, I suspect, are supporting Mr. Arrow while he pursues his "activism" - simply have to be able to cut down trees now and then. Some of them actually earn a living cutting tress, while others support their families driving logs to sawmills, where still other productive, taxpaying citizens cut them into boards. "Tre," though, doesn't seem to need to work. With no visible means of support, he's either being supported by Mommy and Daddy or, more likely, by you and me and those guys cutting down the trees and driving the log trucks. A judge had ordered him to come down, with little effect, because the Portland Police, gunshy after catching flak for chasing protestors out of the streets on May Day, were totally passive. At the very least, it seems to me, they should have cut off his supply of food and water. A friend of mine, Harold Steele, as Fire Chief in Vancouver, Washington refused to send his men up in trees after supposedly stranded cats. They'd come down, he said, when they were hungry enough. Sure enough, they must have. "We've never found any cat skeletons in any trees," he liked to say. "Tre's" lawyer discussed some sort of arrangement that would allow him to descend with "dignity." Strange request for a gross young punk who over the last 10 days publicly and openly defecated in a bucket in full view of the people working in the building and, assuming that there are those who go in for that sort of thing, onlookers below. (Maybe, now that he is down - we can work out some sort of swap so he can be sent to the Philadelphia police.) Now, the rest of you - stop reading this and get back to work. Tre and the other activists need your tax dollars.
 
July 17 - "Stress control. There is such a thing as being too quick." Tony Mason
 
*********** I may go to jail. You could, too. The worst part of it is, I didn't even know I was doing anything wrong. Let's go back to the beginning. I picked up a hitchhiker last week. Nice enough kid. Said he was going to the same place I was. But when we pulled into a rest stop, he spotted a nice, new Porsche Boxxster parked there. Nice car, just a bit more expensive than my Bronco II. Well, we stopped and got out, and he walked over to the guy in the Porsche and started talking,, and the next thing I knew, he got in the Porsche and away they went. And that's the last I saw of him. But it's not the last I'll hear of him, I guess, because Friday I was informed by the FBI that the kid was wanted for some offense he committed a couple of months ago - and I'm going to have serve time! For transporting him! Even though I didn't know a thing about the crimes he committed - before I even met him! Okay, okay. I lied a little. It didn't happen to me. But it did happen to Duke. To their basketball program. The one that has taken such pride in winning by the rules. Duke now must take its place in the Cheater's Hall of Fame, right up there alongside UNLV. And they didn't even know they were cheating. What they did was recruit a kid named Corey Maggette, a very talented, leap-through-the-ceiling kind of player, who spent exactly one year at Duke and then jumped to the NBA. In that one year, helped by a talented group in which Maggette played a spectacular but relatively minor part, Duke made it to the 1999 NCAA finals, losing to UConn. Now, with Maggette a distant memory in Durham, it has been disclosed that when he was in high school, long before he had selected a college, a certain sleazy AAU coach (or is that redundant?), was paying Maggette and others to play on his summer team. This is an NCAA offense, for which the kid - and any school that knows of this and recruits him - should be sanctioned. But the NCAA doesn't work that way. The kid, although having essentially defrauded Duke, is free and clear. But the Blue Devils, although there is no reason to believe they had any idea what was going on, do not get off so easy. Duke will likely be required by the NCAA to forfeit its second-place finish, and return its share of NCAA Tournament money, amounting to more than $200,000. Moral: Be careful who you pick up.
 
*********** Steve Suhey was 19 when he arrived at Penn State in the fall of 1941, but with World War II going on, he left State College following his sophomore year to serve in the Pacific, and didn't return for another three years. Back at Penn State, he had two years of eligibility left, and in 1947, was captain of Coach Bob Higgins' unbeaten Nittany Lions' team. He was an All-American guard in 1947, and years later, in 1985, he would be named to the National Football Foundation College Hall of Fame. After Penn State, he played a couple of years with the Steelers while earning his degree in the off-season, then spent a couple more years as a high school coach in Waynesboro, Pennsylvania before returning to State College and entering a career in sales. He married Virginia Higgins, his coach's daughter, and the Suheys had seven children. Steve Suhey died on January 8, 1977 - his 55th birthday - but he left quite a legacy. In 1976, the football season preceding his death, he had the rare opportunity of seeing three of his sons - Larry, Paul and Matt - play on the same Penn State team. Larry is now a sales representative in State College. Paul is an orthopedic surgeon in Jacksonville, Florida. And Matt is an investment banker in the Chicago area. He is also the executor of the late Walter Payton's estate. You may or may not remember Matt, but for eight seasons with the Chicago Bears, he was the fullback in front of Walter Payton. The guy who did the blocking. "He was the toughest person I've ever known," Matt Suhey told USA Today. "People talk about this great back or that one. I don't care. I know they're not like Walter." Suhey stayed close to Payton, throughout his final battle, and said that the trust that they developed on the playing field is the reason why Payton chose him to administer his estate. "We trusted each other when we played," he said. "We had to, because we depended on each other. I think he trusted I would try to do the right thing for his family."
 
*********** Wow. I never thought I'd find myself siding with skateboarders. And then I read a letter to the Wall Street Journal reacting to an article about the pressure being brought on governments all over the US to provide skateboard parks. This guy, who calls himself Christopher Bodkin and indentifies himself as a Councilman in the town of Islip, Long Island (New York), writes, I would never vote to spend one cent of public money on a skateboard park." Why? The problem, Mr. Bodkin says, is that "only boys skateboard." He says that he has never seen a girl on a skateboard. "It's not a sport girls participate in," he observes. "It's just not what girls do." As I read it, I wanted to say, "so?" I also wondered what kind of a gender-neutral twerp this guy was. "It's simply wrong," he concluded, "morally and perhaps legally, to spend hundreds of thousands of tax dollars dollars on a sport that girls want no part of." Couldn't Mr. Bodkin just as easily be referring to football?
 
*********** "Living in this country and not learning our language is like keeping your first wife's picture in your current wife's bedroom." Paul Harvey 
 
*********** A local high school basketball coach whom I will not name, is in some deep doo-doo. He is a good man. He is a good coach. He has had a team that went unbeaten and won the state championship in his state's largest classification, and he has been to the state tournament on several occasions. He has also been accused of assaulting a referee. A few weeks ago, he was coaching his kids in a summer league game, and received his second technical foul. Ejection. Followed by argument. The referee claims that he got in the official's face and jabbed him in the chest with his finger. The coach's explanation is that as he was jabbing with his finger for emphasis, the referee walked into it. I wasn't there. I didn't see it. I want him to be cleared. But there are a few issues that remain. First of all, his athletic director claims that there will be no action taken regardless of how this plays out, because summer league is not a school activity. I'd like to see what a good lawyer could with that one. Second of all, what the *#$%&* is he doing getting two technicals in a summer league game, and why is he so exercized about the officiating? (Actually, I'd like to ask "what the *#$%&* is he doing coaching his kids at all?" but in his state it's legal, and if he didn't do it, some sleazeball AAU street-agent probably would.) But third, it should be obvious to all of us by now that we are no longer role models for just the kids; like it or not, we now have to model correct behavior for some of those nuts in the stands who conceived those kids. I mean, how can we expect today's idiot parents to witness coaches attacking officials and not think that they, too, can get after the officials? (And, I might add, the coaches.)
 
*********** I think any judge in the U.S. would approve a name change here. I read an article recently about Americans and their high-fat diets. And their super-sized portions. And the way they overeat. (Hey! I'm talkin' to you! You gonna eat all those fries?) The author was the chairwoman of the Department of Nutrition and Food Studies at NYU. Her name is Marion Nestle.
 
*********** It's official. Just as such euphemisms as "troubled youth," "at risk children," "the homeless," and "affordable housing," have slipped seamlessly into the daily news, our government has decreed that we must discontinue the use of the term "Rogue States" to describe North Korea, Libya, Iraq and the rest. Undoubtedly remembering when that horrid Reagan fellow referred to Russian as the "Evil Empire," and realizing the deleterious effect on a nation's self-esteem of feeling "excluded," our State Department has officially proclaimed them henceforth to be "States of Concern."
July 14 - "It's not the things we don't know that get us into trouble. It's the things we know that just ain't so."Will Rogers
 
TRIVIA ANSWER: Arnie Weinmeister died recently, and we read scarcely a word about it. He was only, at one time, (and I quote the "Professional Football 1953 Year Book" from which the photo at left is taken) "hailed by all experts as one of the great tackles of all time." He was a New York Giant, who played under Coach Steve Owen alongside such greats as Emlen Tunnell, Charlie Conerly, Tom Landry, Kyle Rote and Frank Gifford. Tough? He retired as a player to devote himself full-time to his career with the Teamsters Union, rising from organizer to a position of great power, pulling down the highest salary of any union executive in the country, while managing to avoid any trace of the many scandals that plagued the union. But according to his wishes, his passing last month, at the age of 77, went largely unnoticed even in Seattle, where he played his college football at the University of Washington, and where he maintained his Teamsters offices. An unassuming man, it was at his request that there was only the smallest of notices of his death in the newspapers, and no funeral or memorial service. Arnie Weinmeister was born in Saskatchewan to German immigrant parents, and played his high school football in Portland after his family moved there. He briefly attended the University of Washington before entering the service in World War II, and after three years fighting in Europe, returned to Washington where he earned All-American football honors and a college degree as well. After Washington, he signed to play professionally in the All-America Football Conference, which was then competing with the NFL, but in 1950 he joined the Giants. In all four of his seasons with the Giants, from 1950 to 1953, he was a unanimous All-Pro, considered the most dominant defensive tackle of his time, but in 1954 he jumped to the B.C. Lions of the Canadian Football League as a player-coach. The Giants sued to retain his services, but Weinmeister won, becoming a free agent and making football history at the time. He played for two years in Canada, then joined the Teamsters in 1956 as an organizer. His rise in the union most likely was connected in some way with the fact that Seattle was then the Teamsters' headquarters, the home base of Dave Beck, Jimmy Hoffa's predecessor as leader of the union; Weinmeister was one of Beck's pallbearers when he died in 1993. Another part of the reason for his success, though, had to be his honesty. While other Teamster leaders went off to jail and Hoffa himself disppeared, Weinmeister remained in office. Not that he was exactly a patsy. He was a huge man, who had excelled in the pro football wars while working in the off-season as a salesman for Rainier Beer, and in working his way up through the union ranks, he had fought and won his share of internal labor wars. "After you've been attacked for 15 years, your hide is tough enough not to feel the needle," he told a reporter in 1971. When he retired in 1992, he had risen to International Vice-President of the Teamsters, and directed the 40,000-member, 13-state Western Conference of Teamsters, for which he was paid a salary of $500,000 - more than any other union official in the world. So dominant a force was he in professional football that despite playing only four years in the NFL, Arnie Weinmeister is a member of the NFL Hall of Fame. (Correctly identifying Arnie Weinmeister were: Ken Brierly - Carolina, Rhode Island... Kevin McCullough - Lakeville, Indiana... Adam Wesoloski- De Pere, Wisconsin... Steve Staker - Fredericksburg, Iowa)
 
*********** The NFL held a mandatory rookie conference recently for all 254 draftees. Teachers and coaches would recognize it as a fancy form of "in-service," those stupefying sessions - usually held after school - in which teachers are supposedly educated, exhorted and enlightened by supposed experts. The NFL rookies had to listen to presentations from Kerry Collins, who spoke about his problems with alcohol; Ray Lewis, who talked about avoiding bad company; Leonard Little, who evidently told them it's not cool to kill people when you're driving drunk; and Keyshawn Johnson, who no doubt lectured them on the importance of humility and respecting your teammates. Too bad Rae Carruth couldn't make it; he could have told them a thing or two about the relative merits of abortion versus murder, assuming that there is a difference. Lawrence Taylor, now that he's out after 90 days of house arrest, could have given them some tax tips. ("Don't screw with the IRS.") And Mark Chmura? He could pass along the message of Promise Keepers. Of the 254 rookies "invited " to attend the conference in Carlsbad, California, only one failed to attend. Ron Dayne. It's going to cost him. He's been fined $10,000, which is about the cost of a wristwatch for a guy with his contract. But what a chance he had to make a statement! He could have struck a blow for any coach who's ever had to attend a mandatory inservice. But instead of striking a blow, he blew it. He could have been a stand-up guy about the whole thing and said, "I'm not going, because this is bull----." But, no. Instead, he played weasel, reaching in his pocket and fishing out some lame note from a doctor saying he had an earache.
 
*********** Bob Kravitz, in the Denver Rocky Mountain News suggests putting Earl Woods and Richard Williams in a room and seeing what happens.
 
*********** Pro football has its "wedge busters." those spiritual descendants of the Kamikaze pilots who run down under kickoffs and sacrifice all just to break up the return team's wedge. I don't know whether Eddie Stanky ever played a down of football, but if he did he had to be a wedge-buster, because he came from a section of Philadelphia where it has never been easy to locate a patch of grass. He certainly played the game of baseball like a guy who didn't have a lot of regard for his own health, consistently leading the National League in times hit by pitches. He could be counted on take one for the team. Nicknamed "The Brat," because he would stop at nothing to beat you, Stanky was the perfect field leader for manager Leo Durocher, a fiercely combative sort himself. When his playing days were over, Stanky, who died last year, tried his hand at managing in the majors, but found a home in Mobile, Alabama, where he coached the University of South Alabama until his retirement. The Arizona Diamondbacks' Luis Gonzalez, who played at South Alabama after Stanky left, remembered Stanky returning to South Alabama's practices on occasion to talk to the young players about his ideas on the game of baseball. Gonzalez recalled in an interview with the Wall Street Journal's Frederick Klein that Stanky believed there were two types of ballplayers, "bulls" and "ants." "The bulls were the guys with talent. They could come along and settle a game with one swing of the bat. " On the other hand, Gonzalez recalled, "The ants were the scrappy guys, like he used to be. They have to do what they can to help a team - get a single, coax a walk, steal a base, get hit by a pitch." Convince your kids that every team needs more ants.
 
*********** Several years ago, Missouri contracted to play UCLA in football. It's pretty common for schools, especially major schools, to do their out-of-conference scheduling far in advance. But now, years after the deal was made, Missouri wants out. In fact, Missouri is out. And UCLA is going to sue. It's not easy to find another opponent on short notice. Missouri seemed to have no better reason for worming out of the agreed-on date than the explanation that it's "overscheduled." That being the case, in the remote event that Missouri can somehow deal with the Nebraskas and Kansas States and achieve national ranking, I hope the voters in the polls will remember this little detail should the Tigers run it up against Southern Illinois or whoever they bring in on the day they should have been in Los Angeles.
 
*********** A school board member in Parkrose, Oregon, a Portland suburb that has seen better days, has been carrying on a one-woman war against the prostitutes that infest its main drag. While on a recent stakeout, she drove slowly past a somewhat streetwise-looking teenage girl standing by the curb, and took her picture. The girl saw what had happened and went to get her mother, who was inside a store, shopping. When daughter and mom came out of the store and saw our crusader parked at the curb, they walked over to her car and began demanding the film from the camera. Our woman, claiming she felt threatened, rolled down her window and hit the young girl with a blast of pepper spray. Well, there was hell to pay, because this was no prostitute. This was an innocent little girl. Our woman was arrested and charged with assault, and several other members of the school board called on her to resign. Hoo boy - was she in trouble. Until Friday, that is, when it was suddenly announced that the prosecution was dropping charges against her. Seems the girl's mother's credibility as a witness was in question, after she was arrested. For prostitution.
 

*********** TODAY'S SAFETY TIP: From the law-enforcement folks in Washington County, Oregon, after the recent drowning of two non-swimmers who waded into the deep waters of a lake: "People who can't swim should wear life preservers when they go swimming."

July 13 - "Let us resolve that we shall leave to our children and our children's children an even mightier heritage than we received in our turn."Theodore Roosevelt, Portland Oregon, 1903
 
*********** TRIVIA QUESTION: He played in three different professional leagues. Although he played only four years in the NFL, he is a member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame, possibly because he was a unanimous All-Pro all four of those years and was generally considered the best tackle in the game, if not the best ever up to that time. He died recently. Extra clue: he played in the AAFC for the Yankees, in the NFL for the Giants, and in the CFL for the B.C. Lions (Three persons have guessed correctly so far - answer Friday)
 
***********Coach Steve Rodriguez, from Wells, Nevada, was in nearby Vancouver, Washington visiting his folks recently, so he stopped by my place for a few hours. Talk about a man on the spot! Steve was Coach Marty Linford's right-hand man at Wells the past three years, and coached the defensive side of the ball as the Leopards went 11-1 this past season, losing only in the state class 2-A finals. When Coach Linford took another job closer to his home in Wyoming, and Coach Rodriguez was named his successor. Losing only one starter (Wells kids go both ways), you would have to figure Wells to be tough again in 2000. I have been to Wells for a camp the past two summers, and I know that those are great kids - tough and hard-working, with talented runners. But then Wells, whose enrollment has been declining, was dropped to class 1-A, meaning a return to the 8-man football that it once played. And meaning, for Coach Rodriguez, learning to adapt both his offense and his defense to the wide-open 8-man game it played some 10 years ago. After our meeting, though, I don't think the offensive adjustment will be all that difficult. I had already discussed this with several coaches, including Coach Daren Hatch, of Arapahoe, Nebraska, who was at my Denver clinic and will be moving to 8-man in 2001. So while Coach Rodriguez was at my house we called Coach Hatch, who said that although he will still be playing 11-man (Double-Wing) at the varsity level this year, his JV's will be playing 8-man. His thinking and mine have remained pretty muchthe same since we spoke in Denver, running along the lines of "Half-Wing" and "Half-Cat", running Double-Wing and Wildcat without one wingback or the other (and two of the interior linemen). But I don't envy Coach Rodriguez when I think of the defensive planning he faces: with so few men covering a full-size field, zone coverage is almost out of the question, and as he pointed out from a previous 8-man experience, if one man misses a tackle, it is all over. I also don't envy him the job of having to deal with community expectations: Wells people have all but bought their tickets to the state finals, and the kids can hardly escape being pumped full of how easy everything is going to be. Anybody who's ever been in that position knows that it's one of the toughest spots a coach can ever be in. And finally, I don't envy the Leopards the travel that the re-classification presents them: their closest game is at Owyhee, a 2-3/4 hours' ride on a school bus, 95 miles of it along a winding, two-lane secondary state road. The next closest is McDermitt, straddling the Oregon line 230 miles away.
 
*********** The WB network's newest show, "Young Americans," premiered last night.(No, I didn't watch it. Are you kidding me?) It is set in a fictional New England prep school, and its central theme is said to be the interplay between all those sex-starved young guys in the boarding school and all those lovely young "townies" (female, I think) lounging around downtown looking like the girls from Hee-Haw. (Anybody remember them?) Apart from the fact that you can expect to see a lot of Coke being drunk on the show (Coca-Cola advanced them $8 million, without which there wouldn't be any "Young Americans"), it is supposed to be about teenagers. "I wanted to write a show," says its creator and producer, Steve Antin, "about what it felt like to be a teenager, that tiny window between 15 and 17 when the possibilities seemed endless and I felt invincible, when everything seemed so monumental and melodramatic." Blah, blah, blah. Now, here's one of the things that has always ticked me off about those shows, that do so much to influence the way so many of our teenagers think, talk and act - of the five stars playing teenagers on "Young Americans", only one is a teenager. ("I'm not a teenager. But I play one on TV.")
 
***********Fully one-third of the Oregon kids who started high school as ninth-graders four years ago dropped out by the time their class graduated this past June. There is some credibility being given to the argument that kids are being discouraged by school reform - by Oregon's new graduation requirements. Reformers, of course, beingf the dreamers that they are, figured that kids who failed these tests - administered in 10th grade - would hang around and work hard until they passed them. Surprise! They dropped out, instead. I thought of this immediately when I read a recent letter in the Wall Street Journal by Mack Moore, Professor emeritus of Economics at Georgia Tech. Professor Moore called the new, ever-tightening high school graduation requirements being imposed on kids around the country "sadistic practices," whose purpose is to create "artificial demand for the education industry." (In other words, keep 'em in school or we'll have to lay off teachers.) Hear the man out. He points out that while we wail over such statistics as the 60 per cent of Philadelphia's school children who are "essentially failing science and math," few jobs in the United States require math or science. Or even English. As Mr. Moore writes, "most of our really productive work, such as in food processing, home construction, agriculture and apparel plants is being done by immigrants, most of whom can't even speak or write English." Daring to venture into the area of political incorrectness by arguing that, "contrary to the party line, all men- and women - are not created equal," he calls it "advanced child abuse" to try to force all of our high school graduates to be college-ready. "No wonder," he says, "young people are rebelling."
 

*********** Bet you didn't know this is BLT season. That means bacon, lettuce and tomato, as in sandwich. I now know this, because I read in the Wall Street Journal the other day that BLT season hits in July, and creates a large demand for bacon. This is important, I guess, if you invest in pork bellies futures (I don't). Why July, and not sooner? Because, genius, to make a BLT you have to wait until the tomatoes ripen!

 
*********** Some tennis players are really punks. A whiny little puke named Jeff Tarango lost at Wimbledon to a fellow Stanford guy, and refused to shake his hand afterward, implying that he had cheated. Contrast that with golf, where people penalize themselves for rules infractions when nobody's even looking, and where Tiger Woods, who I gather is at least as big in his sport as Jeff Tarango is in his, spent his day off caddying for a former Stanford teammate. 
 
*********** I asked a skateboarder to get off our high school tennis courts the other day. Well, the first time, I asked. But when he stood fast and started to rant about not being able to go anywhere in our town without being chased, I did have to become a trifle insistent. I pointed to a sign over the gate clearly saying "NO SKATEBOARDS," and asked him why he supposed they put that sign there. The young man, a tall, thin, blonde individual, undoubtedly of northern European extraction, replied, "Because they're racist, bro!" Huh? Racist? Bro? Now, that is a new one. Has he learned somewhere that calling someone racist (sexist? homophobic?) immediately puts them on the defensive, no matter how absurd the charge? As a matter of fact, I don't know if you've noticed the same thing I have, but in my entire life I have seen exactly one black skateboarder.

*********** "The offenses I see are all so stereotyped and each team looks like a mirror of the next team." No, it's not Hugh Wyatt, year 2000. It's Bennie Friedman, old-time pro quarterback and operator of QB camps for kids, talking about the NFL - in 1969.

July 12 - "Convince the kids that if they do the things you ask, and learn the techniques you teach, they are going to be able to play with anybody." Grant Teaff
 
*********** TRIVIA QUESTION: He played in three different professional leagues. Although he played only four years in the NFL, he is a member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame, possibly because he was a unanimous All-Pro all four of those years and was generally considered the best tackle in the game, if not the best ever up to that time. He died recently. Extra clue: he played in the AAFC for the Yankees, in the NFL for the Giants, and in the CFL for the B.C. Lions (Two persons have guessed correctly so far)
 
*********** It's easy for politicians - many of whom I agree with on most other points - to keep pushing for merit pay for teachers. Whenever I used to hear that, I would immediately think of the two groups who had already saved their places at the trough, in case merit pay ever went through: the faculty super-stars and the principal's lapdogs. The super-stars who always manage to do such a great job of getting their pictures in the papers because of something flashy and ":innovative" they are doing to "make learning fun," when in actuality they aren't necessarily all that good at the less glamorous, day-to-day aspects of teaching, and the second, who seem particularly good at licking the principal's feet. There always seemed to be quite a bit of overlap between the two groups. All that merit pay would do, as it was originally explained, was enrich those people and destroy faculty morale without actually rewarding good teachers. So now the politicians would like to pay teachers based on their kids' performance on standardized tests. Sounds great. Except you know and I know that we are encountering more and more kids on whom we have less and less effect. A report by Professor Laurence Steinberg of Temple University, collaborating with associates from Stanford and Wisconsin, chronicles the results of a 10-year study of more than 20,000 teenagers, and reaches a conclusion that few teachers would disagree with: "the sorry state of American student achievement is due more to the conditions of students' lives outside of school than it is to what takes place within school walls." May I suggest that before we start tying teachers' pay - or jobs - to student performance, we do the same for our politicians? Perhaps when they, too have a financial interest in improving student performance, our leaders would find the stones to impose - and enforce - curfews and truancy laws; reduce - and enforce - hours students can work at jobs; raise the legal driving age; impose harsh penalties for drug and alcohol offenses on both sellers and users; end social promotion, even if it means 19-year-olds in the eighth grade. Oh. And restrict MTV's broadcasting to two hours a day. And that's just for starters.
 
*********** "Former UCLA coach, Terry Donahue, will go into the College Football Hall Of Fame with the next group. (I worked for him for 11 years.) He did the best job with team rules that I ever saw. He had only two. One was that you could not have a girl in a hotel room. If you did, there was to be no explanation, no phone call to your parents, nothing - you were gone. Period! The other was that you could never say anything derogatory about USC. If you did, you would wish you had not. (Terry knew he could win with errant players but not against angry Trojans.) No player was even suspected of having a girl in his room and only one tried to be funny in talking about the Trojans, in my 11 years. The player was James Washington, who had close friends on the USC team. Terry stood him up in a team meeting and verbally took off about two layers of his skin. When he was finished, everyone understood that games are tough enough without inciting the opposition. Terry beat the Trojans 8 times in those 11 years." By permission from Coach Homer Smith
 
*********** According to a Boston organization that calls itself the International Association for Gender Education (sounds like a fun place to work) sex-change operations in the U.S. are increasing at a rate of 10% per year, with 5,000 performed in 1999. Did you know that in those cases, most states will reissue a person a new birth certificate, reflecting the person's "new" sex?
 
*********** In Edmonton, a charity tried a unique fund-raiser. They called it the Couch Potato Challenge. (Couldn't call it the Couch Potato "Olympics," because the name is "Olympics" is trademarked, the property of gazillionaires named Lord Something-or-Other who live in castles in Europe and travel around the world first-class taking large bribes from local politicians.) Sounded pretty cool, with events like the commercial-break snack-dash, in which contestants had to wind their way through an obstacle course of cones to get to a refrigerator, where they'd grab a drink, race back to the couch, and chug the drink (I couldn't find out what kind of drink); the remote-race, in which the competitors had to hurdle furniture trying to be first to the remote control; and, of course, potato chip eating - for speed and quantity.
 
*********** It's rare that two stories converge the way these two do, but I'd been reading about the guys who have been trying to sell old playbooks over the Internet when I read last week that Karl Sweetan died and I started digging. No, not what you think. I started digging for a story about him that I'd filed away years ago. Sweetan, former pro quarterback, died at the age of 57 in Vegas, where he'd been working as a dealer in a casino. Pro quarterback? Karl Sweetan tried his luck, in this order, with the Toronto Argonauts, the minor-league Pontiac Arrows, the Detroit Lions, the New Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Rams and, finally - well, almost - the Edmonton Eskimos, where he was cut before playing a game. In 1971, his playing career over and his wallet a little light, he made headlines when he tried to sell one NFL team's offensive playbook to another team. For $2,500. If it were today, he wouldn't have been doing anything so slimy - teams would be the slimy one, crawling all over each other to sign him as a back-up QB. (Not that $2,500 was all that paltry then, since a year's tuition at Stanford was only $2,850.) In the 1971-72 off-season, after Sweetan approached J.D. Roberts, the coach of the Saints, with an offer to sell him a 1971 Los Angeles Rams playbook, Roberts notified the FBI. Wired for his next meeting with Sweetan, Roberts provided the FBI with enough evidence to charge Sweetan with interstate transportation of stolen property and fraud by wire. Tommy Prothro was then coach of the Rams, and although Sweetan had returned the Ram's playbook when he was cut, as has always been the custom ("Coach wants to see you. Bring your playbook," are usually the last words a player hears before the coach tells him maybe he'll have better luck somewhere else), Sweetan had photocopied it first. Prothro told Sports Illustrated's Tex Maule that he, himself, wasn't much of a playbook guy: "I really don't learn by reading things," he told Maule. "I learn by seeing something and talking about it. Consequently, I've never believed in writing it all down. But all of our other coaches believe in it, and if these young, smart guys believe in it, I'm all for having one." Green Bay's Dan Devine said he wouldn't give $5 for somebody else's playbook. Don Shula said a playbook was only a system, and not a game plan. Cincinnati's Paul Brown said, "There's very little in a playbook that could help one team against another in a given game. Better you should have a quarterback who can throw the ball." As writer Maule pointed out, even back then there was little difference from one pro team's playbook to the next. The main difference was in the nomenclature each team used. The Rams' Prothro, although a brilliant individual who was a life master in bridge, admitted that he couldn't always remember the name the Rams used for a particular play: "I'll ask an assistant every once in a while, 'That pitch where the quarterback swings around end and we trap the first man from the tackle's nose outside - what the hell are we calling that now?'" Prothro said that far more valuable than knowing what a team does is knowing what it doesn't do. "If you know something they won't do," he said, "then you don't have to protect against it." Billy Wilson, a retired wide receiver with the 49ers, said he had a garage full of playbooks from his playing days. "What's the going price? $2500?" he asked Maule. "I think I'll have a garage sale now. Two for $4,000."
 
July 11 - "You do run into officials who lack courage." Woody Hayes
 
*********** TRIVIA QUESTION: He played in three different professional leagues. Although he played only four years in the NFL, he is a member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame, possibly because he was a unanimous All-Pro all four of those years and was generally considered the best tackle in the game, if not the best ever up to that time. He died recently. (One person has guess correctly so far)
 
*********** Tired of the locals sitting around the Cozy Cafe drinking their coffee and criticizing your coaching? It could be a lot worse, Coach. You could be coaching soccer in Italy. Last week, in the finals of the European Championships, the Italian national team led France, 1-0, when time ran out. But wait - there was penalty time to be added on. Thirty seconds' worth. And in that half-minute, France scored to send the game into overtime. And then - you guessed it - France won it in overtime, 2-1. Back in Italy, the leader of one of Italy's major political parties, who also happens to own one of Italy's professional teams, pronounced the defeat "dishonorable." That was enough for Italy's coach, Dino Zoff, who resigned.
 
*********** Hoo Boy, is he gonna get it! Talk about judgmental! No sooner had the gay pride parade ended, concluding a week-long festival in Rome, than this guy who calls himself John Paul II (I'll bet that's not even his real name) stood on a balcony and called the festival an "insult" and "an offense to Christian values," saying Sunday that homosexual acts are "contrary to natural law." Wow! I hope he is ready to defend himself against charges that he is a "homophobe," a "mean-spirited" one at that, who is "preaching hate." Who does he think he is, anyhow - The Pope?
 
*********** And then there is Alex Soyland, an 18-year-old Norwegian high schooler, who left for home Saturday after a year in the U.S. as an AFS exchange student. His "host family" was David DeMoss, a Forest Grove, Oregon college professor and Geoffrey Wren, a Portland lawyer. They have been "partners" for 15 years now.
 

*********** "I enjoyed your "rant" (about losing the hot dog-eating championship to a Japanese competitor - on July 4th, yet) but wish to point out that Americans have done well in traditional Japanese pursuits. The main example is Akebono, a Hawaiian, who became Yokuzuna (Grand Champion for Life) in that most traditional of Japanese pursuits, Sumo. At 6 foot 9 inches and 570 pounds, Akebono dwarfs other wrestlers and, in the Sumo tradition, is very humble. I lived in Japan when Akebono was rising through the ranks. The fact that he was not Japanese was thought to have been too great an obstacle to overcome to become Yokuzuna. He overcame it by beating everyone. The avid Japanese Sumo fans experienced far greater angst over an American becoming Sumo Grand Champion than many hotdog eaters now feel. So we can maintain a small measure of national pride vs. Japan. Football starts August 14th. I can't wait! Regards, Keith Babb, Northbrook, Illinois"

 
*********** I was riding on the prairie between the Edmonton airport and downtown Edmonton a couple of weeks ago when I saw a very familiar big, red "R" on a billboard. Whoa! Could it be? Could it possibly be? I asked Bryan Buchkowsky, the driver. Could that possibly be a Rainier Beer billboard, way up here in the North? Yep, he said, they sell Rainier Beer in Alberta. Hey, Rainier is barely hanging on in Washington, its home state, and yet here in Canada, where they make enough good beer that you wouldn't think they'd need the Yanks shipping them any more, Rainier can still afford to advertise. Meanwhile, back in the states... the huge, bright red "R" that sat since at least 1952 atop the old Rainier brewery, hard by Interstate 5, came down last Monday, another bit of an older way of life that keeps giving way to the "progress." In its place is a big, green "T", for Tully's Coffee, which has taken over a part of the old brewery. Coffee and Seattle. It figures. Well, at least it's a locally-owned coffee company.
 
*********** "Coach, is your new video on Youth Drills ready yet? As a point of interest to you (here comes another Double Wing success story), the Double Wing is expanding here in the (very competitive) Grand Rapids (MI) Catholic Youth League. I've run the Double Wing for two years at St. Thomas the Apostle, with much, much success (the head referee, an old time Catholic Central booster, told me last year that it's the best youth offense run in the league). My son's baseball coach (an ex-division 1 punt/kick returner who claims to have never called for a fair catch - and people think linemen are stupid!), who will be coaching the St. Paul team this year, told me that he, too, will be running the double wing this year. My oldest son, who is either going to be a quarterback or an entrepreneur (or, better, a combination of the two--say, a high school coach capable of successfully marketing great football ideas) remarked that Coach Wyatt should have sold us an exclusive West Michigan franchise--otherwise, he said, everybody is going to be running the offense in a couple of years. I told him I wasn't sure I could convince the boosters to reimburse me the cost of a franchise. Speaking of developing football players, one additional selling point on the Double Wing as a youth league offense: typical youth league offenses assign linemen only the tedious job of "straight ahead" blocking. There's little thinking involved--little required, and so kids draw the conclusion that it must not be very important. The intricate (but logical) rules of line blocking used in the DW leaves a different impression. Those rules also add to the regiment football inherently offers and boys inherently (we're talking nature, not nurture, here) crave. Jim Ens, Grand Rapids, Michigan"
 
*********** The NFL is all excited about its latest weapon in the war against the invaders from WWF. It's the "UmpireCam," a TV camera attached to the hat of an official, and the NFL is going to experiment with it during exhibition games. FOX used it in its coverage of NFL Europe's World Bowl. The WWF's new league, the XFL, has already announced that it will place cameras and mikes on the hats of officials and in the helmets of players, and will freely explore the sidelines and boldly enter the huddles. No word yet on the rest rooms.
July 10 - "There isn't any such thing an an easy touchdown. There is a quick touchdown." Duffy Daugherty
 
*********** TRIVIA QUESTION: He played in three different professional leagues. Although he played only four years in the NFL, he is a member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame, possibly because he was a unanimous All-Pro all four of those years and was generally considered the best tackle in the game, if not the best ever up to that time. He died recently.
 
*********** You wanna talk politically-incorrect nicknames? I was reminded of one of the best - or, from someone's point of view, worst - a couple of weeks ago, when a monster brush fire threatened nuclear-waste sites on the Hanford Nuclear Reservation a couple of hours to the east of us. The town of Richland, Washington sprang up during World War II, as a place to house workers at Hanford. The workers were out there in what was then the middle of nowhere making plutonium, the essential ingredient in the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. So Richland's high school teams are called, appropriately enough, the Bombers.

*********** "Thanks for the DW...Coach Wyatt, We finish second in our league...losing on the last play...with no seconds on the clock...12 to 6. 1st mistake... playing for the overtime which I was going to run 47 criss cross, 3 trap @ 2 and red-red... 2nd mistake...being too conservative... basically, I'm a defensive coach... Finish the season 3-5...(1-1) with the DW... Gaining well over 300 yards rushing and three times as many snaps than our opponents... What's next...to win the league championship...and all-star tournaments...When we enter all-star tournaments last season and we surprise a lot of all-star coaches with our ability to compete on that level with our league team...WE START OUR SEASON ON JULY 17TH...WHEN WILL THE YOUTH VIDEO BE AVAILABLE…Thanks, Coach Brian Maxey, Missouri City, Texas" (My answer to Coach Maxey: The Youth drills will be a three-video series:1. The first part: getting ready, getting basic - and doing it without pads; 2. Basic, generic offensive and defensive drills; 3. Coaching the QB - The first one is about 2-3 weeks away from shipping.)

 
*********** "Hugh, I'm writing this e-mail in the hopes that one of your readers might be interested: I am the head football coach and the head of the math department at a coastal, suburban high school in southeastern Connecticut. We currently have an opening in both of these areas. We are looking for someone who wants to teach from a "standards-based" math curriculum and coach traditional double wing football. Our school has recently received some academic excellence awards particularly in the area of AP testing. Our football team has been 32-2 over the last three years including one state championship. The salary for a beginning teacher with a bachelors degree would be about 33,000. A teacher with 15 years experience and a masters degree would make about 63,000. We have some beautiful towns in our area and it is a great place to raise a family. If anyone is interested please e-mail me at memery01@snet.net. Thanks for your help Hugh. Sincerely, Mike Emery" GUYS: FOR WHAT IT IS WORTH, I PERSONALLY ASKED COACH EMERY, HEAD MAN AT FITCH HS IN GROTON, CONNECTICUT, IF BY CHANCE THEY ALSO HAD ANY SOCIAL STUDIES OPENINGS. THIS IS A GREAT OPPORTUNITY. I HAVE MET COACH EMERY AT A COUPLE OF MY CLINICS. HE IS A GREAT FOOTBALL MAN WHO RUNS AN EXCEPTIONAL PROGRAM, AND AS THE HEAD OF THE MATH DEPARTMENT, HE HAS CONSIDERABLE RESPONSIBILITY TO HIRE AND EVALUATE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING???? I'M SAYING, HE WOULD BE YOUR BOSS ON THE FIELD AND IN THE BUILDING. HOW GREAT IS THAT? PLUS, GROTON REALLY IS IN A BEAUTIFUL PART OF THE COUNTRY, AND IT'S LESS THAN AN HOUR FROM PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND, WHICH HAPPENS TO BE ONE OF MY FAVORITE CITIES. IT DON'T GET MUCH BETTER THAN THAT! (THERE GOES MY SHOT AT AN ENGLISH JOB.) SO UNLESS YOU ARE ALREADY COMMITTED, DROP EVERYTHING AND CONTACT COACH EMERY! HW
 
*********** Anthony Mason, Charlotte Hornets forward, was arrested in New Orleans last weekend, accused of starting a riot after "allegedly" hitting a police officer and "rallying" a crowd as police tried to break up a disturbance. Mason, 6-8 and 270, could have been a powerful force for good, instead of a handful for the New Orleans police. Interestingly, he said in the NBA's press guide that he planned someday to be involved in law enforcement, although, in the best Clinton fashion, he really didn't say on which side.
 
*********** Les Canadiens are for sale. Montreal-based Molson Breweries, saying they intend to "concentrate on beer," have decided to sell their hometown hockey team, a sports franchise which ranks right up there with the Yankees and Celtics in rich tradition. More than just a hockey franchise, the Canadiens have long been icons of French Canadian culture - that little "H" in the middle of the big "C" in their logo stands for "Habitants", the original French settlers of Canada. Molson promises that the franchise won't be moved, which sounds kind of reassuring until you realize there's zero danger of that ever happening - if the NHL were to allow the Canadiens to move from Montreal, it might just as well switch to indoor soccer. The greater danger by far is that Disney or some other bunch of marketing whizzes will get in there and give the Habs a makeover. I can just see the suits complaining: Hey, Al! What kind of mascot is a "Canadien," anyhow? What's one even look like? How about something like the IceCats? That we could promote: Come to McDonalds, kids, and get a free IceCat toy when you buy a MacPoulet avec pommes frites! Now, if we could just get McDonalds to say "McChicken with Fries." What's with all the French around here, anyhow? And those old-fashioned red-and-blue sweaters? Are you kiddin' me? They got to go. That's the same crap they were wearing in the 80's (the 30's if you really want to know, genius). Hey - all the focus groups tell us the kids'll buy a lot more jerseys if they're black and teal. (As my son, Ed, wrote when he heard the news, "Say it ain't so, Jaux.")
 
*********** You didn't have to be a rabid tennis fan to know about the Williams sisters' match at Wimbledon last Thursday. (That's "Wimble-ton," if you happen to be noted tennis fan Marv Albert). There is a lot of interest in Venus and Serena Williams. They are Americans, they are black, they are graceful and athletic young ladies, and they are very good tennis players. And there they were, meeting each other for the first time in a major tournament, in the Wimbledon semifinals. And there was NBC, playing it exactly the way they're going to be playing the Olympics: tape delay. The Williamses' match began in England at 9 AM Eastern Time, 6 Pacific; but NBC's daily Wimbledon broadcast wasn't scheduled to begin until 4 PM Eastern, 1 Pacific, so obviously, the Williams sisters would not be appearing live. Great. An entire morning of turning down the radio whenever sports came on, for fear we'd hear the result. But at last, the telecast came on. The telecast, but not the Williams sisters. Oh, no. Not yet. See, NBC had contracted for four hours of coverage, and they were not about to show us the featured match first. When the Williams match ended, we'd have all gone out and mowed the lawn. So the Williams tape sat in the taoe player while first they stuck us with a stale, day-old tape of a men's match. Stick around, chumps. The Williams sisters. Comin' right up! Next show starts any minute! Two hours or so later, we were finally treated to the match NBC had hyped so much. Get ready for the Olympics, delivered in the same fashion by NBC. Think you'll see the men's 100-meter final at the start of the show? Hah! Get ready for a nightly two-hour-and-fifty-nine-minute mix of "official sponsor" commercials and made-for-a-female-audience tear-jerkers ("The doctors told him he'd never walk again..."), culminating, in the last minute of the broadcast, in the event you tuned in to see - taped - which NBC will have spent the day hyping. At least that one minute (actually, 10 seconds or less) ought to be exciting, provided you can make it through the entire day without finding out who won.
July 7 - "You might get blocked, but you must never stay blocked." Charlie McClendon, former coach at LSU and former Executive Director of the AFCA
 
*********** TRIVIA: The answer to the trivia question is Johnny Bright. John Reardon, of LaSalle, Illinois was the only person to guess it without prompting from me. You have got to read about this guy! (MORE ABOUT JOHNNY BRIGHT)
 
*********** While you were busy stuffing yourself and setting off firecrackers, a little more of the America We Love slipped away. If you ask me, it was sold out from under our unsuspecting noses. I'm talking about a July 4 hot dog-eating contest. Not the one at Polack Johnny's on East Baltimore Street, either.("Polack Johnny is My Name...Polish Sausage is My Game.") I'm talking about the Big Apple. Nathan's Famous. Coney Island. There, on our nation's 224th birthday, a Japanese guy -yes, you heard correctly - A Japanese guy! - won Nathan's Famous' 85th annual hot dog-eating contest, wolfing down 25 hot dogs in 12 minutes. And now he'll take his winnings with him, back to Japan: a mustard-yellow championship belt, a trophy, and 20 pounds of Nathan's Famous. Bad enough I lived to see the day that the prestigious Nathan's World Championship Belt left our shores, but it gets worse: the second- and third-place finishers were also Japanese! On our Day of Independence! I don't know about you, but now I know how the English felt when the Indians started kicking their butts in cricket; how the Canadians felt when the Russians took over world hockey supremacy. The last time I remember feeling this sick was when we lost the America's Cup. What's going on here? I'll tell you what I suspect: while our national attention was diverted by sneaky deals with the Chinese for our missile technology, by forest fires and missing hard drives at Los Alamos, the real treachery was taking place in New York, where Japanese "businessmen" were stealthily buying up hot dogs and flying them back to the Land of the Rising Sun - one pound at a time! Tell me the Clinton administration didn't know! Money had to be changing hands! How else would those guys have got the hot dogs to train on? Don't you see? They don't have hot dogs in Japan! Have you seen what those people eat over there? I mean, rice, and seaweed and raw fish! And speaking of fishy, the guy who won the thing weighed 100 pounds! Are you kidding me? Did anybody think to check his urine? No! He's probably halfway to Tokyo by now. At least last year's winner was believable - some 390-pound red-blooded American from Atlantic City. He could only manage 12 this year! Explain that! Why were women in kimonos taking plates of food to his room all night before the contest? (One of them looked suspiciously like Hillary.) Are you going to try to tell me the CIA didn't know about this? Clinton had to know! Why weren't the American people told? I say follow the money, and it's sure to lead to the Democratic Party. They'd stop at nothing - even give away our hot-dog eating supremacy - just to build Clinton's legacy. And those Japanese - tell me they weren't pros! This calls for another Dream Team! I say we round up the best hot dog-eaters in the U.S. and sent them to train at the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs. I'd like to see our 100-pound Japanese friend come back next year - July 4, mark the date on your calendar, little man - and defend his precious Nathan's Belt against them!
 
*********** One of the blessings of having a home office is being able to listen to Rush Limbaugh. Not that he needs any help from me, but in the interest of intellectual fairness, I must say a word or two on his behalf. I mentioned earlier having received numerous versions of the e-mailing about the 56 signers of the Declaration of Independence and the severe price many of them paid for having put their names on the document. Like most of the stuff forwarded to me - some of it clever - it was unattributed. (That means no one was given credit for having written it.) Here is where I come, in my small way, to help Rush. The content of those e-mails stemmed from a speech that his dad, Rush Limbaugh, Jr., wrote, and for which he became well-known, delivering it on numerous occasions. Now, Mr. Limbaugh did the work of researching those facts, and he did the writing. It is only reasonable that he receive credit for being its creator. As a writer myself, this is important to me. I receive an awful lot of those mass mailings, and you may have noticed that I rarely use something of uncertain or unknown origin. That stuff that you forward to all the people on your list didn't come out of thin air. Somebody was clever enough to produce it. Give him credit. And under no circumstances pass something off as your work if it's the creation of someone else.
 
*********** People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wants the Green Bay packers to change their name. See, PETA says "Packers" conjures up images of the violence and bloodshed of a slaughterhouse, in case you're one of the 90 per cent of the people in the United States who don't even know what a "Packer" is. A guy from PETA whose title - this is no kidding, so I'm guessing it must also be his job - is "vegetarian campaign coordinator" wrote to the president of the Packers suggesting that the team make the relatively simple change to "Pickers," honoring those who harvest our nation's fruits and vegetables. Now, I've been in a slauighterhouse, and I grant you it wasn't a pretty place, but the Packers haven't actually been sponsored by a real meat-packing concern for 80 years. Come on, Guys - it's just a name. Besides, as the bumper sticker says, "If we're not supposed to eat animals, then why are they made of meat?"
 
*********** Penn State's quarterback Rashard Casey will find the transition to the NFL easier than most. You can tell, because not so very long ago he was locked up for beating up a white off-duty police officer presumably because he was escorting a black woman, and now he's on the cover of The Sporting News' college football preview, just as if nothing ever happened.
 
*********** So out of control is the latest pop-pet trend - keeping exotic cats around the house - that the Roar Foundation, an animal rights group in Acton, California, estimates that there are 7,000 pet tigers in the US. That's about the same number believed to be living in the wild all over the world.
 
*********** Teenage summer employment is lower than it's been in years, with an estimated 34% employed, down from 42% just a few years ago. Reflecting a nationwide trend, Portland-area fast-food operations are having difficulty finding teenage workers. Resort employers, unable to find Amercian kids willing to work, have taken to importing workers from European countries. Most experts say the problem is a prosperous economy and rich parents, who already provide their little darlings with everything they need. But apologists for the kids say it's not that at all - it's merely because so many of them are going to summer school, serving internships, travelling abroad, etc. Right. Meanwhile, American high school kids, report that they are holding out for jobs more in line with their interests (if not their qualifications) in the computer and graphics areas, for which they expect to be paid in the neighborhood of $8 to $9 an hour. This is consistent with test results that show a wide discrepancy between how much the average American kid actually knows (not so much) and how much he thinks he knows (a whole lot). Sounds like it's time to shut off the self-esteem pump. Their tanks are full.
 
*********** Lawrence Taylor is back on the streets today, a free man once again after enduring the cruel punishment of 90-days of house arrest, given him back in April for filing a false tax return. The fabled LT, who arrived at his sentencing in U.S. District Court in Camden, New Jersey, resplendent in all black with a large silver cross earring, pleaded guilty to failing to pay $83,000 in taxes, including $48,000 in 1990 - a year in which he earned $1.39 million. He could have been given three years in prison, but even in view of the 90-day piece-of-cake sentence he was given, the Philadelphia Inquirer reported at the time of his sentencing that he was "visibly upset that the judge did not show him more leniency." Did you get that? More leniency. Hey. Dis that judge know who he was screwing around with? Evidently not, because The Inquirer article went on to report , "after learning about the 90-day house arrest, Taylor rushed out of the courtroom, and could be heard cursing in the hallway, where his attorney tried to calm him down." Things ended happily though, as a stretch limo waited outside, to transport him back to the fantasy land in which professional athletes dwell.
July 6 - "There are two things that disturb me - lack of effort and lack of attention."Blanton Collier, who succeeded Paul Brown as head coach of the Cleveland Browns, and won an NFL title in 1964
 
I think I am smart enough to recognize when advice that I've been asked for is beyond my ability to provide it. And honest enough to admit it. Certain aspects of strength training and conditioning fall into that category. I won't give people bad advice, but I don't want to send them packing, either. So I consider myself fortunate in having enlisted the expertise of Steve Plisk (LEFT), one of America's up-and-coming young strength and conditioning coaches. As Director of Sports Conditioning at Yale, Steve is responsible for the strength and conditioning needs of Yale's entire athletic department and its more-than 30 intercollegiate sports.  He joined Yale in 1997 from the University of Memphis, where he had been Strength Coach since 1995.  Prior to Memphis, his Strength & Conditioning resume includes work at the U.S. Olympic Training Center (1995, 1986), James Madison University (1992-95), Dartmouth College (1990-92), Austin Peay State University (1989-90), and the University of Colorado (1987-89).  A native of Orchard Park, New York, Steve is a 1987 graduate of SUNY-Buffalo with a B.S. in Sport & Exercise Science, and received his M.S. in Kinesiology from the University of Colorado in 1990.  He is a Certified Strength & Conditioning Specialist through the National Strength & Conditioning Association, and a Level 1 Coach through USA Weightlifting.  He is a member of the Board of Directors of the NSCA, is on the faculty of the NSCA Coaches' College, and is an Associate Editor of the Strength and Conditioning Journal. For the moment, if you have any questions in any area of Strength and Conditioning, don't be bashful - don't be afraid of sounding stupid. Ask- it's the only way you'll learn. Please feel free to e-mail your questions to me and I will forward them to Steve and publish his answer! Be sure to identify yourself and let me know whether you want your name used. Here is Steve's response to the question from a coach that I forwarded to him: Q. What is a "split squat?" A. This is essentially a lunge without the striding action. The athlete gets into a long, low position similar to the split performed by olympic-style lifters during the jerk. The feet should remain shoulder wide. The front foot is placed ~1 foot-length forward of the torso with the shin approximately vertical; and rear foot is placed ~2 foot-lengths backward, supported on the ball of foot and toes (the heel is elevated) with the backside knee slightly flexed. The athlete descends until the backside knee touches the floor, and then ascends back to the starting position with a scissor action at the hips. Resistance can be added by placing a barbell across the shoulders, or holding dumbbells in the hands.
 
*********** Jeff Huseth, my unofficial Minnesota correspondent, writes: "Hate crime....can't figure that one out. So does that mean a guy who shoots his kids and wife, (who was going to leave him)..... commits a 'love crime?' He apparently loved her so much he couldn't live without her! Which is worse then- a hate crime or a love crime? These libs sure make simple thoughts complicated!"
 
*********** Coaching pal Bill Mignault of Ledyard, Connecticut was kind enough to send me a "Stones" award nomination - an editorial from the Providence Journal, praising a group of middle-school teachers in Narragansett, Rhode Island. Seems they sat out their school's graduation, in protest of their school board's decision to let all students take part in graduation ceremonies - even those who failed. The only distinction between those who graduated and those who flunked was a small asterisk next to the flunkers' names - and there were some who thought that even the asterisks were too much. See, parents complained that their little darlings would feel "embarrassed" and "excluded" if they were not allowed to participate in graduation ceremonies, despite the fact that they didn't measure up. And the chairwoman of the school board agreed with them, somehow seeing "discrimination" in any attempt to draw the line between pass and fail. "I didn't like discrimination," she said. "I never have. I never will." Now, we are not talking here about excluding handicapped kids. Or children of recent immigrants. Or children with dark skin. Or children who speak accented English. We are talking about applying standards fairly and equally to all kids, and holding them - and maybe their parents, too - accountable for meeting those standards. Isn't the Narragansett school board's decision typical of the "everybody plays, everybody gets a trophy" thinking that infects our culture nowadays? You know - set low standards that anybody can meet, and then, even if you have kids who still don't meet them, honor 'em anyhow. Honor everybody, no matter how poorly he or she performs. So, three cheers for the teachers of Narragansett, Rhode Island, who had the stones to stand fast in defense of education. Said one of them, Karen Swoboda, "including kids who have not met the standards goes against the standards we, as teachers, believe in."
 
*********** I will leave most criticism of the Supreme Court to those better-informed than I am, but perhaps you can tell me how the same Court that can find prayer before a football game to be unconstitutional, partly because the taxpayers paid for that loudspeaker, then says it is okay to use funds from those same taxpayers to buy supplies for religious schools. The "supplies" are generally understood to be such things as computers, and, presumably, loud-speaker systems. Do you see where I'm going? I am told that they've been known to pray from time to time in religious schools. Do you suppose they might occasionally pray over loudspeakers bought with taxpayers' money? Perhaps, while you're at it, you can also tell me why a private school - or any of its students - that takes a nickel of federal aid must comply with Title IX - but not with the prohibition against school prayer?
 
*********** We just received a copy of the plans for the new, multi-million dollar high school our town plans to build. From the looks of it, they plan to get serious about discipline: out in back of the building are a couple of things called "detention ponds," indicating to me the pleasing possibility of a return to the dunking chair.
 
*********** Having lived in Finland, I've often thought that the cure for what ails our society is a universal draft similar to theirs, where every young man, upon graduation from high school, is expected to serve in the military for a year. But installing it in the US? Good luck. We're having trouble getting our teenagers to register! Our young patriots, content to sit at their computers and blow up space invaders while an all-volunteer military protects them, are failing to register for the draft in record numbers. Fully 17 per cent of young men under the age of 20 have not even bothered to register, nearly double the 10 per cent figure of just two years ago. True, many of them are dropouts, who don't have the convenience of registering right there at school (Motivated by the fear of the FBI coming after me if I didn't, I had to take two buses and a subway just to get to my draft board and register). Nevertheless, it's still the law, as ads everywhere remind us. Of course, when the law means what it does to professional athletes who repeatedly abuse drugs and are given "lifetime" suspensions that last a year, when "first offenders" are routinely given probation or "community service," when Our President commits perjury and it's no big deal, it's difficult to convince teenage boys that we mean business. Or do we?
July 5 - "If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings'". Dave Barry
 
*********** "There were twenty-two of us in the high school (in Earlsville, Illinois) - seventeen boys and five girls. Of the seventeen boys, fifteen played football, and of the two who didn't, one was a cripple, and the other myself. I took no part in school sports. My uncle wanted me to be a doctor, so I went to the University of Chicago. One day, while watching practice with open mouth, I failed to get out of the way and Director Stagg (Coach Amos Alonzo Stagg) fell over me. Picking himself up, he said, 'Plainly, you are a freshman. Get a suit and come out.' Next day, wanting to see the inside of the gym, I did report for the freshman team, but that evening I was so exhausted after a stiff scrimmage that I turned in my suit. A few days later, Pat Page, the freshman coach, said to me, 'I didn't size you up for a quitter.' So I went back." H.O. Fritz Crisler, who would go on to be a great player at Chicago, and an all-time great coach at Princeton and Michigan.
 
*********** If, after the Fourth, anybody is seriously interested in pursuing the subject of the Declaration of Independence, the book you want is Carl L. Becker's "The Declaration of Independence," first published in 1922 but reprinted at least twice since then, and available in paperback. It is a marvelous study of the thought and research that Jefferson put into the Declaration, and shows the various drafts he submitted to his four colleagues and the revisions that were made before it was submitted in its final, immortal form to the judgment of the ages.
 
*********** "The pathetic, feminized media, including, to my amazement, the sportscasters, fear white Southern men, and well they should. We are what stand between them and their socialist agenda. We are aware of it, and we reject it. Thus, we are ridiculed." - Michael Peirce
 
*********** Mr. Peirce (above) must have had in mind "feminized media" people like Mr. Perfection himself, Bryant Gumbel. Last Thursday, Mr. Gumbel had just finished interviewing a man named Bob Knight, of the Family Research Council, on the "Early Morning Show." Mr. Knight had expressed his organization's support of the Supreme Court's decision upholding the Boy Scouts' right not to allow homosexuals to serve as scoutmasters. (Yes-s-s-s-s! They got one right.) The TV camera switched to the weatherman, but for some unexplained reason switched back to Mr. Gumbel, who, thinking he was off-camera, was caught remarking about Mr. Knight, "what a f---ing idiot." Mr. Knight's sin, you see, was agreeing with the Boy Scouts that a boy's pledge to keep himself "morally straight" pretty much rules out homosexuality. That makes him, in the eyes of Mr. Gumbel and others like him in the mass media, a f---king idiot. The Wall Street Journal, reporting on the incident, suggested perhaps a visit to a psychiatrist, or a little anger management counseling might be in order for Bryant Gumble. After all, that was the sentence handed down to John Rocker, who Mr. Gumbel and others of his ilk consider a far greater threat to our culture than any homosexual scoutmaster. Now you've got me all confused. Who is the real f---ing idiot here, anyhow?
 
*********** Call it the Stealth Shoe, because if you're over the age of 20, it's coming in under your radar. You'll never hear about it, which is just as things are intended. It's Nike's new "Presto" shoe, and unless you watch MTV or read a magazine like Teen People, or your kid tells you he needs $85 for a new pair of Prestos, you'll probably never hear about it. Nike is sinking $10 million into an advertising campaign that you will probably never be aware of. Nike couldn't care less about you and me. But is essential to Nike that this one clicks with the kids. Nike, you see, is no longer cool. Neither, for that matter, is any other sports shoe. In just two years, from 1997 to 1999, sneaker sales fell by $1 billion, as teen fashion tastes swung away from jock to Gap. So the Presto, Nike's attempt to win back the younger kids, is a real break-through for a company primarily identified with high-performance sports gear. Designed as a running shoe, the Presto comes in 17 different color combinations with names like Shady Milkman and Rogue Kielbasa, and is "stretchable," fitting a wide range of foot sizes. That enables Nike to manufacture and sell the shoes like tee-shirts, in sizes from XXS to XL. On the theory that it will be more desirable to kids if it is relatively rare, Nike is limiting (or at least announcing that it is limiting) its production of Prestos. This will also insure it against taking a serious bath if the shoe should prove a flop. An even bigger risk for Nike, it would appear to me, is that the shoe is positioned more as a fashion shoe than as an athletic shoe. The fashion arena is scary, especially kids' fashion, because kids are notoriously fickle. And while Presto's initial sales are said to be promising, they are not strong in conventional sports outlets. "I've only sold a couple," says Tim Dodson, manager of Portland's Tri-Sport Running and Walking. Dave Harkin, of the Portland Running Co., says, "This shoe is a joke to technical running." Don't ever forget the short run of L.A. Gear, which was once a hot brand, but whose shoes were so strongly perceived as fashion shoes that nobody ever took them seriously as sports gear. Not that you and I will ever know whether Prestos are hot or not. We probably won't even know whether they're being sold at all. "We've failed if anyone over 20 sees these ads," says Tara Hays, assistant ad manager at Nike. "That's how I know they're working, because I don't see them."
 
*********** Ed Sherman of the Chicago Tribune, on the Dennis Miller hiring by Monday Night Football,, mentions past Miller routines packed with phrases like "testosterone-driven catharsis," and "empirical law," and predicts, "If Miller pulls the same shtick on a football broadcast, you'll be wishing for Boomer Esiason to tell you third and 10 is a passing situation."
 
*********** Ray Lewis made a surprise appearance at last week's NFL's rookie orientation in San Diego, and counseled the lads to watch out who they associate with. Good advice, Ray. Actually, it'll be interesting to see if you can follow your own advice. Problem is, what's the point in being successful - in making all that money - if you can't cruise around in a stretch limo showing off with a bunch of fawning toadies? You ever tried putting an entourage together with good guys? It's not easy - most of them have jobs.
 
*********** Just on the chance that perhaps you don't respect tennis players for the athletes they are, Australian Mark Philippoussis and a guy named Sjeng Schalken played a tennis match Saturday that lasted five hours and five minutes. I get worn out sitting in an airplane for five hours and five minutes.
 

July 3-4 - "I believe in the United States of America as a Government of the people, by the people, for the people; whose just powers are derived from the consent of the governed; a democracy in a republic, a sovereign Nation of many sovereign states; a perfect Union, one and inseparable; established upon those principles of freedom, equality, justice and humanity for which American patriots sacrificed their lives and fortunes. I therefore believe it is my duty to my country to love it, to support its Constitution, to obey its laws, to respect its flag, and to defend it against all enemies." William Tyler Page, "The American's Creed," adopted by the House of Representatives, April 3, 1918 (and seriously in need of re-adoption, July 4, 2000)

***********Without looking, now - anybody know the last word of the Declaration of Independence? There is a beautiful piece circulating on the Web that I have had forwarded to me at least a dozen times, but it is no less beautiful the twelfth time you read it than it is the first time. It tells of a group of courageous men who put their asses on the line when they signed the Declaration, and the hardships many of them later underwent because they signed it. (A group seriously lacking, by the way, in the diversity so precious to today's multiculture freaks.) John Hancock , the first to sign, is said to have written his name intentionally large as an act of bold defiance - "so that King George can read it without his spectacles." Many of those men paid dearly for having put their names on the document, as they knew they might. When Thomas Jefferson (who did most of the writing) and the other four members of the Committee of Five - John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Robert Livingston and Roger Sherman - were wrapping up their justification to the rest of the world of what they were doing , they indicated in their final passage that they knew what was at stake: "...with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence (that was sort of their pre-game prayer- there wasn't any Supreme Court yet), we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor." Interestingly, many of those men did, in fact, lose their fortunes; some even lost their lives. But through the darkest of times, none of them lost his Honor. That's because Honor was the one thing that no one else could take from them - the only way a man can lose his honor is to sell it or give it away. To those men, their honor was sacred! Why do I think that certain of our current leaders have never read the Declaration all the way through - to the last word?
 
***********I know, I know. Picky, picky. But there I was, going through our local newspaper Saturday, reading about the July 4 preparations taking place around our county, and what should I see but a color picture of two young ladies, doing their patriotic duty, preparing decorations. They were kneeling on the ground, and lying on the ground next to them were several American flags. Hey! I thought. What's wrong with this picture? Doesn't anybody give a crap about flag etiquette any more? Doesn't anybody know you're not supposed to let the American Flag so much as touch the ground, let alone lie there? I don't blame those kids. I blame their teachers - those remnants of the 60's who scoffed at patriotism - those worms who gave us flag-burning as a protected form of free speech, who don't think it's any big deal when kids leave their hats on and screw around during the National Anthem, who, despite what their state law says, have decided that in their classroom it's a waste of time to pledge allegiance to the flag every morning. How many of you can remember being taught as a kid- by parents, teachers, Boy Scout leaders, and the old guys from the American Legion - that you never let the flag touch the ground? And that, if you ever did, you were required to dispose of it properly?
 
***********"The next generation of American leaders and citizens is in danger of losing America's civic memory." So said four members of Congress recently. To them, I would say, "Next generation? Where've you been, guys, while our culture's been going down the drain?" David Broder's column on Sunday dealt with a survey taken last year among a random sample of 556 seniors at such prestigious colleges as Amherst, Duke, Grinnell, Harvard and Williams. They were asked 34 multiple-choice questions ("multiple guess" as my students used to call them) about American history. The questions were on the level normally asked of high school students, yet if it had been a test, 65 per cent of those college seniors would have flunked, with scores of 60 or less. One of the questions asked students to identify the American general at Yorktown, from among Sherman, Grant, MacArthur or Washington. Only one out of three got it correct. More of them incorrectly answered Grant, a Civil War general, than correctly answered Washington, who at Yorktown accepted the surrender of British General Cornwallis to effectively end the Revolutionary War.
 
The sponsor of the survey, a group calling itself the American Council of Trustees and Alumni, noted that none of U.S. News and World Report's 55 "elite colleges and universities" requires a course in U.S. history to graduate. And it is not as if they're getting the job done in high schools. Based on my exprience as a parent, a teacher, and an observer of American education, I can safely say that much of what's being taught in high schools as U.S. history is a farce. Part of it may be our rush to "diversify" history by injecting everyb possible ethnic group into the story. But a major part of it, says Kenneth T. Jackson, a professor at Columbia and president of the Organization of American Historians, is that, "We may be too free to teach our specialty, rather than what students need to know." Tell me about it. My wife and I were beneficiaries of parents who sacrificed to provide us with the best educations they could, and we made every effort to do the same for our kids. We were, by and large, fortunate to have lived in a town - Vancouver, Washington - with a well-funded public school system and generally good teachers. Our kids worked hard. We saw to that. And we supported their teachers. Except once.
 
One of our daughters came home one day early in the school year to inform us that her honors U.S. history teacher had announced plans to spend the entire semester on a study of Vancouver, Washington during World War II. Huh? What about the history of our nation? Hey guys, I was a history major in college. What if you had been a biology major and he said that your kid's Introductory Biology class was going to consist exclusively of studying how big corporations pollute America? What's that? You say that's what they are doing and there's nothing you can do about it? Oh. Sorry. Anyhow, that was going to be the extent of her "U.S." history, a course required of all high school students in the state of Washington and, I daresay, most of the other 49 states. I raised hell. So did my wife. So, fortunately, did the parents of some other college-bound kids. (Think you'd have some calls from parents if you told your football players that you were going to spend the entire season teaching them to drop-kick?) Finally, after quite a bit of resistance, the teacher backed down. But if we hadn't jumped in his shorts, that turkey was prepared to sacrifice the educations of our kids so that they could help him on some pet project that he wanted to do. Senator Joe Lieberman of Connecticut must have had teachers like him in mind when he spoke in Congress last week. He said, "With the Fourth fast approaching, I can think of no better way to celebrate the anniversary of America's independence than for us to remember what moved a band of patriots to lay down all for liberty, and then to promise never to forget. Of course, you can't forget what you never learned."
  
*********** There was a story about the great humorist Robert Benchley and the time he was a student at Harvard and was given an exam for which, having partied excessively, he was unprepared. The question was something like "Discuss the Offshore Fisheries Treaty of ---- Between Canada and the United States from the point of view of one of the participants." Knowing absolutely nothing about either the American or Canadian points of view, Benchley very cleverly wrote about it from the point of view of - the fish. I was reminded of this by a totally unpredicted event which has shaken Northwest tree-huggers down to their Birkenstocks. A group of environmentalist-scientists and earth-firsters has been pushing really hard to "breach" (blow up) dams along the Snake and Columbia Rivers, turning them once again into wild-running streams, the better to allow endangered salmon back upstream to spawn. Little school kids, indoctrinated by their earth-loving teachers, are being enlisted in the great effort to Save the Salmon. Fish good. Dams bad. Alpha Gore, a true Friend of the Environment, passed through the Northwest and rang in on the side of the dam-breachers. See, the salmon runs haven't been what they should have been the past few years, and even though you know and I know that ocean conditions, pollution and overfishing could possibly have a little something to do with it, why not spend a few billion dollars and get rid of those pesky dams and see if it helps? After all, as the PETA people would say, salmon are people, too. Well, other than the fact that no one can say with certainty that removing the dams will do a thing for the salmon, there are a few endangered humans to think about out here - people living in homes and working in industries whose electricity is generated by those dams; people, many of them 300 miles or more inland, whose livelihoods depend on their ability to ship goods to the ocean by barge; farmers whose tens of thousands of acres of irrigated land will turn brown without the water collected behind the dams; people living downstream, who before the dams were built could set their watches by the spring floods. (I won't even mention anything so frivolous as the recreation provided by the huge lakes that those dams have created.) Well, with all the argument going on, nobody ever bothered to check on the fish. Seems that while all this debate has been taking place, the fish have been busy doing something no one predicted: reproducing. This past spring's Columbia River spring chinook salmon run was expected to be 134,000; it topped 200,000. And the Columbia River sockeye salmon run, going on right now, was originally estimated to be about 30,000 fish; it exceeded that total in one recent week. (People actually sit in front of glass windows down inside the dams, counting the fish as they swim by.) Experts are now revising their estimate upward to somewhere in the neighborhood of 150,000, the highest in 12 years. No one can say with certainty why. Robert Benchley could probably tell us, if he were still alive.
 

***********The top 50 per cent of American wage-earners pay 95 per cent of all taxes, meaning that we are just about at the point described by Scottish historian Alexander Tytler: "A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until a majority of voters discover that they can vote themselves largess (generous gifts) out of the public treasury." So enjoy your Fourth, but don't overdo it. You've got to get back to work on Wednesday, because for every one of you who pays taxes and votes, there's now at least one guy out there who also votes - and wants your tax money.

 
***********As a long-time Mac user, I just had to pass along one of the reasons Mac is appealing to new computer users (28 per cent of iMac buyers are people buying their first personal computer). It's a current Mac commercial that goes something like this: Three Easy Steps to using the Internet (with an iMac):Step 1- Plug it in; Step 2- Plug in the telephone cord; Step 3 - Hahahahahaha - there is no Step 3!
 
***********JULY 4th SAFETY REMINDER: According to the Wall Street Journal, the 10 American states that completely outlaw fireworks of any sort account for 41% of all fireworks injuries. (Hey, you guys in those weenie Eastern states where you're not even allowed to have M-80's - you're supposed to let go after you light them!) Now, if you'll excuse me - I have to hose down the roof to keep neighbor kids from setting the house on fire with their rockets.
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